Gurley, Autographs, Muschamp, Drinking Contests and the End of the Richt Era – Here’s The Conspiracy
This is the brainchild of perverse conversations between myself, Jason Smith and Daniel Palmer.
Here’s how we got here and where we’re headed:
- Greg McGarity and Will Muschamp bump into each other at a Shoney’s in 2006. Bromance sets in, a plan is planned.
- McGarity returns to his alma mater, the University of Georgia, in 2010 as athletic director.
- Muschamp takes a head “coaching” job at Florida in 2011.
- Todd Gurley arrives at Georgia to play football in 2012.
- In 2012, McGarity introduces Gurley to a Florida alum who collects autographs.
- In 2013, said Florida alum stalks Gurley at the request of McGarity.
- In 2013, Muschamp loses a ton of football games at the request of no one.
- In 2014, McGarity comments to Gurley’s friends about how much of a mooch he is.
- Later that year, Todd’s friends stand up for themselves. “No more free rides to Raising Canes for you,” they say. “Give us gas money.”
- They kick Todd out of the car. The Florida alum approaches. He offers Todd $5 for his autograph. He repeats this process 79 times.
- The autograph collector calls McGarity, the plan is in motion.
- McGarity suspends Todd Gurley indefinitely (***You Are Here).
- Despite the seemingly meaningless nature of his “crime,” McGarity refuses to play Gurley for the rest of the season.
- Mark Richt loses to Missouri and then to Arkansas. Florida beats Georgia, so does Auburn and Georgia Tech.
- After a crash to the finish line, McGarity fires Mark Richt and Mike Bobo.
- Muschamp, fresh of a firing of his own answer the call.
- He comes to a one-on-one drinking contest against Jeremy Pruitt in Athens. The winner will be declared head coach, the loser defensive coordinator.
- Pruitt puts up a hell of fight but ultimately Muschamp prevails.
- Muschamp and McGarity join hands victoriously in a press conference.
- Pruitt vomits behind the mic.
- Georgia wins a national championship.
- All the dumb fans say, “I told you so. Fire Richt! Fire Bobo!”