Weekly Schadenfreude: Dabo Learns to Count, Michigan Sucks, and Vandy As A Pee-Wee Football Team
Schadenfreude – ˈshä-dən-ˌfrȯi-də\ n. : a feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing about the troubles of other people
This is quickly becoming one of my favorite things to write every week, and this week is no exception. I hope you’re having as much fun with it as I am. But even if you’re not I don’t really care let’s off on the misery of other people, shall we?!!
The Most Clemson GIF The World Has Ever Seen…
…has to be this ref teaching Dabo Swinney how to count to 12. Clemson got flagged for too many men on the field. Dabo was unhappy. This ref turned it into a teachable moment.
In all seriousness, I like to joke about how miserable it is to be a UGA fan a lot. And, trust me, it can be absolutely soul crushing to say the least. But I cannot imagine what it feels like to be a Clemson fan because this is basically the NORMAL level of awful for you…
Stay well out there, Clemson fans, stay well.
The Most Michigan GIF The World Has Ever Seen
Michigan is so so so bad, y’all. I mean they are like truly awful and whatnot.
And this guy feels all of that pain deep down in his existential places. Like a bad Tim Horton’s breakfast or some other kind of shitty food that Michigan people eat.
Sure you could say that their coach is bad, their players are bad, or that both their players and coaches are bad. But really this is happening because God hates Michigan as evidenced by the Noah-esque attempt at drowning everyone in the stadium…
You have to feel for Michigan fans. There they are just happily plodding into the middle of their beautiful field hoping to catch a well-timed pass when all of a sudden Manifest Destiny and our colonial imerialism personified in a team named after a Native American tribe comes along and..
The Most Vandy GIF The World Has Ever Seen…
…is not actually a GIF of anything Vanderbilt did on the football field. It is the following GIF of a Pee Wee football team trying to run through a banner and failing in the cutest way possible.
Poor Dores, they got up early on the Cocks and thought to themselves “THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME,” much like the small children running full speed towards the flimsy paper banner that held their impending doom. Little did they know that Spurrier built the banner out of sand paper and cement. So they crash like the beautiful broken things that they are, much like we human being crash into life and one another in the dirge that is existence. All so comical. All so tragic. All so meaningless and profound simultaneously….
Anyways, Vandy sucks real bad.