Monthly Archives: December 2013
I have a new favorite storyline of bowl season. After you’re aware of what’s going on, you will too.
Currently, the B1G (current and future members) are 0-4 in postseason play. B1G losses thus far do include a couple of teams you’re used to seeing in the polls and on national TV, such as 6-6 Syracuse and (I don’t have an adjective here…West Virginia’s own?) Marshall.
Additionally, future member Rutgers lost to honorary member Notre Dame in the Big Apple, and Michigan lost to a K-State team that lost to North Dakota St. this year. Of note from the Michigan loss is the following: a third-year record of 7-6 got Rich Rodriguez fired from Michigan just 3 years ago. With a wildly inconsistent to frustratingly unpredictable squad in the Brady Hoke era, did the near miss against Ohio State save his name from the coaching carousel?
Inspired by the following tweet, let’s take a look and see if our favorite conference to trash can set a record for unblemished futility over the next week.
Current and future #B1G members 0-4 to start bowl season with Stanford, Clemson and three ranked SEC teams still to come.
— Stewart Mandel (@slmandel) December 29, 2013
Lucky for the B1G, they have until 2014 to lick their collective wounds. Unfortunately for the B1G, the tweet above don’t lie.
Three games on New Years’ Day feature SEC opponents that are currently higher ranked than any of their B1G foes. Georgia plays Nebraska for the second straight year, Jadeveon Clowney and Connor Shaw finish their South Carolina careers against Wisconsin, and we get to make jokes about Kirk Ferentz being overpaid as the Anthony Jennings era starts for LSU.
By 4:30 pm on Wednesday, I fully expect the B1G to be 0-7.
With the conclusion of the afternoon games, we get to settle in for what promises to be the most physical Rose Bowl of the last 80 years. B1G champ Michigan State gets a chance to defend the league’s honor against Stanford. These teams are very similar with their physical nature and strong D, but from the eye test (NOTE: usually not reliable!) Stanford does what MSU does better than MSU does it.
Ohio State. Clemson. Personally, I can’t think of a better 26th birthday present than a repeat of this:
Unfortunately, we have to rely on Clemson, fresh off of a good old-fashioned Clemsoning, to take care of business.
— Chad Floyd (@Chad_Floyd) December 1, 2013
For a league whose divisions are named Legends and Leaders, it is time. Be a leader in futility, and have a legendary bowl season. You can do it, Big Ten. All of us in SEC country are rooting for you.
Jason Smith got into the spirts and then got into the spirit of writing. DudeYouCrazy is all the better for it.
The Bowls That Might Have Been: Or What Happens When You Drink While Watching Marshall Play Maryland With Your Brother-in-Law
Consider this scenario. If you’d been occupying a position of utmost importance in your workplace, one that almost everyone else envied, you would inevitably garner a lot of hatred. Imagine being so despised that people were calling for your removal from power, your metaphorical “death.” Imagine they finally do succeed in getting you ousted. They rejoice at your demise. They dance on your grave.
If you respond with anything other than a crotch grab and a double-barrel salute on your way out the door in the most Bud Adams-esque (RIP) fashion I don’t even wanna know you.
This is the state of the BCS today. And its final double-barrel salute is one for the ages.
Duke, the best story of the year, is hopelessly outmatched against Johnny Manziel. UGA has to stomach a rematch against a “hotter than hot garbage” Nebraska squad. Alabama gets Big Game Stoops in a game the Tide might actually lose because of how little even they care about it.
The bowls suck. If you don’t believe me turn on whatever game is on right now.
It sucks. It’s boring. It’s meaningless.
The BCS is laughing its ass off at all of us right now.
So I’ve been thinking. What ought the bowl season look like? What do we college football fanatics deserve out of our meaningless post-season corporate money-grabs? How good could this really be?
Here is just a glimpse at what the bowls could look like were we not getting a final wedgie from the BCS.
First, a word on how I arrived at this bowl slate:
1.) Conference tie-ins are stupid. Until they aren’t (cf. this year’s Rose Bowl).
2.) Geographic location should play a roll. But not an absolute one.
