This is the second part of a series examining the exploits of Jarvis Jones. The first part was written in the Fall of 2012 and was endorsed by Jarvis himself who labeled the piece, “legit” and “nice” and added “I like it” and “gotta love it” (all via Twitter). That story can be found here. As you’ll be able to tell, some of the story is fictionalized. But, all the images are real photographs taken by an undercover photographer. Enjoy.
Jarvis Jones and His Epic NFL Combine Preparation
When we last saw Jarvis Jones he was sitting at a post-game press conference with Coach Mark Richt and Aaron Murray. Georgia had just defeated Nebraska in the Capital One Bowl and in doing so reached just the third 12-win season in the program’s storied history. But the season was incomplete for Jarvis…or so he thought. He had not shattered the single-season UGA record for sacks…or so he thought.
“Hey Jarvis, how did it feel to get the sack record today?” a beat reporter asked.
Jones who had strongly been considering returning for his senior year just to shatter that record perked up at the question. “I got it?”
“Yes you did,” came the response.
“Ah, that’s pretty neat I guess…” Jarvis trailed off in an effort to not convey the very factual sentiment that he was a complete, total and unstoppable beast.
Having accomplished everything he could both on the field (records, records and records) and off (considered by many to be the greatest humanitarian college football has ever seen thanks to his creation of Global Warming and delightful 50-60 degree winter temperatures for the entire Southeast), Jarvis had no choice but to declare for the NFL Draft.
I shared the reaction below with most Georgia fans.
But while you cannot have too much of a good thing like Jarvis Jones, all good things – even Jarvis Jones – do come to an end. This was that end…of Jarvis Jones being a Georgia Bulldog. It wasn’t the end of Jarvis Jones being an all-around good dude.
You see, Jarvis had an NFL Draft to prepare for, and to prepare for the Draft he had to first prepare for the NFL Combine. The Combine, as you may know, is a series of skill tests designed to determine an athlete’s strength, speed, agility and overall awesomeness. The end goal of the NFL Combine is to determine the odds of a superior athlete’s success on a professional field of play.
Some players test at just a few events relevant to their position, others don’t test at all – they just get interviewed and measured. Jarvis obviously isn’t afraid of competition and he has no physical weaknesses. So he’s been preparing for each and every test. Here are some things he’s been spotted doing:
Jones prepared for the 40-Yard Dash with a nice trip to Europe. Not one to mix business with pleasure, Jones was hard at work pulling the Intercity-Express train in Zurich, Switzerland. Some say he was showing off, he says he was reducing energy consumption. He got pretty fast in the process.
To prepare for the 225 pound bench press test Jarvis has been filling in for a busted conveyor belt at General Motors plant. By holding the cars above his chest he is building strength and endurance, and by using his legs to slide on the floor he is building up his core strength and lower body explosiveness.
That lower body explosiveness has certainly paid off when he’s training for the vertical jump test. This preparation has sent Jarvis to Arctic ocean where he is bouncing from the bottom of the icy ocean floor and vaulting up above the crest of the water to serve as a buoy. You can’t possible understand how Jarvis is doing this, because his strength is unimaginable. But, it is important to understand why he is doing this. He’s marking a fully submerged iceberg that previously has a simple warning label on it and in doing so is warding off traveling sea vessels. Is it working? Let’s put it this way: the Titanic hasn’t crashed since Jarvis started his buoy patrol.
Jones’ training for the Broad Jump has been his second-most productive regiment. Thanks to Jones, a new bridge running the length (not the width) of the Grand Canyon is nearing completion.
3 Cone Drill
How good is Jarvis Jones at the three cone drill? FedEx gave him a full-time route for delivery in a 3-cone pattern. It spans the entire country.
But…Jarvis was hired away from FedEx to work for UPS on a shuttle-run route.
The Wonderlic is designed to test a player’s cognitive capabilities in a timed, pressure-packed situation. How has Jones been training for this test? He developed an effective way of reducing the national debt, balancing the budget and lowering taxes. The solution is too complicated to even begin describing, but know that the entirety of the US Government would be overhauled and the three branches of government (Legislative, Executive, Judicial) would have been replaced with three better branches: The Jar, The Vis and the Jones. Why wasn’t this accepted? Have you ever tried to put a politician out of a job? Reason never prevails. But Jarvis does. And the day of Jar, Vis, Jones revolution will be one of sweet, sweet victorious freedom.
Best of luck in your NFL Draft Combine preparation, Jarvis! And thanks for all that you are doing for the world.
That’s all I got/
This is the third of 14 Post-Season Game Recaps.
On September 15th the Owls of Florida Atlantic came to beautiful Athens, GA for a game against the highly-favored Bulldogs. Aaron Murray had a career day and the owls kept things a little too close for comfort during the first half.
