Category Archives: SECual Healing

Brice Ramsey, We Barely Knew Ye


Back in the summer of 2015, the whole DudeYouCrazy braintrust reached a consensus. With the loss of Mike Bobo and the laughable hire of Brian Schottenheimer, any objective observer knew the offense would lose its spacing in the run game and its aggressiveness through the air.

We wanted Brice Ramsey, QB1, Georgia Bulldogs. We never got our wish. Instead, things went from bad to worse in a hurry, as our Schottenheimer nightmares were further buoyed by the wholly unexciting transfer of Greyson Lambert. I wrote the following:

While I could’ve lived with Golson at the helm, the news that Lambert is now considering heading to Athens with two years’ eligibility remaining horrifies me. It tells me that a) maybe Ramsey isn’t as ready as I thought; and b) to the extent that we’d take a flier on a guy who was somewhere below mediocre at Virginia.

Below mediocre, you ask? Lambert’s 2014 numbers: 154/261 (59%), 10 TD, 11 INT, raw QBR of 45.1 (QBR is ESPN’s method of evaluating quarterbacks on a 1-100 scale versus replacement and adjusted for situation- if you see me talking QB’s I’ll probably reference it). Against ACC competition? That QBR dips to 39.5, with a paltry 6.5 yards per attempt. In fact, Lambert’s only non-pedestrian performances came against BYU (71.1 QBR) and Richmond (92.2, YAAAAYYYYY).

Even Jason Smith, who wrote about football quarterly in a good year, chimed in:

So while most predict that Brice Ramsey will still be the starter come opening day, the speculation will only ramp up as to how solid that prediction actually is. Moreover, if Ramsey is named the starter there will inevitably be a huge swath of fans wondering why on earth you decide to pursue Lambert in the first place.

Take all of that into consideration and this new transfer has already put the 2015 season into a chaotic register, but I don’t think its as bad as some folks will make it out to be.

The consensus we reached was this: Greyson Lambert seeing the field for the University of Georgia was bad. We hoped Brice Ramsey could save Schottenheimer from himself, but apparently the prospect of seeing him on the field was worse than the mediocrity to which we were subjected by Lambert.

To his credit, Ramsey was a good sport about it. He tantalized us with his arm talent (and frustrated us with his bad reads) in spot duty in 2014 and 2015. He took over as the punter, of all things, for parts of the ’15 and ’16 seasons. And he was last seen in Rodrigo Blankenship’s claim that “even the backup punter has a scholarship”, when the backup punter happened to be one Brice Ramsey.

Given the events of the past two years, one ponders an alternate universe where Ramsey lives up to his billing as the nation’s 6th-ranked pro-style QB. Does his ability to actually throw a 15-yard out make the 2015 Bulldogs more explosive? Does he save Mark Richt’s job? I have to imagine that he’d have tried to be a little more efficient given a longer leash, but that’s based on nothing but my vindicated fears of a Greyson Lambert-led offense.

We never got the chance to find out. It probably would’ve been more fun if we did.

Unfortunately, we’ll never know. Ramsey may go down in the ethos of Georgia football as the recruiting bust who cost Mark Richt his job, or the quarterback-turned-punter who found a way onto the field in order to try to help his team win.

But here’s to you, Brice Ramsey, I hope the grad transfer choose-your-own-adventure leads you to a Jeff Driskel/Louisiana Tech redemption tour (or hell, aim higher if you want), where you’re put in a position to throw for 4,500 yards.

Lane Kiffin Will be Back in the SEC by 2019. Let’s Handicap Where He Goes.


Let’s go into a time capsule. The 2018 SEC regular season has just wrapped up, the current cycle of ‘new’ head coaches in the league have either established themselves or failed miserably, and there’ll be one name on the market that exceeds all others: 44-year old FAU head coach Lane Kiffin.

Kiffin, in southern Florida head coaching purgatory, has led the Owls to…something better than their 3-9 records of 2014-16, and has overachieved in recruiting even while going against Butch Davis, Charlie Strong, and Scott Frost for third-tier Florida recruits. Having spent three years in the Nick Saban school for coaches who can’t coach good and want to learn to do other stuff good too, he’s got the stink of failed stints in Oakland, Knoxville, and Los Angeles pretty much worn off, and will be sold to an SEC fanbase with a write-up stating something like the following:

Kiffin, 44, has matured from early failed coaching opportunities, as he rehabilitated his image leading Alabama’s offense to heights unseen under Nick Saban. At FAU, he has gone 15-11 with a Bahamas Bowl victory and an average recruiting class ranking in the 60’s, unheard of for the Owls.

This is a home run hire for (insert SEC team) no doubt, as he is young, experienced, a dynamic recruiter, and an offensive genius. Expect (insert SEC team) to see immediate results in recruiting and become a more compelling team on the field from day 1.

The fun part of this thought exercise? Its feasible that he could end up at literally ANY SEC program. Hires of Will Muschamp (twice), Jim McIlwain, and Kirby Smart are obvious indications that ANY ties to Alabama are worth their weight in Nick Saban-bronze statues to SEC AD’s.

Auburn (4:1): Leading off with the most obnoxious little brother-syndrome fanbase seems an obvious pick, and this timeline works perfectly. Gus Malzahn bought himself another year with a resurgent two months in 2016– but has no quarterbacks in the pipeline, so patience should be running pretty thin by this time next year. A slow start in 2018 and he’s toast.

