Todd Gurley, Autographs and the Dumb Things You Can Now Slap People for Saying

This post is probably too little too late.  After more than four days of “no news” not equating to “good news,” the Todd Gurley stories, hot takes and opinions have either grown cold or left you hardened—or maybe both.  Nonetheless, at this late juncture here is a somewhat comprehensive list of narratives dumb enough to be slap-worthy.  Warning: Snark lies ahead.


“Well, let’s wait on the facts.”

That’s a grand idea.

We, the fans/writers/whatever, after all are going to be tasked with making decisions regarding a student-athlete’s eligibility and good standing.  We, therefore, should wait on the fact before moving forward with any semblance of decisiveness.  Yes, let’s wait on the facts.  After all, it would be fanatical for fans to have a conversation about what losing their team’s best player might mean on the football field.  Fans are not fanatics. 

It would be even more ridiculous for someone to draw hypothetical conclusions and question the broader-scale legitimacy of the NCAA and its pantomimed enforcement of clownish rules.  Let’s not do that.

To date, there obviously have not been facts to be had.  Most likely Georgia suspended its first legitimate Heisman candidate in over 30 years on a hunch.  You have to go with your gut in such situations, so there couldn’t possibly be facts established prior to Gurley’s suspension.  We shouldn’t make any sort of educated guess based on the University’s action.

We wait on for those damned facts.


“Dumb or not, rules are still rules.”

And stupid is as stupid does.


I’m not firmly in the “rules are made to be broken” camp, but I am of the “stupid rules are broken” and “if it is broke, let’s fix it” camps.  Not with me?  Here’s a picture.


All I do is Venn, Venn, Venn no matter what.  Got circles on my mind, I can never get enough.

All I do is Venn, Venn, Venn no matter what. Got circles on my mind, I can never get enough.



In any event, the very notion that a scandal can center upon the signature on a non-contractual item is laughable to anyone not familiar with college athletics.  Seriously, tell that crap to a kindergartner learning to write his or her name.  “Oh great job, kiddo.  You just did what Todd Gurley did to get in trouble. I hope you never make money with that name of yours.”  It makes no sense.

If you are firmly of the “rules are rules” ideology, I wonder how you explain the founding of our nation.  “No taxation without representation, unless it’s already a rule!” makes for one hell of a battle cry, doesn’t it?  Beyond that, keep in mind that the NCAA isn’t even governmental in its legitimacy.  See what you’ve done?  I’ve just called government more legitimate than another institution.  How is this even possible?


“But Jameis Winston will play, I bet.”

I’ll admit, I bought into this narrative for a second.  I think I even retweeted it a time or two.  But it’s so completely and fundamentally flawed that I can’t even…

Comparing Jameis Winston to Todd Gurley is like comparing apples to tigers.  They’re not even in the same category.  Sure, both players play football at a high level.  But we’re not talking about them as football players.  We’re talking about them as potential subjects of punishment.  There is nothing—NOTHING—that can legitimize the theory that Florida State University and the University of Georgia would handle any type of disciplinary action in the same manner.  Nothing.

I would make a comprehensive list of  potential infractions that would keep Jameis Winston off the field if he played at Georgia but wouldn’t even show up on FSU’s radar, but I only get 13,312 MB of storage from WordPress.

To be sure, some of this is a cheap shot at the Seminoles.  But some of it is based simply on the fact that both schools have different honor codes, drug policies, rules for student-athletes, etc.


“Gurley practiced, so we’re good.”

Suspended players practice all the time.  And last time I checked his suspension is “indefinite.”  Why would he not be practicing?

Somewhere along the way the word “indefinite” changed in definition from “lasting for an undetermined amount of time” to “lasting forever.”  I didn’t change that definition.  Did you?  Did Greg McGarity?  I don’t think so.  If he did, I missed that press release.

Todd Gurley is currently suspended for an undetermined amount of time.  Maybe that suspension will last one game.  Maybe it will last a trillion games.  We just don’t know.  But on the chance that the suspension only lasts one, two, three, four, five, six or seven games, why wouldn’t you let him practice?  If nothing else he can prep your defense for two (actually three) really talented Arkansas Razorback running backs.



Hang in there folks.  Wait for the facts.  Remember, rules are rules and it’s bogus that those rules don’t apply to Jameis Winston.  But on the bright side, Gurley practiced yesterday.



That’s all I got/




Looking for highlights of happier times in Georgia football?  Download The UGA Vault for FREE!

About dudeyoucrazy

College Football Writer

Posted on October 14, 2014, in Blog, Georgia Bulldogs, SEC, The UGA Vault. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. What we need to be investigating is ties between Greg McGarity and Bryan Allen. No guilt has been established so no NCAA suspension has been levied. So why are Greg McGarity and Bryan Allen so hell bent on affecting the outcome of games? Gambling ties?

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: