Week 4 National Recap: WTF Happened Yesterday?


Queue the whiny Rascal Flatts song they play on those SportsCenter “My Wish” segment.

My wish for you is that you were as uninhibited as I and got to see the absurd day of college football unravel.

Man, if that song gets stuck in your head, your day is ruined. Now I don’t have to suffer alone! (maniacal laughter) Thanks, 9am SportsCenter.

I really can’t blame you if you skipped out on college football after Georgia’s polite beatdown of Southern. There were a few compelling games, including two major SEC East shakedowns, but no appointment watches anywhere. Just good old-fashioned “well, this could be weird” games. OOOH THEY DID NOT DISAPPOINT. The highlights: there were three Southwest games further Southwest than the poorly-named “Southwest Classic” in Dallas, and the Big XII and Pac-12 stole the show into the wee hours.

Tennessee does it again: At this point, I’m just convinced they’re going to exorcise their big-game demons in two weeks. But seeing them find new ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory is joyous.

You can see that I didn’t really believe the initial tweet in this sequence.

Listen. I hate Florida with as much passion as the next Georgia fan. But I could watch this replay all damn day and never not get chills.

Texas A&M goes all morning commute on us. Stop, go. Fast start. Stall for the entire third quarter. Accelerate to the finish line. Miss the game-winning field goal. Score on the first play and beat an average Arkansas team in OT for the second straight year. Kevin Sumlin is living dangerously with this QB rotation, as Kyler Murray’s cameos just knock Kyle Allen (the far superior QB) out of rhythm. Let him sit back and chuck it to Christian Kirk. Or Josh Reynolds. Or Ricky Seals-Jones. Or Speedy Noil. Or (crap I can name more Texas A&M receivers than Georgia receivers).

LSU wins at Syracuse: Leonard Fournette had 200 more yards, but the Vine at the top of this post is what really matters.

TCU Finds Jesus in Lubbock: Gary Patterson’s teams have long had the reputation of having excellent defenses. Texas Tech D-coordinator David Gibbs was quoted on yesterday’s telecast stating “my job is to make sure our team has the ball with a chance to win late,” because the somber reality of living in West Texas probably crushes your spirit into a stasis in which mediocrity is success because there is no more positive reality in the vast expanses of the desert.

If that game and that finish weren’t peak Big XII enough for you, I offer this: apparently they throw tortillas onto the field at games in Lubbock. What a world.

Pour one out for Oregon. And Arizona State, while you’re at it. 

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Watching the second half of Oregon/Utah was the scene in a war movie where the protagonist goes down in battle, but does so in slow motion getting stabbed gratuitously by six or seven assailants. You just want the director to let him die, but he still has to utter blood-choking last words to his protege (who somehow escapes the menagerie of enemies, which is not the point).

When did it get gratuitous, you ask? About here:

No, that wasn’t it? The guy with the mace is going to cut his leg off? Okay then:

Utah bullied the bully. Now we get to hear how good Jim Harbaugh’s Michigan team is for only losing to the Utes by seven on the road. Damnit, Utah.

And I picked Arizona State to win the Pac-12 South AND their home date with USC on the Pick-Em. Damnit.

And finally…Texas may need Georgia’s special teams coach

I’ve lived through enough college football to see some absolute atrocities. Moments where you can go from joyous to catatonic to “what the f*** just happened” and back to catatonic based on the actions, decisions, and nerves of 18-to-22 year-olds. Well, take that moment, and remove the joy, because there is no joy in Texas football (and if there were, Steve Patterson would’ve found a way to monetize it). Situation: tie game, punt the ball away, go to overtime. Easy, right? Nope.

About Chadwick

Enjoyer of adventure, would support a Trump policy that requires a minimum IQ to tweet. @Chad_Floyd for fun, @ChadFloydKW for real estate.

Posted on September 27, 2015, in Blog. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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