3.) Bowl eligibility should be determined by ranking and prestige, not by win totals. Thus, a non 6-win team from a major conference will get a bowl bid over some traditionally “bowl eligible” teams. This will have little effect on most upper tier bowls but it will have a profound effect on the lower-tier bowls. Some might say that this limits the amount of non-BCS conference teams that will get a bowl bid. Not necessarily. Rather it will match these teams up with BCS conference teams that have had a down year. This way we create more intrigue by putting the “little guy” to the test versus a “big guy” that has been as close to a dumpster fire as you can get. I don’t really feel this needs further justification. The bowls are meaningless. Why not have some fun while we can?
4.) No rematches from the regular season (with one exception).
5.) Bowl matchups with teams from the same conference are totally cool. Especially if they play in the best conference but in opposing divisions which would make their playing each other an impossibility during most years. I think you see where I’m going with this.
6.) Being declared ineligible by the NCAA is real dumb. Penn State is in because they’re a feel good story and can fill a stadium.
7.) Finally, if we’re stuck with the BCS this year then, dammit, we should use it to create the best bowl games possible. So my final criterion for choosing who goes where was the BCS standings. Why? Because it is, honest to God, actually a pretty good metric for putting together some really intriguing games. And admitting that makes me crazy.
Sound like an exact science? Hell no.
But it’s gotta be better than what we have, right? Keep drinking. It’ll come around.
Also, I’ve canceled the Compass Bowl and the New Orleans Bowl. See, I told you it would get better.
Here we go.
Heart of Dallas Bowl (Dallas, TX)
Kansas State vs. North Texas
Anyone think North Texas wouldn’t win this game? I do. I saw them play Georgia.
Las Vegas Bowl (Las Vegas, NV)
West Virginia vs. Florida
Holgorsen vs. Muschamp in Vegas. C’mon people. This one is obvious.
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (Boise, ID)
Washington State vs. Utah State
Because you can’t cancel the best named bowl game of all time and this matchup is intriguing. Probably a mismatch, but intriguing.
Beef O’Bradys (St. Petersurg, FL)
Tennessee vs. Middle Tennessee State
Outside the box, I know. Just go with it. Do you know the ratings this game would pull in the state of Tennessee? And then how many people from every other SEC fan base that hates Tennessee and wants to watch them lose to Middle would tune in?
Hawaii (Honolulu, Hawaii)
Oregon State vs. Western Kentucky
No fan base is going to travel to Hawaii anyway. Don’t you want to watch Bobby Petrino get sunburned and beat a Pac-12 team?
Litte Caesars Bowl (Detroit, MI)
Bowling Green vs. Ball State
These two teams are really good. Let them fill up Ford Field and get crazy.
Poinsettia Bowl (San Diego, CA)
Arizona vs. Boise State
Rich Rod vs. Peterson in Peterson’s final game.
Military Bowl (Annapolis, MD)
Navy vs. Penn State
Admit it. You’d watch this game. Full house of Navy fans plus the opportunity to beat a team which, in all honesty, Navy should play every year anyway.
Texas (Houston, TX)
Houston vs. Minnesota
They’re both 8-4. Put em on at Noon and let em fight it out.
Fight Hunger (San Fransico, CA)
Washington vs. BYU
Good work Fight Hunger bowl. I approve.
Pinstripe (Bronx, NY)
Michigan vs. Boston College
This game works because it is a guaranteed sell-out in Yankee Stadium. And full stadiums make for better bowl games. They just do.
Belk (Charlotte, NC)
UNC vs. Marshall
Definitely not a prime time matchup, but better than most games.
Russell Athletic (Orlando, FL)
Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech
Sneaky good. Sneaky, sneaky good.
Buffalo Wild Wings (Tempe, AZ)
Fresno State vs. Northern Illinois
The almost-busters deserve each other.
Armed Forces (Fort Worth, TX)
Iowa vs. Rice
Every bowl season needs a matchup that sucks so much it feels good. Here ya go.
Music City (Nashville, TN)
Georgia Tech vs. Mississippi State
A stoppable force meets a movable object. Cue up the “Dan Mullen Confused over the Triple Option” GIFs.
Alamo Bowl (San Antonio, TX)
Texas vs. USC
Imagine this game. Mack Brown’s last game vs. the team he beat for the National Title. Also, I’m a fan of Ron Burgundy interviewing Vince Young on the sideline, aren’t you?
Holiday Bowl (San Diego, CA)
Arizona State vs. Wisconsin
Big Ten fan-bases love to travel to California and no one would not be watching the “#Karma Bowl.”
AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl (Shreveport, LA)
Texas Tech vs. Ole Miss
Neither of these teams deserve to be here based on record but nobody would object to this game.
Sun Bowl (El Paso, TX)
UCLA vs. Louisville
Two of the best QB’s on the planet in a Texas shootout. I’m in.
Liberty Bowl (Memphis, TN)
UCF vs. Nebraska
O’Leary and Pelini. Elvis impersonators in the stands. A one time giant losing to a perpetual nobody. What’s not to love? Can you imagine the Pelini press conference after this one?
Gator Bowl (Jacksonville, FL)
Notre Dame vs. Miami
Catholics vs. Convicts didn’t happen this year. Anyone object to seeing it during bowl season? Didn’t think so.
Chick-fil-A Bowl (Atlanta, GA)
Duke vs. Vanderbilt
Let’s let the nerds duke it out (pun intended). Also this would be an absolutely incredible ball game. The over/under on trick plays would be 8.5.
Outback Bowl (Tampa, FL)
Texas A&M vs. UGA
Anybody not excited about this one? Even with their second string QB everyone wants to see the best QB in the SEC and the best RB in the SEC play defenses that are going to be at their wit’s end by the second quarter. Let’s do this.
Capital One Bowl (Orlando, FL)
LSU vs. Oklahoma State
Think anyone would bring up that Sports Illustrated article? Also the pre-game highlight reel of Gundy and Miles press conferences would be glorious.
Cotton Bowl (Arlington, TX)
Oklahoma vs. Clemson
Big Game Stoops vs. Big Game Dabo because sometimes its really fun to watch two “elite” teams fall ass-backwards into one another and try to be the one left the most upright at the end.
Fiesta Bowl (Tempe, AZ)
Missouri vs. Oregon
One word: Score-porn. Conservatively, what would the Over be on this one?
Orange Bowl (Miami, FL)
Ohio State vs. South Carolina
Worth it for the post-game handshake alone.
Rose Bowl (Pasadena, CA)
MSU vs. Stanford
This might still be the best bowl matchup on the docket.
Sugar Bowl (New Orleans, LA)
Alabama vs. Baylor
Welcome to the “Texas Coaching Search Speculation Bowl.” Think it would be all about Briles? Think again. How many times would Saban get this question: “But you don’t have a buyout in your new contract, right?” Also, what if Saban announced he’d reconsidered and was leaving for Texas after the game? ALSO ALSO, this would be an incredible football game.
BCS Nat’l Championship
Auburn vs. Florida State
Because sometimes they get it right.
There you have it folks. Perhaps it torments you to be presented with something this beautiful only to be forced back down to the reality of the current bowl lineup.
I get that.
But think on this: as Division I shifts to a playoff, rumors of the rise of Division IV gain momentum, and some of the most traditional “tie-in” bowls become playoff games something like this might just be in our not so distant future.
Yesterday’s College Football News Today: Assistant Coaching Changes Galore, Ohio State is the Best Team Ever
In case you weren’t keeping tabs on college football yesterday, here’s what you missed…
Former Georgia (and everywhere else) defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder is leaving his prestigious position as a linebackers coach for the NFL’s 21st best scoring defense to take up post as Notre Dame’s defensive coordinator. A meiocre defense, after all, is what Notre Dame was missing in its unending and fruitless quest to be taken seriously. Or, maybe the Irish just need a good mustache.
Oregon defensive coordinator Nick Aliotti is retiring after the Ducks’ bowl game at the young age of 59. He claims he’s always wanted to retire by 60, but I can’t help but wonder if the Texas boosters (Oregon is taking on the Longhorns in the Valero Alamo Bowl this week) forced him out along with Mack Brown.
UCF hired an FCS DC in what is undoubtedly an acronym fan’s dream.
Refusing to recognize reality, ESPN has a nice piece on how glorious Ohio State has been during the BCS era. It’s the kind of writing that was surely intended to be a slap in the face of SEC fans (the article includes the line, “We’ll pause here to let SEC fans pick their jaws up from the floor and clean off the spittle.”), but it’s good for a hearty laugh.
That’s all I got/
Gather round y’all and check out some thoughts on Georgia’s ongoing ‘cruitment of of high school football players.
I’ll be updating this sucker EDD (every damn day) until National Signing Day except for on days when I don’t update it.
