Schadenfruede Alerts All Over the Country: Your Week 9 Viewing Guide


Hustling through this because its currently 11:15 and this is supposed to go live in 20 minutes… shoddy scheduling on my part this week.

Thursday Thrillers

And by ‘thrillers’, I mean in the Halloween way, not the games themselves:

1) Miami at Virginia Tech, 8, ESPN: Oh, the ACC Coastal. Coastal

Seriously though, that’s amazing. Only Georgia Tech among these seven has played more than three conference games, and the transitive property has eaten the whole division. GET YOUR FLORIDA STATE vs. <insert 7-5 team here> TICKETS NOW!

2) Connecticut at #18 ECU, 7, ESPNU: ECU in the AAC feels like they’re swimming way out of their depth based on opponent cache alone, but they’re really, REALLY fun to watch and could be a (whatever they call the BCS 6 now) bowl buster.

FRIDAY FREAKISHNESS

1) #6 Oregon at Cal, 10, FS1: The over/under on total yards for this game has to be in the 1600 range. We know what Oregon does, but what Cal does is even more impressive. They gave up 723 passing yards and WON a game this year, took UCLA to the wire, and have hung (and given up) 50 on about everyone. This is football on crack.

2) BYU at Boise (9, ESPN) and USF at Cincinnati (7, ESPN2) exist for people with no life. Of which I hope I’m not one with this oncoming cold.

NOONS OVER MY HAMMY

This is the most deplorable noon slate of the college football season, I think. A total of two ranked teams, one of whom doesn’t count because B1G.

1) Texas at #11 Kansas State (12, ESPN): Texas schadenfruede is always fun, Bill Snyder is always heartwarming, and…Texas schadenfruede is always fun.

2) Rutgers at #16 Nebraska (12, ESPN2): What’s more vomit-inducing: including this game on the viewing guide, or cheering for Rutgers to further destroy the B1G’s rep? I don’t know and I don’t want to know, but I suppose we can all laugh that the state universities of New Jersey and Nebraska are in the same athletic conference.

Beyond: Nothing really. Like at all. UNC at UVA intrigues only me, and I realize that. UAB at Arkansas is on the SECN and may draw an eyeball or two. Just stay away.

HEY TV PEOPLE, ALL OF THESE WOULD BE NOON HEADLINERS

There’s a lot of good, not great, viewing interest for the 3:30’s, but we need TV execs to balance their stuff out a little better.

1) Michigan at #8 Michigan State (3:30, ABC): For pure “what will Brady Hoke do to get himself and the AD’s asses canned this week?” purposes.

2) #1 Mississippi State at Kentucky (3:30, CBS): Just like we predicted in the preseason. I guess we cheer for MSU to eliminate the BlueCats.

3) #22 West Virginia at Oklahoma State (3:30, ESPN): My two favorite likely-to-find-meth-den Power Five cities face off in a game between teams we forget about now but will randomly be playing for the XII title in a month.

4) Georgia Tech at Pitt (3:30 ESPNU): See chart above, insert ‘watching GT lose in front of 25k fans’, and enjoy watching the world burn in the stadium where….well, that’s happened before:

5) Missouri at Vanderbilt (4, SECN): Pure, unadulterated unintentional comedy potential.

THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT

Seriously. All of the good SEC games are under the lights.

1) #3 Ole Miss at #24 LSU (7:15, ESPN): Again begs the question “How is LSU ranked?”, but that’s neither here nor there, I guess. Tuning in to continue my unhealthy man crush on Mississippi’s D.

2) #4 Alabama at Tennessee (7:30, ESPN2): Pure. Lane. Kiffin. Knoxville. Comedy. Gold.

3) #20 USC at #19 Utah (10, FS1): I’m interested in seeing if Utah is actually good or not, and bipolar USC is totally not the opponent for me to make this determination.

4) South Cack at #5 Auburn (7:30, SECN): So…uh…do we…cheer for SC in this game? I think we do! (Vomits up blood) GO COCKS!

5) #13 Ohio State at Penn State (8, ABC): Go Pedobears, please kill this discussion of tOSU in the CFP with fire.

 

ENJOY THE GAMES, Y’ALL!

About Chadwick

Enjoyer of adventure, would support a Trump policy that requires a minimum IQ to tweet. @Chad_Floyd for fun, @ChadFloydKW for real estate.

Posted on October 23, 2014, in ACC, Alabama, Arkansas, Arkansas, Auburn, Big 10, Big 12, Blog, College Football Viewing Guide, Florida State, Georgia Tech, Kentucky, LSU, Michigan, Mississippi State, Missouri, North Carolina, Ohio State, Ole Miss, Oregon, Pac-12, SEC, South Carolina Gamecocks, Tennessee, Vanderbilt. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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