NFL Football: Lie to Me + Week 2 Picks

I swear to god, this week was going to be different. There exists a version of this blog that bemoans the depressing stories of the last week, and offered an outlet. As the resident curmudgeon and old person on the site, I was going to go against type and drop some positive sports stories, some uplifting news before my depression inducing picks.

That was before Wednesday afternoon.

That was before the AP report came out, stating that not only had law enforcement officials sent the in-elevator video of the Ray Rice incident to the NFL in APRIL, but that they had a recording with someone at the office, confirming receipt. We had confirmation that not only had Rog fumbled the initial punishment publically, but that he fumbled the cover-up, and had lied repeatedly and through his teeth.

The jig was up. All the way.

Up there…to the left. That’s it son. That’s the jig.

Look, I’ve done some dumb things in my day. And I have, in the past, compounded these dumb things by lying about said dumb things. Sometimes it worked out for me, sometimes it didn’t (call it 60/40), but one of the cardinal rules of any lie is: the larger the lie, the harder it’s going to be to cover up. And when the circle of the lie covers multiple law enforcement agencies, casino private security, the NFL, the Ravens, and hand-picked reporters who act as little more than mouthpieces for the league, that’s a BIG circle.

Yesterday morning, an interview with Rog was aired on CBS, and he could barely handle that light questioning. That’s right. Rog was wilting under questions approved of and asked by LEAGUE PARTNER CBS. By 5 pm, the AP report was out, and the NFL was in full-blown CYA mode. And now this:

Come on Rog.

Following up with announcement of a  so-called independent investigation is not enough. The FBI and NFL have been too cozy for too many years. Hell, I’ll bet all of Andrew’s money that over 50% of NFL teams employ a former FBI agent as part of their independent security team. NFL security sure is littered with them. And I think 80% is lowballing it.

No, the “Blue Ribbon, Fact Finding, Double Secret Probation Commission” isn’t going to cut it. Rog clearly won’t step down because, honestly, look at all the arrogance here. Owners are reluctant to fire him based on how well he curb stomped the NFLPA in the most recent CBA negotiations, but this has got to be it. The onus is on the owners to act, and Keith Olbermann spit fire bars on this yesterday:

Oh, and if you’re late to the outrage-athon (operators are standing by!), Jon Stewart covered the ENTIRE thing, and summarizes the ridiculousness of this whole mismanaged debacle in 8 minutes.

See, that’s why they get paid for their takes, and I shovel mine out for free. Home teams in bold.

Steelers (+1) over Ravens

So, I was trapped in a Steelers bar for NFL last Sunday and those people are intense. I mean, I am an unabashed homer (see next pick), but there was a guy in the bar in Steelers boots, a Steelers themed serape (which must be a custom job, cause I can’t find a photo of one online), and a Steelers professional wrestling mask. I was wearing a Falcons hat and an nWo shirt, and both our teams won in overtime. Fanhood is dumb.

Falcons (+5) over Bengals

Fanhood may be dumb, but if you think I’m not wearing that exact same hat-shirt combo this Sunday, you’re nuts. Always a joy to watch AJ Green, less of a joy when he’s playing my team. This is a good Bengals team with a strong defense, and the Falcons have already started the injury carousel that is the offensive line. Hashtag reverse jinx.

Dolphins (PICK) over Bills

Is someone hurt? Why is this a pick? Do people actually think the Bills are good?

Washington Professional Football Team (-5.5) over Jaguars

No, I watched Chad Henne in the second half last week thankyouverymuch. I’ll be betting against the Jags for the foreseeable future.

Titans (-3) over Cowboys

Well, maybe Jason was right about the Titans this year. His hometown team handled business last week AND Jake Locker looked serviceable. Which is more than I can say for November Romo we saw last week. Is it possible this last round of back surgeries did him in and he lost fastball? Is it possible rounds of back surgeries are a bad sign?

Cardinals (-3) over Giants

On Monday, we simultaneously learned that the Lions got better and the Giants got somehow worse from last year. Good to know.

Patriots (-3) over Vikings

Bill and Tom aren’t starting 0-2. Did you know that Chris Christie is okaying sports gambling in New Jersey, and that I that someone could potentially start gambling on NFL games legally next Sunday? I’m not saying how I know it’s exactly a 57 minute drive from my house to Atlantic City, but I AM saying that Chad and I’s annual NBA over/under podcast could get MUCH MORE INTERESTING this year.

Saints (-6.5) over Browns

Angry Drew Brees vs. a wholly uninspiring Browns defense. Got it.

Panthers (-2.5) over Lions

Cam Newton has been making “Donkey Kong Suh” jokes all week. I REALLY hope he and Suh are cool in real life, for his sake. Cause these NFL injury reports are public knowledge, and he knows about the ribs.

Buccaneers (-5.5) over Rams

Quarterback, gone. Star defensive end, gone. Yeah, I’ll take Lovie Smith’s team over a team that might have more money injured right now than  on the field.

Seahawks (-6) over Chargers

I guess there’s no grace period to just bet on the Seahawks before the linemakers adjust, huh? San Diego made the playoffs last year, and they’re giving 6 at home? Note the pick, I’m just saying, the decision shouldn’t have been this hard.

Texans (-3) over Raiders

Welcome to the pick I flip-flopped on the most, if only because I’m sure Matt Schaub will somehow screw over Houston one more time, even with the clipboard in his hands.

Packers (-8) over Jets

Did everyone see Rex and company celebrating a September win at home over the Raiders like it was an actual accomplishment? YOU DIDN’T EVEN COVER. Aaron Rodgers is gonna remind you who you are, Jets.

Broncos (-13.5) over Chiefs

Week one saw two key Chiefs defenders tear their Achilles’, and Andy Reid ride his overmatched, overpaid quarterback, and ignoring his world-beater running back. Didn’t this just get him fired in Philly?

Niners (-7) over Bears

Classic overreaction pick by me. Sure, the Niners looked good, but the Cowboys might be terrible. Sure, the Bears lost on the road, but the Bills might not be. I’m going to lose this pick, and I’m okay with it.

Eagles (-3) over Colts

That first half last week almost cost me the Nick Foles gif. The second half was better, but he still missed a bunch of open receivers. Basically, the 34 unanswered points could have been 50. Let’s hang 50 Nick.

WEEK 2 BEST BETS: Saints, Seahawks, Packers

Last Week: 9-7

Season: 9-7

Best Bets Last Week: 1-2

Best Bets Season: 1-2

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

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Posted on September 11, 2014, in Blog, Gambling, NFL, Picks, Podcast, The UGA Vault. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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