The Kirby Smart Hater’s North Carolina Game Recap

How’s that fancy-ass special teams coach workin out for you, Kirby? What a glorious $300,000 mistake that was. Great call Kirby. You were so set on being the anti-Richt that you felt hiring an incompetent son-of-a-coach would check the vacancy at special teams coach and yield results. It yielded results alright. For the other team. North Carolina scored 24 points. Half of them came on Special Teams. That’s not good seeing as Special Teams is just one-third of the game. Hell of a hire, Kirbs.

But Kirby really figured out that passing game, didn’t he? What a mervelous job he did there. He added the most talented freshman in the country and said, “Hey you know what, you can’t be our starter.” Instead he started a dude who was only man enough to attempt eight passes. Greyson Lambert literally looked like a bug on his back for most of the game, but even bugs are able to move through the air sometimes. What was that? It wasn’t coaching. Oh, and Kirby is sticking to his guns (water guns, apparently) for week two against Nicholls State. Great call coach. Go with the who completed 62.5% of his passes instead of the guy who hit on 66.7%. Go with the guy who averaged 6.8 yards per attempt instead of the guy that average 10.9. Go with the guy that threw for zero touchdowns instead of the guy that threw one. Go with the guy with a 119.2 rating instead of the guy with a 185.9 rating. Go with the guy that was sacked three times instead of the guy that was sacked once. Go with the loser.

Where do we go next? It’s almost hard to know where to start so let’s just hit some high points:

  • Georgia did not convert a single fourth down attempt.
  • Georgia was out-rushed 5.6 yards per attempt to 8.4 yards per attempt.
  • Nine penalties for 70 yards? Good grief. Mark Richt called. He wants his “lost control” back.
  • Georgia lost the turnover battle and committed infinitely more turnovers.
  • Georgia only completed 13 total passes with two QBs. That’s 6.5 completions per passer. One North Carolina passer completed 24 passes.
  • Georgia’s best running back (Brian Herrian averaging 8.4 yards per attempt) only got seven carries. Meanwhile Nick Chubb got 32. Hmm…


Can’t wait till we start playing real teams. Those Kirb-stompings are gonna feel real great. Miss Richt yet?


-The Kirby Smart Hater


About robertpetrino

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Posted on September 7, 2016, in Blog, Georgia Bulldogs, SEC. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. You’re a moron and this site is a moron. You are a Mark Richt fan, not a UGA fan. You’re not fit to call yourself a UGA fan. Had Mark Richt been the coach, we would have lost that game once we got down. I also laugh at your criticism of Smart hiring a special teams coach when Richt was too incompetent and too stubborn to even hire a special teams coach, even when our special teams sucked. He was too busy doing backflips off the high dive.

  2. On the other hand, Kirby won a high profile opener against a ranked opponent and the team didn’t fall apart when they got behind.

  3. Who is this nut? Richt would have lost the game when they got behind. Completely different culture over there and will only get better.

  4. You are a disgrace to UGA go pull for Georgia Tech you are a loser!

  5. You are a disgrace to UGA go find another team loser.

  6. (As editor-in-chief here, I feel it is my duty to remind commentors that this is a parody post. A quite obvious one, at that.)

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