Monthly Archives: April 2015

Georgia Football: Little Brother Syndrome Strikes

Every year, around Tech game, we do the good work on this site to remind you that UGA/GT is NOT a rivalry. At all. A rivalry requires both parties to be equally invested in the outcome of a contest, and this hasn’t been the case for years. Every year, we are inundated by Tech fans who disagree with our assessment, and disregard the number of times we mention Tech outside of Tech week (it’s always zero). Today, their argument was rendered moot, and their status as little brother forever enshrined in…whatever material this is.

This is the Techiest thing that ever Teched.

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air. Follow me at @dpalm66.

DYC NBA Award Season

Earlier this year, I broke down the 2/3 Awards for the NBA and talked about the biggest stories of the year so far. Well, since then, all the important stories can fall under two umbrellas: Season Ending Awards and Playoffs. I’ll be making some officially official prognostications later on today, but before we get to the business of collectively losing money, I thought it’d be nice to circle the wagons with everyone else on the site who cares about the NBA, and is just as excited as me for the Playoffs. How excited?

That excited.

With that gif shared, here are Chad and I’s picks for All-NBA Teams, and all the individual awards for the 2014-2015 NBA season.

All-NBA Teams

Every year, the Illuminati assign 126 media members vote on three All-NBA Teams, as a way to chronicle the season. And while everyone remembers the big individual awards, the All-NBA Teams have been traditionally considered the best way to get a full snap shot of the year that was. For this, we’ll be sharing Chad’s ballot, followed by my ballot, followed by me ridiculing Chad’s ballot. Fun times!

First Team

Chad: Stephen Curry G, Russell Westbrook G, LeBron James F, Anthony Davis F, LaMarcus Aldridge C

Daniel: Stephen Curry G, James Harden G, LeBron James F, Anthony Davis F, Marc Gasol C

Second Team

Chad: Chris Paul G, James Harden G, Jimmy Butler F, Al Horford F, DeMarcus Cousins C

Daniel: Chris Paul G, Russell Westbrook G, LaMarcus Aldridge F, Paul Milsap F, Tim Duncan C

Third Team

Chad: Kyrie Irving G, Klay Thompson G, Blake Griffin F, Kawhi Leonard F, Marc Gasol C

Daniel: Kyrie Irving G, John Wall G, Blake Griffin F, Kawhi Leonard F, Al Horford C

This list was sent by Chad, along with the following disclaimer:

“Palmer wouldn’t let me count James Harden as a swingman, which is a load of horsecrap, and I’m a Bane Westbrook apologist for life.”

Ahem. I didn’t let him count Harden as a wing player because he’s CLEARLY a point guard/shooting guard/only source of offense for his team, especially with the late season loss of Patrick Beverley and the non-existence of Dwight this year. No matter how blatantly we played with positions here, I had to draw a line with Harden. That said, there are 20 versions of my list where I eschew the seemingly hometown choice of Horford for the transcendent years from Boogie and DeAndre Jordan.

I left Cousins off because of inconsistency that was not of his own doing; the Kings front office is why he’s on the outside looking in. Blame them Mr. Cousins, they did this. And leaving off DeAndre Jordan is one part a middle finger to his hyperbole prone coach, and one part appreciative head nod to what Al has brought to his squad coming off injury. Besides, the Hawks went all year with no one ever scoring more than 30 points in a game, so it feels right to honor them here.

End of Season Awards

The sad part about these awards is that Chad and I agree on all of them. Either he’s getting smarter or I’m getting…Chad-ier. Either way, it makes me nervous. Like the 2/3 awards, we’re going to hand out the hardware, list the other contenders, and make cases where need be.

MVP: Stephen Curry (Runners-Up: James Harden, Chris Paul, LeBron James, Anthony Davis )

If Chad were writing this, there’s no way that Westbrook gets left of the runners-up list because he’s manically obsessed with making sure Russy gets his due respect. But the MVP race doesn’t go to a single-minded force who failed to drag his team kicking and screaming into the playoffs. It doesn’t go to the young player who saved his coach’s job (along with a good chunk of the front office) by getting his team an 8 seed (Davis). It doesn’t go to the consensus best player on the planet when he takes a two week break mid season (James). And it doesn’t go to a player who while still being the best point guard alive, kept a poorly constructed team together in the midst of losing their second best player, and armed with no bench at all (Paul).

