If SEC Teams Were Superheroes: The Great Debate
If all of the SEC teams were Superheroes, which one would each of them be? This question has inflamed an argument amongst my friends, family, and even some innocent bystanders. I finally did my research and came up with arguably the greatest ranking list of all time. Take that Buzzfeed!
The Crimson Tide have a lot of money, can get whatever they want for that money, and they have a weakness (Spread Offenses) and that makes them susceptible to failure. Granted Alabama does not have a lot of the cheesy Batman lines from back in the early days, but I look at them more like a Christian Bale Batman. “Not the hero Gotham (SEC) deserves, but the one Gotham needs right now”.
Their leader is a little out of this world, and they seem to always be a one trick pony on offense, but they are always a tough competitor. Whether it is Thor’s hammer, or the hat of Les Miles, there is always some superhuman power involved in the game-time decisions for this team.
Captain America: Georgia
Mark Richt is the do-gooder who has some cheesy one-liners, but ultimately could not save the world by himself. Captain America stands for everything right in America, and Georgia tries to stand for the “right way to run a program”. Captain America will always have flashes of greatness, but ultimately will fall short at least once a year. Everyone loves Captain America and hopes he wins the big one someday, but until then we shouldn’t hold our breath.
They literally smash you in the mouth. Hulk gets angry, Hulk smashes. Arkansas does not care if you just stopped them for a 5 yard loss, they are going to run it again and hit you right in the mouth.
This is the lamest superhero I could think of, so Auburn gets it by default. #FamilyAllIn
Spiderman: Ole Miss
They used to be really cool, then the Ironman and Batman movies came out. Spiderman tried to make a little comeback, but ultimately is still winning the 8 games a year that the mediocrity of Spiderman brings you.
Make almost as much money as Batman, but even more cocky than Batman. They have saved the world a couple of times in the past decade, but now feel the need to tell everyone how awesome they used to be.
Daredevil: South Carolina
A blind superhero seems to fit the South Carolina program. They blindly follow Spurrier and hang banners for 10 win seasons. Keep doing you Gamecocks.
They have tons of history, and everyone seems to remember a time when they were good, but no one can really remember how good they were. Always around, and has the ability to surprise everyone, but the next year we do not see or hear from them.
Fantastic Four: UK, Vandy, Miss State, A&M/Mizzou
A&M/Mizzou came in at the same time so they are officially one superhero. The Fantastic Four is just lame. They would be the last line of defense if we needed their help, but we should never come to this point.
Obviously this list can be amended as needed, but as of right now I believe this is the most accurate list comparing SEC teams to Superheroes of all time.