Is Georgia’s 2018 Recruiting Class the Single Most Over-Rated Thing in the History of Sports?


Welcome to the Kirby Smart Hater’s Guide to Georgia Bulldogs Football, where we give a voice to the fans who will never be happy with Kirby Smart at the helm in Athens.

Yesterday a bunch of manchildren signed their names on sheets of paper. What an incredible accomplishment! No one has ever seen anything like this. Sure, it happens every day in kindergarten classes across the country, but never before has such a worthy group of people gotten together and signed their names. I mean it was kind of cool when life insurance salesman John Hancock, brewmaster Samuel Adams and a bunch of other fathers founded America with the Declaration of Independence. But, boy…that time all those teenagers wrote their names in 2018 was way bigger. Committing to the G was a much bigger deal than De-committing from an oppressive English monarchy.

It’s really kind of pathetic when you think about it. The emphasis on Five Stars during the week of Christmas just shows how quickly this Georgia program has fallen away from its Mark Richt Era Christian roots. Any true biblical scholar (and Kirby Smart obviously is not one) can tell you that there was only one star that mattered at the original Christmas. Can you imagine how confusing that would have been for the Wise Men, the original lead recruiters, if they had to pursue five stars just to find a talented youngster. Personally, I don’t think that would have been feasible. What were they going to do—mix up the gold, frankincense and myrrh into a makseshift trailmix mumbo jumbo of gifts and split up? I don’t think so.

But who did Georgia actually sign? And will the Bulldogs get better? Let’s take a look at the “best of the best.”

Justin Fields, No. 1 QB in the Country, No. 2 Overall Player

If you have two five-star quarterbacks, you don’t have one. And now, Georgia has three. I can’t begin to imagine the challenge this is going to create for Jim Chaney. I bet his brain is a total pretzel right now, and for an apparent carb lover like Chaney that can’t be good. Seriously, he may eat through his own skull to get a bite of that pretzel brain if you tempt him with some melted cheese. Chaney already has one quarterback he doesn’t use (Jacob Eason) and one he doesn’t really trust (Jake Fromm). So the better quarterback (Eason threw for 2,430 yards as a freshman in 13 games, Fromm has thrown for 2,173 as a freshman in 13 games) sits on the bench while the lesser quarterback doesn’t really throw the football all that much (Eason attempted 60% more passes than Fromm as a freshman). I’m sure Justin Fields will really make the decision-making process more logical.

 

Zamir White, No. 1 RB in the Country, No. 6 Overall Player

Georgia always signs a lot of running backs. White and 4-star signee James Cook (the nation’s 3rd-best running back) represent an extension of that. But including these two fellows, Georgia has now signed five running backs in the past four classes. None of those players has ever run for 600 yards in a single season. Something tells me this White and Cook combo won’t be as successful as when Walter White was cooking meth.

 

Jamaree Salyer, No. 1 OG in the Country, No. 10 Overall Player

Salyer is a lose-lose signee for Chaney and offensive line coach Sam Pittman. Either he comes in and add values and all yesterday’s self-back-pats are proved worthwhile or he doesn’t. But if he jumps into the starting lineup then it’s time to address the elephants in the room: Georgia’s offensive line was trash in 2017. No self-respecting offensive lineman should ever lose his or her job to a freshman.

 

Cade Mays, No. 2 OT in the Country, No. 16 Overall Player

Everything I just said about Salyer still applies to Mays. Interesting that Georgia has been touting its “much-improved offensive line” all year and suddenly “has to have help on the offensive line.” This is just wishy washy. I haven’t seen people go back and forth with offensive lines since the time Mario Batali cooked dinner for Matt Lauer.

 

Adam Anderson, No. 1 OLB in the Country, No. 18 Overall Player

If Anderson is anything like the top OLB Georgia signed last year, we’re all in for a real treat. Jaden Hunter played in two games this year and has registered     .

That’s it. No stats were registered. But Georgia is really good at developing outside linebackers—just look at Roquan Smith. Roquan was the no. 5 OLB in his class. Now, just three years later, he plays a different position.

 

Brenton Cox, No. 2 SDE in the Country, No. 22 Overall Player

I actually really like Cox.

 

Georgia obviously signed a bunch of other scrubs too, but I wouldn’t count on any of them making an impact in the Playoff, so I’m not sure why you would care.

 

Be well,

The Kirby Smart Hater

 

 

 

 

Posted on December 21, 2017, in Blog, Georgia Bulldogs, SEC. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. YOU ARE NUTS Take me off your email list

  2. Satire at its best! Go dawgs!

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