No, the term valuable this season goes to the two most outstanding performers on two of the best teams all year. Both were integral parts of their offense, with Harden being Houston’s literal only option on the offensive side, and Curry masterminding an offensive hydra that blew teams away by a historic margin. Some would argue that Harden had the harder task carrying the Rockets’ injury plagued, poorly shooting roster to it’s final tally of 55 wins, but you risk underselling just how important Curry is to the Warriors attack.

Both stepped up in different ways defensively for their squads. You done laughing? Well finish, I’ve got more words to throw at your face. Curry found great pride in his improved ability, fitting in beautifully one an underrated defensive juggernaut. While Harden hasn’t quite had the renaissance that Curry has on the defensive end, he’s no longer the source of nearly hourly Reddit examinations of how one player can be so bad at defense. He’s still not Scottie Pippen, but considering the energy he has to expend to keep this squad in games with his scoring, I’m surprise we haven’t seen this James all year.

Both players have stand out highlights, and a case can be made for either. But I’ll be dammed if a team can finish with 67 wins, and you don’t recognize the best player on that team.

Defensive Player of the Year: Draymond Green (Runners-Up: Kawhi Leonard, DeAndre Jordan)

That suffocating team defense the Warriors employed that I just referenced? None of it runs without Draymond Green. None of it. He’s the anchor that makes the 67 wins possible, and he can defend 1-5 with little to no drop off. His ability to stymie true centers has allowed the Warriors to play their best brand of basketball with a smaller line up, and see absolutely no drop off in defensive efficiency. As offenses get more mature, look for other teams to mimic the switching, swarming defense Golden State employs. Related: Draymond Green is a restricted free agent this summer. Draymond Green is going to be RICH.

Rookie of the Year: Andrew Wiggins (Runners-Up: Alternate Universe Jabari Parker, Nikola Mirotic)

Any further questions?

Sixth Man of the Year: Isaiah Thomas (Runners-Up: Jamal Crawford, Lou Williams)

We agreed that getting traded mid-season because other players hated you and doing your work for the award only since February 19th would not preclude him from winning this. What? They’re our awards.

Most Improved Player of the Year: Klay Thompson (Runners-Up: Rudy Gobert, Jimmy Butler)

Three Warriors taking home hardware? Three Warriors taking home hardware. The media may not agree with us, but I’ll be interested to see what the inaugural Player’s Association Awards give us.

Coach of the Year: Mike Budenholzer (Runners-Up: FOH)

Ain’t even a race. He won 60 games. With the Hawks. SIXTY.

We’ll be back later today with a full first round playoff preview.

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air. Follow me at @dpalm66.


Georgia Recruiting: Quarterback Jacob Eason Will Not Win a Championship as Explained by the Mark Richt Hater

This is the part where I pretend I’ve been here all Spring and we ignore the fact that I missed the annual March Madness Pick ‘Em Contest and the bulk of spring practice while my wife popped out a baby. I guess this is also the part where I fess up to being the satirical voice behind the Mark Richt Hater. Let’s do this…


Marky Mark got him a good one.

Jacob Eason.

Mr. Everything. Five-star this. Five-star that. A cannon made of brushed platinum (because regular old platimum is too flashy) for an arm. Good size. Good feet. A good head on his shoulders. This is why Marky Mark is the best in tbe biz. Mark Richt turns elite prospects into national championships.

Except when he doesn’t. Except for every single year ever. I feel like I’ve seen this play out before. An elite quarterback coming to Georgia and failing to win a Natty? I guess we better get used to it because the Jacob Eason story has already been written.

Jacob Eason is David Greene with a less colorful name.

Jacob Eason is D.J. Shockley but slow AF.

Jacob Eason is Blake Barnes without the alliteration.

Jacob Eason is Joe Tereshinski without lineage.

Jacob Eason is Matthew Stafford without a keg.

