DudeYouPodcast 160: Drafted Dawgs and Playoff Talk


TODAY! We break down how former Dawgs did on Draft Night Weekend, talk for the last time about fake agent statements, and discuss what’s next in the NBA playoffs.

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Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air. Follow me at @dpalm66.

UGA Football: Marshall Morgan is a Bill


After the draft last week, Marshall Morgan was picked up as an undrafted free agent to compete for the kicking job in Buffalo. As he’s projected to win that job, I was interviewed about his prospects as a pro. I even avoided any Rex Ryan foot jokes, which is growth for me.

Here’s a snippet.

Is there anything fans outside of your team wouldn’t know about him?

KEEP HIM OFF THE WATER. It’s a running joke, but a real one in that he missed the first two games of the 2013 season after a BUI incident and still led the SEC in FGs made that year. The drinking aspect should be a REAL GOOD FIT with what I know about the Buffalo fanbase.

And here’s the link.

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me unde>r your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air. Follow me at @dpalm66.

Introducing the Excitement/Butthurt Scale


For the first five minutes of last week’s ‘Podcast Ain’t Played Nobody‘, a must-listen for college football fans who want more than the ESPN narrative-focused CFB content, there was an assault on Georgia. An angry listener responded to Stephen Godfrey’s assertion that he hopes Mark Richt wins five national titles at Miami. From there, Godfrey attacked the narrative of the Richt firing fallout, the absurdity of the 90-day FOIA law pushed through the state legislature– apparently, Georgia fans did not react well. 

As a Georgia fan, none of this offended me. SEC fanbases are nothing if not insular and passionate. This leads to a lack of rationality that makes the whole thing so damn fun, and the offseason a little less of a slog. 

Godfrey posited a scale rating teams on two variables: Excitement and Butthurt. Presented below, the first (and ever-changing, thanks to Laremy Tunsil fallout) Excitement/Butthurt tracking chart. Click image to enlarge.

Excitement Butthurt May 2 2016

More Excited than Butthurt

Not a very well-represented sample, the fanbases that can currently be characterized as more excited than butthurt are all among the more anonymous ones in the SEC. After the Dak Prescott era, there is certainly some consternation as to how Dan Mullen maintains Mississippi State’s unprecedented recent run. But aside from the occasional “Mullen to ____” rumors, I can’t see anything to be too mad about. Arkansas falls in the same boat (definitely underselling their crazy) because of the way they keep finishing seasons strong and maintaining high yet reasonable expectations. And Bret Bieliema is officially the most fun coach in the league.

I’ve never met a Mizzou or Vandy football fan, but I think they both toe the line where apathy may play into a lower butthurt rating. Missouri came back down to earth due to an offensive collapse, and maintained a VERY strong (per Missouri standards) status quo by promoting Barry Odom to the head coach position.

Vanderbilt improved last year. That’s enough to keep them on the happy side, as I didn’t leave room in MS Paint for anything below zero on either axis.

Borderline Fanbases- Where the Pendulum Swings

Five programs find themselves just barely on the wrong side of the chart, and I swear I’ll do my best to justify them. As the bell curve of this exercise, these are the programs that have the most potential to make enormous shifts in future iterations of this post.

Kentucky: They’re hard to place here. Mark Stoops now has three years of recruiting and on-field improvement under his belt, but the Cats have completely collapsed in November in each of the past two seasons. Both collapses have led to narrow misses of bowl eligibility. This year represents a chance to get over the hump to the excited scale of the graph– they have three winnable SEC home games in South Carolina, Vanderbilt, and Mississippi State.

Florida: Their excitement would be through the roof if they had a quarterback. Their collapse (while still falling back-asswards into the SEC Championship game) was directly related to the suspension and subsequent transfer of Will Grier.

Alabama: You’d think 4 of the last 7 national championships would have the excitement at a fever pitch. However, I still hear more from Bama fans about their 2015 loss to Ohio State than I do any of their successes. Nick Saban to Texas this offseason is still my fantasy.

Georgia: Yeah, we’re a butthurt fanbase. There’s the GLARINGLY OBVIOUS desire to be Alabama, yet the ‘we’re Georgia, we are better than that’ sentiment still lurks in the “but…” of every sentence out of our mouths. We claim Mark Richt’s firing was a mutual decision, but we know that isn’t true. The excitement comes from what should be perfect fits: Kirby Smart the alum, Jacob Eason the savior, Jim Chaney the perfect OC for a defensive coach…but let’s stop living in denial.

Tennessee: The favorites* to win the East this year. But they’ve been irrelevant for a full decade, Butch Jones systematically covers up rapes, and, let’s be honest…he hasn’t won shit.

Butthurt. Delicious Butthurt. 

LSU: Underperforming because Cam Cameron still exists, and the defense for all its talent is prone to month-long slumbers. The botched Les Miles firing was insane, and anything less than 10 wins will lead to more absurdity on the Bayou.

South Carolina: They hired Will Muschamp. The inferiority complex of the fanbase exists in droves and will forever continue to do so. I don’t have them high enough on the butthurt scale. Oh well.

