Category Archives: SEC
Quick note: This isn’t Dpalm writing. Barstool Sports graciously linked to our site and linked to his archive in the process so I’m pretending to be him. If you’re new here thanks to Barstool or anyone else, welcome. Here’s our main page. -Dude
What a time to be alive, folks. I invented hating Ole Miss’s 2013 recruiting class. I’m the original Ole Miss doubter.
Before Laremy Tunsil even signed with Ole Miss I tried to talk him out of it. I expressed concerns about recruiting violations directly to the Ole Miss athletic department. I attributed that 2013 class to either something nefarious or simple “magic.” I wondered if Ole Miss’s chill AF drug policy was a recruiting advantage. I fielded questions via email from ESPN’s Shelley Smith about Ole Miss recruiting violations even though the only evidence I had was common sense.
So the Tunsil thing (both the weed video and the money texts) was incredible. I hate it for him (I actually kind of do), but it was incredible. I treated the whole situation as I treat most things—with irreverence—and wrote a fake statement from Tunsil’s agent while on the toilet. There were typose and squiggly lines under his name in the iPhone Notes app. But it worked, apparently.
Now it’s everywhere.
I don’t know what to say other than the internet is a crazy thing and people are even crazier. In a push, I’d say 70% of the responses I read thought this thing was real. I kind of love that. Another 20% knew it was fake and a joke. A solid 10% hated me. But this thing took off like nothing I’ve ever published (which isn’t necessarily saying a lot).
Michelle Beadle followed me on Twitter in an all-time “Wait, what?” moment. The Big Lead had to clarify that the post was false. Holier-than-thou media had to inform followers that this was an atrocious attempt at fraud or whatever. I’ve heard the statement was referenced/read on Mike & Mike this AM but famous people like me don’t listen to ESPN Radio.
But in any event, if you’re new to DudeYouCrazy, welcome. We’ve been here for almost six years. We were small and then we got bigger and then we got smaller and maybe now we’re big again? Make us big again.
That’s all I got/
Dave T is today’s MVP. Seriously, Dave T, where are you? I’m going to send you a DYC sticker or something.
So about an hour ago, Dave T took issue with my first post of the morning (entitled “Commemorate #93KDay With This T-Shirt“). It was a blog post about a #93KDay T-shirt I am selling. Seems simple enough. But I guess it wasn’t clear what the article was about, so Dave T expressed his disdain (screenshot because this is so strong). Apparently he felt somehow tricked into clicking the link:
Ah. So Dave T, as of 12:44 p.m., was pretty over the whole DudeYouCrazy thing. The site’s not funny. It’s never been funny. He is hesitant to click the links and he wonders why he even bothered.
But then we just reeled the poor sucker right back in. My next post (with the catchy title “About the Ludacris Rider“) must have been too much to resist.
Welcome to Click-bait City, Population: Dave T.
Twenty minutes after complaining on the other post, he offered this on the newer post:
A half dozen things to point out briefly:
- I’m not 30-something. As a guy who’s as close to 28 as he is to 29, that’s as insulting as it is preposterous.
- I don’t just talk about Monster drinks…I drink them everyday.
- No comment on the adderall.
- I have no salt life sticker.
- I have no truck.
- 30-something me would love to drive a truck though.
So, since Dave T just can’t resist me, I figured I’d throw him a bone and blog about him for a change. It’s the least I could do for a fish that’s probably been caught three times in one day at this juncture.
Here’s to you Dave T.
[Swigs Monster and stares longingly at the would-be pickup truck that’s actually a Hyundai.]
That’s all I got/
Look, Luda’s rider and G-Day pay day was a big enough deal to justify a dope t-shirt. But it’s not that big of a deal.
Musicians get paid to perform. That’s kind of their whole thing. Honestly, the fact that he was only paid $65k is suggestive that Ludacris (past his prime, but possibly quite strong in a 15-minute “Greatest Hits” concert) wasn’t the reason so many people showed up. I have no idea if this list is remotely accurate, but there’s a slew of artists that command more than $100k for a concert. And although the gig was only 15 minutes, it still commanded a large chunk of Mr. Cris’s day.
And the rider thing is pretty commonplace. My fraternity used to host various artists for parties and whatnot in college. Those guys had riders too. No one would ever trust me with a shopping list, so I don’t know if yogurt and condoms were on those riders but they might have been.
Hell, I have a rider for my own appearances at tailgates and whatnot. I don’t show up if you don’t have my list. This is last year’s edition so it may be subject to change. But I don’t watch a game with anyone (in Athens, at home or elsewhere) without these items:
So this is probably a non-story. But Mark Richt is probably rolling over in his naturally tanned South Beach grave knowing that McGarity paid him to leave after winning 10 games and later paid for Ludacris’s condoms.
That’s all I got/
Everything is clicking right now. When you think DudeYouCrazy, you think of the three F’s:
- Football – That’s what we do here.
- Fashion – That’s what we do everywhere.
