Jarvis Jones’ Greatest Accomplishment
Last night Jarvis Jones Instagram’d what very well might be his greatest accomplishment.
Now, we’ve seen Jarvis Jones do some pretty impressive things over his lifetime., but having his own special at Waffle House might be the single most astonishing feat. If nothing else, it is now*** the most awesome thing I’ve seen happen at a Waffle House…I think.
***The Previous “Most Awesome Thing I’ve Seen at a Waffle House”:
A groggy DudeYouCrazy somehow cons WifeYouCrazy into going to Waffle House with him on a Saturday morning. He is unshowered, unkempt and generally unbridled. In other words, he is feeling Waffle House-y. They walk in, find a seat at a greased up table and await service. WifeYouCrazy studies the menu…hard. DudeYouCrazy doesn’t need to look. A waitress who does not look dissimilar to Donovan McNabb’s Mother approaches the table. Without looking up from her pad the McNabb-wannabe asks for Dude and Wife’s orders. WifeYouCrazy stumbles through her choices but ultimately survives. DudeYouCrazy does not falter when he proclaims, “Black Coffee and a water. All-Star Special, eggs over easy, white toast hold the jam, bacon with extra bacon, double hash browns double covered.”
The waitress slowly peers over her yellow pad with a gaze somewhere between “in awe” and “smitten.” DudeYouCrazy waits for the response he gets from all waitresses: You gonna eat all that? He gets no such response. In stead he hears, “You. You have. This is going to sound weird. But you have just the face of a…starrrr. Y’know what I mean?”
DudeYouCrazy removes an eye-booger and calmly responds the only way he knows how: Oh I know, ma’am.
WifeYouCrazy hangs her head in feigned embarrassment knowing she will never hear the end of that exchange.
That’s all I got/