Ole Miss: We all know its gonna hit the fan here.

Auburn and Texas A&M: I couldn’t really separate them, yet they’re here for completely different reasons. With Auburn, the ‘you came within a play of a national championship’ honeymoon period is ending for Gus Malzahn. They’re my SEC Georgia Tech though– they exceed expectations when nobody’s looking and fall flat on their face when everyone is– and they could move on the scale (while, obviously, still leading the country in non-Ohio-State-or-Notre-Dame butthurt). AND they made the term popular.

A&M just feels like its on the verge of collapse. There was QB-gate, Golden Boy Manziel busting in the NFL, the loss of yet another 1st-round O-lineman, and a still-pretty-sorry defense. And Texas always looms.


It speaks to the passion of the SEC that so few fanbases can claim to be legitimately, unabashedly excited about their football programs. It also speaks to the absurdity of their expectations. Remember this next time you start the S-E-C chant at a bowl game: we are a weird, insular, and prideful group of people.

 

On Ole Miss, Laremy Tunsil and Fake Agent Statements


Quick note: This isn’t Dpalm writing. Barstool Sports graciously linked to our site and linked to his archive in the process so I’m pretending to be him. If you’re new here thanks to Barstool or anyone else, welcome. Here’s our main page. -Dude

 

What a time to be alive, folks. I invented hating Ole Miss’s 2013 recruiting class. I’m the original Ole Miss doubter.

Before Laremy Tunsil even signed with Ole Miss I tried to talk him out of it. I expressed concerns about recruiting violations directly to the Ole Miss athletic department. I attributed that 2013 class to either something nefarious or simple “magic.” I wondered if Ole Miss’s chill AF drug policy was a recruiting advantage. I fielded questions via email from ESPN’s Shelley Smith about Ole Miss recruiting violations even though the only evidence I had was common sense.

So the Tunsil thing (both the weed video and the money texts) was incredible. I hate it for him (I actually kind of do), but it was incredible. I treated the whole situation as I treat most things—with irreverence—and wrote a fake statement from Tunsil’s agent while on the toilet. There were typose and squiggly lines under his name in the iPhone Notes app. But it worked, apparently.

Now it’s everywhere.

I don’t know what to say other than the internet is a crazy thing and people are even crazier. In a push, I’d say 70% of the responses I read thought this thing was real. I kind of love that. Another 20% knew it was fake and a joke. A solid 10% hated me. But this thing took off like nothing I’ve ever published (which isn’t necessarily saying a lot).

Michelle Beadle followed me on Twitter in an all-time “Wait, what?” moment. The Big Lead had to clarify that the post was false. Holier-than-thou media had to inform followers that this was an atrocious attempt at fraud or whatever. I’ve heard the statement was referenced/read on Mike & Mike this AM but famous people like me don’t listen to ESPN Radio.

But in any event, if you’re new to DudeYouCrazy, welcome. We’ve been here for almost six years. We were small and then we got bigger and then we got smaller and maybe now we’re big again? Make us big again.

 

 

That’s all I got/

Andrew

2016: Return of the NFL Draft Live Blog


Welcome to my favorite time of year, the NFL Draft. Now, when I say time of year, I mean the actual draft; not the needlessly extended by two weeks run up TO the Draft. That’s unbearable. On my old site, I ran these live blogs for the 2007 and 2008 drafts, and they were always well received, so we started running it back for the Dude You Crazy audience in 2014. Last year, I was driving all my worldly possessions from the hellscape that is Philadelphia back to Atlanta so there was no live blog, but never again. Come hell or high water, I will be here to get progressively drunker through the night, to mock the last man in the green room, and to revel in another case for SEC dominance.

7:30: Thirty minutes before this whole thing kicks off, and THIS is the prevailing news story so far? Yeah, gonna be a weird night. I’m not going to post the picture here cause I don’t want to, but if this is what the kids are doing these days I’m glad I’m finally an old person.

8:00: Welcome to the NFL Draft! A year where bad teams have convinced themselves that bad quarterbacks are going to be good for their franchise. How convinced? They mortgaged their futures for them. Yeah. Look for a lot more trades and talking heads convincing you that these quarterbacks deserve to go 1-2.

8:05: Funny story: the Draft is in Chicago because a few years ago, they FORGOT to book Radio City, and the dates got taken. It pushed everything back a week, and was a pretty public embarrassment for the league office. Radio City tried to strong arm them (allegedly) and hence you get traveling draft. Look for it to move permanently in LA over the next 5 years.

8:06: Chicago didn’t boo Goodell. Missed opportunity.

8:10:Remember when the Titans rebuilt their entire team in one draft because the Rams HAD TO HAVE Jarad freaking Goff? “He sure got hit a lot!” – Mel Kiper, right now.

8:16: How do teams take so long? You’ve known what you were going to do for months. This isn’t Shakspeare, it’s a job fair. At least the walk up music list leaked, and the amount of Drake makes me weep for our youth. Nkemdiche, I see you with that Bowie.

