NFL Football: Florida Hate Week + Week 9 Picks
If you’re up to date with the not-yet award winning Dude You Podcast, then you know how lukewarm this hate week has been for me. Not because I don’t hate Florida, never that; this is a school that ruined my childhood of Georgia fandom. I was pretty sure that it was a rule that Georgia lose this game until I was about 20, and by then, I had the warm embrace of alcohol to numb the sadness. We sit on the cusp of not only an expected strong showing against the school in Gainesville, but for an opportunity to produce secure a senior class that has NEVER lost to Florida.
Read that again. N-E-V-E-R. 16 year old Daniel’s head just exploded.
Georgia stealing one of these games used to be a rarity, and last night, Jason and I (Run The Pod) basically joked about margin of victory after he went on one of his patented ridiculous fan fiction stories outlining how Florida can win this game. So, please recognize that my lukewarm approach to #FloridaHateWeek is not a dimming of passion against the Gators, oh no. It’s more a quiet recognition that I’m screaming into the abyss that has become the Florida fan base. Whether it’s ones who can write (Spencer Hall) or ones who shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard (twitter), the reaction from Florida faithful has been somewhere between apathy and openly cheering against their team. Hey Florida fans, can you at least fake it so that I don’t feel like we’re all on the same team? Takes all the fun out of beating you.
Well, not ALL the fun. ON TO THE PICKS.
As always, home team is in bold.
Panthers (-3) over Saints
That thing little kids do to make a fart noise by blowing against their hand? That’s the sound of the NFC South.
Browns (-6.5) over Buccaneers
In winning this bet, please be sure not to be exposed directly to the NFC South. These warnings are for your own well being.
Cardinals (+4) over Cowboys
Time to play Who is Going to Ruin this Cowboys Season? Early leader is Jerry Jones in the being Jerry Jones division, but let’s not forget Tony Romo’s Back, Jason Garret’s Gingerness and the fact that Brandon Weedon might be involved in some of these upcoming games. You can play at home too! Just remember, Jerry Jones being Jerry Jones is undefeated for like 20 years now.
Eagles (-2) over Texans
You’ve really got to ask your self if getting Clowney back offsets trotting out Ryan Harvard Fitzpatrick again this week. I think not. #SafetySchool EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL.
Chiefs (-9.5) over Jets
How does Rex Ryan still have a job? I mean, I’m not great at this, but it’s not technically a job. Still, if I showed the general lack of competency week after week, the Dude would either sit me down to fix things, or just change the site password so I couldn’t post. This isn’t a shot at Chad’s DudeYouGamblin posts, but it’s not not a shot at Chad’s DudeYouGamblin posts.
Bengals (-11) over Jags
Rough week for the people of Jacksonville. First they get to watch a man get fired on the field (sorry Will!) but then they get treated to watching their hometeam get beat up by the Bungals. Good times!
Dolphins (-2.5) over Chargers
West coast playing an early game back east. Old gambling trick.
Vikings (EVEN) over Washington Professional Football Team
I got in a real life conversation with a mouth-breather regarding the name of Washington’s football team, and if your best defense is, ‘this is the way it’s always been done,’ then congrats on being the NCAA.
Niners (-10) over Rams
Please don’t gamble on this game.
Patriots (+3) over Broncos
THIS is a marquee matchup that should probably be in primetime so I could bet on Peyton and not watch it. Now I honestly have no idea what’s going to happen, but I have learned my lesson about betting against the Pats at home this season.
Seahawks (-15) over Raiders
Ravens (-2) over Steelers
I know it’s not logical to think that Ben threw all his touchdowns last week, but you can’t prove it’s not true.
Colts (-3) over Giants
Don’t watch this game. Watch Killer Mike give you advice on life. First time I clicked on this video, I thought it would be a joke too, but it’s actually just legit life advice.
Last Week: 9-6
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