- Finance – That’s what the Dude does in the real world.
This t-shirt rolls all three F’s into one celebratory garment. After all, Spring Game t-shirts are the new Championship t-shirts. You can’t win a national championship if you don’t win your own intra-squad scrimmage. That’s just a fact.
A lot goes into making a football program great. You need great facilities for your current players and to recruit future stars. You need the most skilled coaches available or at least someone to coach each of the game’s three phases (even special teams). You need condoms for whatever rapper chooses to grace the field before your team scrimmages (that’s real). This shirt captures all that.
And guess what: you can own part of this history. #93KDay can be everyday if you buy one (or several) of these bad boys. So support your local blog. All proceeds go to a good cause: the aforementioned local blog.
That’s all I got/
On Saturday afternoon Kirby Smart assessed the situation at Sanford Stadium with one word: Wow.
He was understandably blown away that 93,000 people showed up. So was I. Or was I?
Smart acknowledged the haters in his post-game press conference. “You know there were a lot of doubters out there. A lot of doubters that said it couldn’t be done.”
I could see how I might be falsely lumped into that group of naysayers. After all, on Thursday morning I stated simply, “There’s not going to be 93,000 people at G-Day. You could talk me into #50kDay (maybe) but not #93kDay.”
But was I hating or was I motivating? In that same post I chastised that administration’s inability to secure a musical act. A few hours later, motivated most likely by my post, a musical act was announced. Hating or motivating? You be the judge.
But while you’re judging I’m going to drop down some more observations from the spring game. In no particular order, let’s dive in:
Kirby Smart’s Defense Sucks
A few months ago, a Kirby Smart defense from Alabama allowed 478 yards of offense to Clemson’s quarterback. I wanted to put the blame of that performance on Alabama’s general lack of talent, but having seen Smart coach one scrimmage at Georgia it’s clear that the players aren’t the problem. Kirby Smart is the problem. Georgia’s quarterbacks—only one of which will start any given game in the fall—combined to complete 51 of 83 attempts for 687 yards and two touchdowns.
It’s going to be a long season if Smart doesn’t figure out a way to replace himself as head coach.
You Can’t Spell “Losing Season” Without “Eason”
Jacob Eason did a lot of things right on Saturday. He showed poise in the pocket, he showed touch through the air, he showed how tall he is. But poise plus touch plus height does not automatically equate to victories.
Two things really concerned me about Eason’s effort on Saturday.
- No Desire To Score: Eason threw the ball 29 times and only tossed one touchdown pass. To paraphrase Kenny Powers, I want a quarterback who can play a real sports not just one who’s the best at exercising. 96.552% of his pass attempts were meaningless. To put this into context, if Eason wants to throw as many TD passes as Greyson Lambert threw for last year (an unacceptable total of 12), he’s going to need to attempt 348 passes. That’s almost 100 more than Lambert attempted in 2015. Sure, this is a small sample size but it also came against a typically atrocious Kirby Smart defense.
- Not A Team Player: If you have two quarterbacks, you don’t really have one. Ever heard that? Well, if you play for two teams, you really don’t play for one, either. Eason played for both the red and the black teams on Saturday. He’s not a team player. Team players aren’t teams players. Further, Eason was completely unwilling to play the field position game by punting. Brice Ramsey, who’s selfless, punted several times.
Remember When Nick Chubb Was Good?
Yeah me too…but barely. I mean, what a fall from glory. It’s almost embarrassing to even talk about. Just think about the last 15 times Chubb dressed out:
- 2014 Missouri: 38 carries, 143 yards, 1 TD
- 2014 Arkansas: 30 carries, 202 yards, 2 TDs
- 2014 Florida: 21 carries, 156 yards, 1 TD
- 2014: Kentucky: 13 carries, 170 yards, 1 TD
- 2014 Auburn: 19 carries, 144 yards, 2 TDs
- 2014 Charleston Southern: 9 carries, 113 yards, 2 TDs
- 2014 Georgia Tech: 25 carries, 129 yards, 1 TD
- 2014 Louisville: 33 carries, 266 yards, 2 TDs
- 2015 Louisiana Monroe: 16 carries, 120 yards, 2 TDs
- 2015 Vanderbilt: 19 carries, 189 yards, 0 TDs
- 2015 South Carolina: 21 carries, 159 yards, 2 TDs
- 2015 Southern U: 15 carries, 131 yards, 2 TDs
- 2015 Alabama: 20 carries, 146 yards, 1 TD
- 2015 Tennessee: 1 carry, 2 yards, 0 TDs
- 2016 G-Day: 0 carries, 0 yards, 0 TDs
Obviously, he missed some time in there with a knee injury or whatever, but he was fully dressed out on Saturday. Just couldn’t find a spot on the field.
Probably because Brendan Douglas was playing so well. Not sure if anyone noticed, but nobody on the field could tackle Douglas. Pretty solid performance.
That’s all I got/