8:22: Look at these trades. LOOK AT THEM. It’s like Philly and St. Louis LA were having a stupid move off. Meanwhile, you just KNOW that Jerry Jones is DYING to do something dumb as hell.

8:26: Remember, Philly is the same organization that JUST hired Doug Pederson as their head coach. The same Doug Pederson who was the OC in Arizona Kansas City (whiskey edit!) last year, except they didn’t let him call the plays. That level of institutional ineptitude explains the trade and this pick.

8:30: Welcome to the stupid-off San Diego! I concur with NFL alumni and best pre-draft breakdown man in the game, Stephen White; we’ve seen the best of Joey Bosa, and it’s not good enough to be dominant on Sundays.

8:33: I forgot how much I hate Berman’s voice. Curse past Dpalm for cancelling NFL Network after the season.

8:39: Elliot went in the first round in 2016. So, you’re telling me that they think he’s on par with oh, Todd Gurley? Okay buddy. This ISN’T the stupid thing I thought Jerry would do, but he didn’t have true breakaway speed in the Big 10. THE BIG TEN.

8:42: Maybe Gruden will punch Mel. Maybe. And listening to these talking heads lie about hope for bad teams is adorable.

8:47: Good for Jalen Ramsey. Big corner who could be a safety, and fits the run the way you draw it up. He and Fowler could be big for Jacksonville, and in that division, a good young defense might get it done.

8:50: Dude Emeritus asking the tough questions.

8:53: REEEEEEEEEEEACH for Stanley here. Did TheDude’s tweet sink Tunsil’s prospects? His stepfather snitching on him the NCAA and this lawsuit is REAL dirty pool.

8:58: Allow me to clarify these talking heads: they don’t care about the drugs, they care about not getting caught. And ZERO players popped for drugs at the combine. But, a twitter photo right before the Draft doesn’t tell me you can avoid getting caught.

9:01: Buckner with the smartest move of the night so far; staying at home for the Draft. But y’all notice that Chip’s first draft pick in SF is a former player of his right?

9:06: I need a camera in Jim Irsay’s drug den as he realizes that the Titans just took the pole position in the division. Great pick, competent use of trades. Who kidnapped the Titans front office?

9:13: WELP.

9:15: Wait, what? Really? Good for Floyd, damn good Dawg. I hope that the use at multiple positions in that defense masked how really good he can be when he’s not asked to do literally EVERYTHING on a defense.

9:20: I don’t know if I say it enough, but Stephen White’s pre-draft breakdowns are AWESOME every year. Imma go pour another whiskey. Here’s White on Floyd.

9:24: BUT CAN HE COOK? Looks like the Hawks aren’t embarrassing themselves on the road yet tonight. What? I’m versatile.

9:30: Great pick by the Bucs. The Hargreaves thing, not taking Dirk Koetter and Mike Smith and putting them in charge. That was a terrible decision.

9:38: Two DEs coming off the board before Nkemdiche is the definition of overthinking.

9:45: Good for Tunsil.

9:52: I didn’t love the Raiders pick, but hey things are trending the right way now. Big shoes to fill with the Woodson retirement.

9:55: Browns on the clock. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

10:00: LET COLEMAN ROOM WITH JOSH GORDON!!!!

10:07: Glad the Falcons got better on defense, Myles Jack was my hope, but this is a safer pick.

10:15: Hmmm….

10:20: Chip drafted a kid who played for him. Rex drafted a kid who played with his son. Nkemdiche still chilling. Sigh.

10:26: WHOLE lotta future underwhelming rookies in all these Buckeyes. I count 4 out of 5 drafted too high so far…

10:32: Texans move up for a WR from Notre Dame who doesn’t have the best hands?

10:40: If only Doctson had a quarterback in Washington to get him the ball…

10:44: HAWKS WIN!!! BRING ME LEBRON!!! IRRATIONAL CONFIDENCE ENGAGED!!! Ahem. Sorry about that. Great pick by the Vikings; I’m willing to admit I was wrong about Bridgewater, and it’s only fair he gets some help.

10:54: The number of players who did the smart thing and stayed home is really refreshing. A whole lotta folks gotta feel awkward in that green room.

11:01: When Connor Cook is allegedly the best quarterback left after only TWO have been taken, you know the position was thin as hell.

11:05: A Memphis player went in the first round of the NFL Draft. #Welcometo2016

11:18: …Guys, is Chip Kelly okay?

11:25: You idiots let Nkemdiche fall to a REALLY good team? Way to go, the stupid off winner was Arizona, for not being stupid.

11:34: Only one pick left, and SO MANY PEOPLE left in that green room. Listen to me now, believe me later on: STAY AT HOME FOR THE DRAFT. How many of you brought a second suit for tomorrow, huh?

11:40:And we’re done. If you’ve been following on Twitter, you may have noticed Andrew Hall’s satire tweet going viral. And it’s come to this. Other accounts verifying the falsehood of our obviously trolly joke. I love sports media. See you next year.

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me unde>r your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air. Follow me at @dpalm66.

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