Jacob Eason is Joe Cox with less fiery hair.

Jacob Eason is Aaron Murray throwing a football at a beer can on Spring Break but with fewer fans.

Jacob Eason is Christian LeMay without religious affiliation.

Jacob Eason is Hutson Mason except…wait nobody is as bad as Hutson Mason.

Jacob Eason is Faton Bauta, Brice Ramsey and Jacob Park rolled into one quarterback named Fatramjac except younger.

Haven’t we seen this before? Big-time quarterback make a big-time mistake by trusting Mark Richt because he’s such a nice guy. Mark Richt squanders talent and loses to terrible teams. I’ve seen this. You’ve seen this. Everybody’s seen this except Butts-Mehre.

Poor Jacob.


-The Mark Richt Hater



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Depressing and Obligatory: A 2015 Atlanta #BARVES Preview

Last year, the only baseball writing on this site was a #BARVES preview, wherein I explained what #BARVESing was. The only feedback received was from another DudeYouCrazy staffer’s mother, who questioned whether I was dyslexic in saying BARVES instead of Braves, the name donned on the home white jerseys.

Well, I was right to do so, as the team #BARVESED its way to an 11-22 finish, averaging about two runs per game with what was, on paper, a formidable lineup.

That lineup is gone, and 2015 will be the year of even more #BARVES. Gone are the bats of Justin Upton, Jason Heyward, and Evan Gattis. They will all be replaced by guys who are projected to finish in the bottom third of the league in hitting competency. Interim GM John Hart won’t commit to rebuilding, operating under the guise that the team will contend this year. Don’t be fooled, this team is going to suck out loud.

Potential Bright Spots

The Braves did manage to keep a young, team-controlled core intact despite the winter fire sale. Julio Teheran, Shelby Miller, and former Bulldog Alex Wood should anchor a young rotation that will have to overachieve yet again for the Braves to crack 70 wins. First baseman Freddie Freeman will draw a TON of walks, given his slow baserunning and the utter lack of competent hitters surrounding him in the lineup. And shortstop Andrelton Simmons will be Ozzie Smith-esque in the field again, even if he can’t really hit.

Closer Craig Kimbrel returns, but paying $10 million for a closer on a bad team seems foolish. I relegate him to the second (and final) graf of potential bright spots, because logic dictates (and prays) that he will be traded for some almost-MLB-ready bats to a team desperate for a closer at the trade deadline.

And that’s it! The Gwinnett Braves are your best bet to find guys who may help the team in the future, as highly-rated prospects such as trade returns SP Mike Foltyniwecz (sp?), 3B Rio Ruiz, and UTIL Jace Peterson, as well as future 2B Jose Peraza, will be honing their crafts in Lawrenceville. Hey, beer is cheaper at minor league games.


Everywhere. With Mike Minor starting the season on the DL, the pitching staff will rely on old castoffs by the name of Eric Stults and Wandy Rodriguez as starters for a good bit of the season. I had never heard of these two gentlemen prior to reading a few previews to get me amped for this post. And this on the team’s strength.

Left Field, Center Field, 3rd base, 2nd base, Catcher: manned by guys the casual fan has never heard of, except for Chris Johnson at 3rd. Johnson plays a laughable defensive hot corner, and his bat in no way compensates. LF and CF will be manned by guys named Eric Young Jr., Eury Perez, Todd Cunningham, and Zolio Almonte, all low-ceiling guys, most cast off by New York teams (Cunningham was a Braves draft pick, but the rest are all former Mets/Yankees. If those anemic teams can’t use them, surely the #BARVES can.) Melvin (erstwhile B.J.) Upton will actually represent an upgrade when he returns from injury. The same B.J. who, by all statistical measures, has been the worst everyday player in the league for the past two years running. Yeah.

Manager: Fredi Gonzalez and his “I don’t think he sucks, he just needs more at-bats” managerial style are back for a fourth (and hopefully last) season of mind-numbingly poor decisions. His mismanagement of bullpen innings, ignorance of rudimentary stats such as on-base percentage, and overall ineptitude have been the common denominator of the team’s downfall for each of the past three seasons.