In Kiffin, Auburn is tangentially, but not directly, tied to Saban after Kiffin’s departure. The hype around his ability to find a QB and playmakers will resonate on the plains, and Prince Lane returns to Alabama to restore the glory of the Auburn Tigers.

Ole Miss (5:1): Hugh Freeze may not survive this offseason, and that’s the only justification I have for putting the odds that low. Shea Patterson is on a three-year plan to leave Oxford (not gonna happen) and Kiffin will be seen as the savior who can right Patterson’s career. And the NCAA mess Freeze will inevitably leave behind.

LSU (8:1): Coach O has a low buyout, no quarterback, and no success as a full-time head coach.

I’d say his leash is about two years.

Kiffin fulfills his destiny, after being rumored to be O’s choice for OC this offseason.

Florida (10:1): Bolstered, no doubt, by his presence in the state, Kiffin will steal one under-the-radar recruit from the Gators and make him his offensive bellcow– putting up 90 catches for 1,400 yards in 2018 while Florida’s offense continues to be among the worst in the country.

Even on the heels of back-to-back SEC East titles, McIlwain has done nothing to show he’s a long-term fit in Gainesville. He was linked to the Oregon job this offseason, and seems savvy enough to pull the “I’m gonna be fired in a year, so let me get a new contract now” move of Houston Nutt and others before him.

McIlwain was an offensive hire, but the Gators have maintained their strong defenses from the Muschamp era…and the offense is still broken.

Kiffin with Florida talent! Unbelievable hire!

Arkansas (13:1): My thought is that, after two years of success at FAU, this won’t be sexy enough for Lane. If he peels back the curtains for a minute though, he’ll see that there is no sexier job in CFB. His two predecessors:

  • Bobby Petrino, motorcycle accident with a young staffer. (8/10 sexy rating)
  • Bret Bieliema, of “borderline erotic” fame. (8/10 sexy rating)

Bieliema has low-key sucked at Arkansas, overall, and his window to break through is probably the best fit for this timeline.

Alabama (15:1): Someday sooner than we realize, Nick Saban will retire or move on. Why not after his fourth-straight national championship? Steve Sarkisian will still have too many alcohol-related red flags to make the jump. Jeremy Pruitt is too unstable a human.

Why not keep Saban’s coordinators in place and rehire his right-hand man?

 

Georgia (25:1): (*note: this won’t happen with Greg McGarity at AD, and they likely won’t fire a “Georgia man” after three years, but say Kirby Smart is .500 after three years and Mark Richt has at least one ACC Coastal title*)

Yeah, it doesn’t sound so bad anymore, does it?

Georgia has the pro-style personnel in place to take immediate strides, and Smart’s recruiting will lend itself to an immediate turnaround to eke out another 2-3 wins based on talent and decent coaching alone.

RIP, “Kirby Dumb” memes.

South Carolina (30:1): A retread hire at South Carolina? Surely you jest. Lou Holtz, Steve Spurrier, and Will Muschamp have all found varying degrees of success doing just this, and I’m hedging on Coach Boom riding Jake Bentley and the young Cocks to two excellent seasons before he takes a better job (not gonna happen, but 30:1 seems safe).

Or, Boom flames out, or has a heart attack on the field, or something.

Off the board, but let’s try it: 

Tennessee: Please god, yes.

Vanderbilt: For the complete opposite reason of above, please.

Mississippi State: Arkansas’ lack of sexy combined with an even less sexy history and Starkville.

Kentucky/Missouri: probably should’ve attached odds to both, but honestly forgot about these programs. Not a high enough ceiling for Lane, anyway.

Texas A&M: Tom Herman year 1 hysteria forces Kevin Sumlin out after 2017, Kiffin campaigns but does not get it.

 

 

 

SECual Healing: Chubb Return and Bigtime Dismissals


(Shouldn’t Lead with this Headline, but I Got My Morning Chubb)

Let’s get the important thing out of the way: Nick Chubb might be Jesus. Modern medicine has come a great ways as it relates to devastating knee injuries in sports, but Chubb’s was worse than those.

Since his training videos leaked in the spring, there’s been a sneaking, optimistic suspicion that Chubb was going to defy the odds and suit up in (!!!) less than a month against UNC. Seeing it actually happen and become a certainty? Amazing. And it gives Georgia a little more flexibility to start Jacob Eason with Chubb as a safety net.

Certainly, there’s still the issue of seeing how the knee holds up against contact, and the ‘yips’ of returning from a major injury.

15 carries for about 110 and two scores sounds about right.

Holy Dismissals

News broke around 6pm that Auburn had dismissed presumptive starting RB Jovon Robinson. Their depth chart is worse than a Chubb-and-Michel-less Georgia’s now, as Peyton Barber went pro early (that was news to me) and Roc Thomas transferred out.

More shocking and impactful than that, though, was the pair at Missouri. Its no secret that Mizzou’s success has been almost exclusively due to ridiculous defensive lines. Walter Brady led FBS freshmen in sacks last year with 8, and Harold Brantley went from feel-good story to cautionary tale. Brantley was severely injured in a car accident coming off a promising sophomore season, and Mizzou was banking on both as starters.

If the D can’t hold teams under…like…8 points, its gonna be a long season for the Zoo.

Let’s Hope Kirby Doesn’t Bring This Sabanism to Georgia

Just deplorable. Old petty man with a Napoleon complex.

Give It A Rest, Dude

/hashtag wanking motion/

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