What We Saw:
- Murray threw for a then-career high 342 yards on just 19 attempts.
- Georgia gave up a 43-yard TD run early as FAU tied the game 7-7.
- Michael Bennett had a 100-yard day.
- The Dawgs allowed 20 points.
- Gurshall became a “thing” as both Todd Gurley and Keith Marshal accounted for over 100 yards on 10 carries each.
What We Learned:
This game cemented Georgia’s offense as a threat. The season as a whole was in many ways defined as “elite,” but this game exposed all of Georgia’s playmakers for the first time. Murray was efficient (save for 1 INT), the backs we explosive (both averaged over 10.4 yards per carry) and six different receivers (Bennett, Arthur Lynch, Tavarres King, Malcolm Mitchell, Marlon Brown Justin Scott-Wesley) accounted for more than 40 yards worth of catches.
What We Should Have Learned:
The defense was going to be spotty. After a lackluster opener against Buffalo was followed by a heroic effort by Jarvis Jones, the defense settled into complacency and allowed FAU to hang around. The Owls tied the game 7-7 on the first quarter, tied the game 14-14 in the second and also scored early in the fourth (although it was off of an interception return).
Christian LeMay was not entrenched as the backup. LeMay threw a 43 yard pass to Scott-Wesley on one of his two pass attempts and he ran for a touchdown. Unfortunately his other pass attempt was a 42-yard INT returned for a TD and his other six rushing attempts accounted for just eight yards.
Murray was going to continue to set records. And boy did he.
This out-of-conference win with a poor defensive showing may have played a part in the defense’s near-shutout against Vanderbilt the following week. Or that may have just been Todd Grantham hating James Franklin.
That’s all I got/
Yesterday Kwame Geathers confirmed what was long expected – he’s keeping with the Geathers family tradition and leaving college early for the NFL.
I don’t necessarily agree with his decision (especially after what I thought was a poor showing in the Capital One Bowl), but I wish him all the best.
Here is a photo of the three-headed monster now known as Jarlecme Geatreenes (Copyright: DudeYouCrazy.net) discussing the NFL.
That’s all I got/
There’s really no way to quantify Jarvis’ impact in Athens, but if you wanted to try here is a sample of his performance over two years:
- 155 Total Tackles
- 91 Solo Tackles
- 44 Tackles for Loss
- 235 Tackle for Loss Yards
- 28 Sacks
- 193 Sack Yards
- 46 QB hurries
- 9 Fumbles Forced
- 1 Interception
If those figures don’t do Jones any justice, then neither will my paltry words. Nonetheless, here is some of my previous commentary on Jarvis Jones:
September 5, 2011: Boise State Game Recap
Jarvis Jones played a terrific game. While watching the game live he was one of the few consistent heads around the ball. He was easy to spot because he could not keep his helmet on. He swarmed, got into the backfield and just flat-out tackled – something other players didn’t seem to identify with.
October 27, 2011: Florida Live-Blog
- Jarvis Jones with third sack the night. YumYumYumYumYum.
- Jarvis Jones forces a turnover. He has to be MVP is Georgia wins this game and I’m not sure it’s too late for him to make run at the GOP nomination.
- Georgia’s MVP: Jarvis Jones or UF Penalties
- My main man Jarvis Jones. ..4 Prez
August 16, 2012: Handicapping the SEC East
Jarvis Jones is the new Y2K. Wreaking Havoc.
August 22, 2012: How Good is Georgia’s Defense?
Jarvis Jones, Junior – Arguably the best linebacker in the country, Jones capitalized on a great 2011 season (70 tackles, 19.5 for a loss, 13.5 sacks, two forced fumbles and 49 QB Pressures) with a great Spring that saw him named Defensive Co-MVP. He is a consensus top-10 pick in the 2013 NFL Draft
And then…this season began. Early in the year I wrote (and illustrated) a piece explaining how Jarvis Jones changed the world. People laughed, people cried, people loved. Jarvis Jones read, Jarvis Jones laughed, Jarvis Jones tweeted.
Jarvis offered the following via Twitter: Saw the article, nice man gotta love it lol.
He then followed up with: lol that’s legit man…I like it.
Over the course of the year we learned that Jarvis might be Manti Te’o’s father. We all watched Jarvis Jones dominate and on Tuesday, January 1, 2013 I had the unique opportunity to catch some of his final moments as a Bulldog.
So long Jarvis Jones. It has been a pleasure.
That’s unfortunately all I got/
About two hours ago Anthony Dasher of ugasports.com (Georgia’s Rivals.com Network site) reported that Jarvis Jones will announce his entrance into the NFL Draft as early as today.
Nobody is stunned by this news, and I hope I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure the picture below is an accurate preview of what’s to come.
And yes, I do expect him to be in full uniform when he makes his announcement.
That’s all I got/