This Season is a Success If…

I want to say if the team finishes ahead of the Phillies and avoids last place, but I think I’d rather have the high draft pick in 2016.

If the front office stops deluding itself into thinking the team is actually capable of making a push for the playoffs and trades Kimbrel for a good return, I can get on board with the Cobb County Braves in 2017 being decent. Otherwise, the team is going all 2000 Hawks and running in place.


That’s all I have. I’ll still be a fan, because Tuesday night games on $4 Stubhub tickets in the Chophouse are peak Atlanta summertime existence. But if you’re looking for winning baseball (let’s be honest, nobody watches baseball on TV anyway), I’d suggest an MLB Extra Innings subscription.


DudeYouPolitickin: The NCAA Has A Chance to Actually Get Something Right

We can do something wrong a thousand times but there will always be that one time where we fall over bass-ackwards into doing the right thing.

The NCAA has that chance this week in Indiana.

If you have ears and live on Earth you have probably heard about Indiana’s freshly minted “Religious Freedom Restoration Act” which was recently signed into law by Indiana Governor Mike Pence. I say you’ve heard about it because it caused a backlash rivaled only by that time people couldn’t see a dress was black and blue. [WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOUR EYES]

Those on the left decried the possibilities for blatant discrimination, particularly against the LGBT community, the vaguely written law would allow. Those on the right didn’t appreciate being called discriminatory and insisted that this was about protecting religious freedom. Those in the center either got outraged by the decline of decent political rhetoric or outraged over the fact that there is outrage on the internet at all.

Into this wondrously volatile powder-keg of political discourse stepped the hero we never deserved or needed, the NCAA.

While you might imagine this would have only made things worse, the NCAA actually had some good things to say about the situation and seems poised to affect the passing of major revisions to the RFRA. Those revisions, according to the Indiana Star, were put on Mike Pence’s desk this morning and would explicitly protect against discrimination against LGBT folk in Indiana.

Speaking to the New York Times, Mark Emmert, President of the NCAA, said the following: “We communicated our deep concern for our ability to maintain a diverse work force and also to support our own membership values.” Now that might seem like a bit of a weak quote but it has to have the Indiana legislature pretty rattled seeing as the NCAA has its headquarters in Indianapolis and Indianapolis will also host the Men’s and Women’s Final Fours this year and next year. If Indiana can’t find a way to assure Emmert and the NCAA that their employees won’t be the victims of discrimination in their home state then it would seem the NCAA has cause to move elsewhere. Furthermore, and this is what really terrifies Governor Pence, this would mean that the NCAA has cause to move the Final Four out of Indiana permanently. That’s a lot of money flying out the door.

The NFL–committed to being the amoral mayonnaise sandwich that doesn’t really care what you do so long as you make them money–has declined to comment on whether or not the Combine, Super Bowl, or Franchise known as the “Colts” will still remain in Indianapolis or not.

Now, my vitriol in that last sentence probably clues you in to my opinion on the law. It is obviously just my opinion and you can have your own about the law or its implications. Just so we’re clear though, my opinion is that the law was a really poorly timed effort to pass legislation that wasn’t really necessary, and then the legislation that was passed was so damn vague as to allow for the possibility of a great many things that none of us want to see, like discrimination against LGBT people. And no matter what political party you belong to, I think we can all agree that if you give human beings license to do bad stuff there will be at least one asshole who does that bad thing.

So the NCAA, even though they are all about doing lots of bad bad things, has this one chance to actually do something right and leverage their money-making machine’s power to get some needed protections passed so that everyone is happy. Religious people (like me, btw) will be able to freely practice their religion without interference (even though they could probably do that anyway) and LGBT people won’t get discriminated against (even though there will still be jerks that do that anyway cuz they’re jerks).

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I fully support what the NCAA is doing in this situation.

I know it’s April Fools but I really mean that.

Ok, I’m gonna go shower now.

P.S. if I’ve offended you because I disagreed with you politically I encourage you to go look at these puppy pictures as they will make you feel better. Lots of love for you, reader. Please come back.



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