The DudeYouCrazy Bowl Game Viewing Guide, Vol. 1
Jeepers, there are too many bowls.
I really have no good way to present this to you in a manner that will excite you, and my only hope of Bowl Viewing Guide Vol. 1 not falling on blind eyes is that you share our obsession with amateur football’s highest level (and/or the betting thereof).
Week 1 is intended only to give you a solid excuse to sit in a recliner, drink bourbon, and ignore your siblings’ children. With one ranked team (Utah, at 22) and one Power 5 team (again Utah, of the Pac-12), these games are good for absolutely nothing else.
Saturday, Dec 20
Nevada (7-5) vs. Louisiana-Lafayette (8-4), New Orleans Bowl, 11AM, ESPN: Wait. The bowl game located in NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA starts at 10am local time? Even seasoned revelers such as all Louisianans and people from Reno won’t make kickoff for that.
Utah State (9-4) vs. UTEP (7-5), New Mexico Bowl, 2:20, ESPN: Ranked the bowl season’s least watchable bowl by SBNation’s Bill Connelly. Utah State was shut out by Tennessee before Chuckie Keeton went down with injury, so I can’t figure their third stringer is much count. I got nothing.
#22 Utah (8-4) vs. Colorado State (10-2), Las Vegas Bowl, 3:30, ABC: Luckily, the New Mexico Bowl is paired on TV with the best matchup of the day. Utah’s defensive line is a havoc-creating problem, and Colorado State is explosive even without new Florida coach Jim McIlwain. Rams WR Rashard Higgins, he of 1640 receiving yards this year, is the best player you’ve never heard of.
Western Michigan (8-4) vs. Air Force (9-3), Idaho Potato Bowl, 5:45, ESPN: According to the same article linked above, this is the third-most even bowl matchup. I feel like Boise is just the place for a five-overtime meaningless bowl game.
South Alabama (6-6) vs. Bowling Green (9-4), Camellia Bowl, 9:15, ESPN: So, a team that goes 5-3 in the Sun Belt gets in over an 8-0 Georgia Southern? Go away, NCAA. Well, Southern doesn’t have to travel to Montgomery, AL for the inaugural Camellia Bowl (spoken in ‘Gone With The Wind’ accent).
Monday, Dec 22
BYU (8-4) vs. Memphis (9-3), Miami Beach Bowl, 2:00, ESPN: The ‘Monday while people are still working during the week of Christmas game’, this game is played on the gravesite of the Orange Bowl, at… MARLINS PARK!
This game becomes must-see TV if this abomination goes off for touchdowns. Oh, and Memphis is pretty good.
Marshall (12-1) vs. Northern Illinois (11-2), Boca Raton Bowl, 6:00, ESPN: Boca Raton, FL, population 84,392, has a bowl game between two conference champions in its first year.
The first annual DudeYouCrazy.net bowl is accepting sponsorship bids now. We can seat about 9,000 at Grady High School. The game will be played in the coveted 2:15am timeslot, and ESPN WILL CARRY IT!
(This is actually the most compelling game on this list, I think.)
Navy (7-5) vs. San Diego State (7-5), San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, 9:30, ESPN: You may notice that I typed the sponsor’s whole title for the first time here. That’s because the San Diego County Credit Union feels its clients need a bowl game in their honor. San Diego is absolutely one of two cities (Miami being the other) in the U.S. where this is deemed acceptable.
Wednesday, Dec 24
Central Michigan (7-5) vs. Western Kentucky (7-5), Bahamas (!!!) Bowl, noon, ESPN: Two directional midwestern state schools get to travel to the Bahamas. Customs agents in the Central time one, that white powder is NOT tarmac snow.
Fresno State (6-7) vs. Rice (7-5), Hawai’i Bowl, 8:00, ESPN: Christmas Eve is definitely the destination bowl game day of the year. Perfect background fodder to which one blacks out on eggnog. No, Fresno’s record is not a typo. They now join Georgia Tech as the only teams with losing records to participate in bowl games, a distinction I hate seeing the Jackets lose.
All told, these games rank 38, 36, 32, 30, 29, 27, 16, and 13 on Connelly’s rankings. DRAMA!
We’ll be back for the post-Christmas/still-not-great games next week.