In the meantime, here’s a look at what Georgia looks for in recruits:
Whoa. I never realized it quite this directly, but man, the SEC has a great lineup of bowl tie-ins. The first game involving one of our Southern (or Missourian) brethren is the Music City Bowl, which is played on December 30. For comparison’s sake, the Pac-12 will have seen four bowl games by the 30th. The ACC? Five. Tie-ins to every relevant New Years Day bowl, the Cotton Bowl, and sending the fifth best team to a bowl where the ACC sends its second? Unbelievable. I feel as if I am writing a “100 Days of SEC Dominance” piece from this summer.
Anyhow, after a few less-than-compelling matchups turned compelling games, let’s take a quick look at the SEC’s matchups. That’s what we’re all here for, right?
Music City Bowl: Ole Miss vs. Georgia Tech
Paul Johnson is 1-4 in bowl games at Tech, including losses to powerhouses Air Force, Iowa, and Utah. The book on beating Tech comes down to having an athletic D line and extra time to prepare. Starting with the brothers Nkemdiche, Ole Miss has some athleticism in the trenches. The three weeks of prep time also give their ailing O a chance to get healthy, and a chance for Dr. Bo to get his game back after fumbling away the Egg Bowl a couple of Fridays back.
/insert your favorite Dr. Bo tweet here.
Liberty Bowl: Rice vs. Mississippi State
I have used precious little DudeYouBandwidth talking about Mississippi State this season, and with good reason. Rice is a great matchup for them because you could tell me this is a C-USA conference game and I wouldn’t blink. The second half of this game should be used only for background fodder while your New Year’s party gets moving.
Chick-Fil-A Bowl: #24 Duke vs. #21 Texas A&M
I cackled like an idiot when I heard this was a thing. Johnny Football’s last game (oh, Atlanta jerseychasers: New Years Eve is your night), Mike Evans vs. a secondary that gave up 58 points, 424 passing yards and 6 TD’s to Tom Savage of Pitt?
“Xbox, show me Pitt” *Xbox tunes to The Feces Network* “I SAID PITT. PIIIITTTTT”
— Spillver Bells (@IAmSpilly) December 6, 2013
Duke will score points, because A&M’s defense is still really bad, but…A&M is going to score a lot more points, and it’s going to be a lot of fun.
Gator Bowl: Nebraska vs. #22 Georgia
This again? DudeYouCrazy will delve deeper into this game in the coming week, but I’m shocked that the Gator Bowl took this rematch. They may still have been drunk from celebrating the disaffiliation with the Big East/AAC.
Outback Bowl: Iowa vs. #16 LSU
Call me a nerd, but I’m kind of excited for this game. Strictly because of how good it was last time these two matched up.
JaMarcus Russell! Robert Gallery! Other failed Oakland Raiders top-5 draft picks, I’m sure!
Sugar Bowl: #11 Oklahoma vs. #3 Alabama
This matchup doesn’t fail to compel me, only because I have seen a disappointed Alabama team coming off a loss in its last game lay an egg in the Sugar Bowl (2009 vs. Utah).
HAVING SAID THAT, Oklahoma is WAY outclassed here. Bama should win and win comfortably, but it’s as good a Thursday night diversion as you’ll get.
Cotton Bowl: #13 Mizzou vs. #8 Oklahoma State
Andrew and I discussed this on DudeYouPodcast ep 30, as at the time neither of us had any idea who would win this game. Two similar teams possess one big difference: Missouri has quality play at QB. A good matchup for my birthday though.
BBVA Compass: Vanderbilt vs. Houston
Yeah, this takes place on January 4. On January 5, the Danica Patrick’s website bowl pits Ball State and Arkansas State. Detracts from the ‘New Years Day Bowl’ prestige factor a little bit, no? Also, these games go head-to-head with the first round of the NFL playoffs…so good luck with that.
As for the game itself, Vandy should win. As for another sideshow/hot take: IS THIS JAMES FRANKLIN’S LAST VANDY HURRAH!!!?!?!?
National Championship: #2 Auburn vs. #1 Florida State
Much like the Georgia/Nebraska game, there is a lot more to come here on the website. The more I think about this game, the more I get the sneaky suspicion that Auburn may pull it out. Someone talk me out of this.
Giving you the business,