Georgia Football: Nick Chubb vs. Herschel and Mark Richt’s Hot Seat, Storylines I Don’t Have to Write About
As the token I’m-not-really-writing-about-football-anymore-but-I’m-gonna-write-about-football guy here, let me tell you about the 10 storylines I’m ecstatic to not cover this August.
10. Mark Richt’s Hot Seat: Guess what. That sumbitch hot every year. It doesn’t cool off when other teams win. It doesn’t cool off when the Brinks truck backs up to pay assistants. It doesn’t matter.
9. Nick Chubb vs. Herschel Walker: Nick Chubb isn’t Herschel Walker. And that’s fine. Because Herschel Walker may be a lot of people, but he’s not Nick Chubb. Next.
8. Jeremy Pruitt’s Second Year: Units get better with continual work. That’s it. They also get better when playing with the players recruited by the coordinator. That’s also it. Need I say more?
7. Georgia Went Swimming Today: That’s gonna happen. When it does, you’ll see big boys jumping off diving boards. Mark Richt will do a backflip and there will be a picture of it. #RichtPics
6. Pass Rushers 4 Dayz: Leonard Floyd. Jordan Jenkins. Lorenzo Carter. Leonard Jenkins. Jordan Carter. Lorenzo Floyd. Jordan Floyd. Lorenzo Jenkins. Leonard Carter. Georgia has so many big, rangy, athletic pass-rushers. They were good last year and some were good the year before that and even the year before that. But will they be good this year? Only time will tell…
5. Hurt Player X (or Y or Z)’s Long Road Back: Tell me more about how it’s difficult to come back from a major knee injury. I was unaware.
4. Brandon Kublanow is the Center of the Offense: Spoiler: he has already won the job. Spoiler: he’s not David Andrews. Spoiler: he’ll be fine with 55 starts around him in the form of John Theus, Kolton Houston, Greg Pyke and Isaiah Wynn.
3. Terry Godwin Ahead of and/or Behind Schedule: He’s a gamer. Let’s watch a dawgdamn game before we give him a Biletnikoff or label him as overrated. If you want me to read about wide receivers, write this article: 10 Easy Ways to Remember How to Spell “Biletnikoff.”
2. Brian Schottenheimer is Laid-back, Likable and Theoretically Knows Football: Oh! Brilliant!
1. Georgia Still Hasn’t Named a QB Starter: I. Can’t. Even. Hell, I refuse to even. The only thing worse than these B.S. articles is that they’ll all be written by guys who wrote and/or Tweeted yesterday that we won’t know who the starter is until Week 1.
That’s all I got/