Category Archives: Auburn
I love Buzzfeed Quizes. I love how there are so many. I love how often people share them on Facebook. I love finding out which state you should be from, what Disney Princess you would be, and what character on [insert anything with characters ever made circa 1990] you are. It’s so much fun for all of us.
I LOVE IT SO MUCH I MADE MY OWN!
Actually this isn’t quite a quiz per se. It’s an observational quiz in which I answer a single question in my brain and then lump you (along with your entire cohort of fellow fans) into a category. Seems fair to me. In this case, the category is True Detective characters and the question is as follows:
Which True Detective character is your SEC fan base?
[Quick Note: You’re going to get pissed if you’re not Cohle or Marty. Stop that. Everyone on this show sucks in their own way. Still, sorry to all of you that I piss off (I'M NOT SORRY. SO MUCH QUIZ. VERY WOW.)]
Let’s do it:
Charlie Lange – Mississippi State
You are from the backwoods. No one can understand what the hell you are saying. You were involved in some shady dealings and got caught (I see you Kenny Powers). We also know as soon as we see you that you will not play much of a part in this story. Except when you randomly do in the most unexpected ways.
Maisie Hart – Vanderbilt
You’re perfect. You’re smart. But you don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Audrey Hart – Arkansas
If it’s any consolation this character goes from the back of a car with two guys to a seemingly decent life. Maybe there’s hope for you too?
Steve Geraci – Missouri
We had kinda sorta heard of you early on in the story. But you were mainly drunk and pretty pointless. Then all of a sudden you were like the damn main character. What’s the deal? Who are you? Where did all of your success come from? I’m suspicious because you seem so darn nice…
Ginger – Ole Miss
You are white, extremely prone to mob mentality, and have a history of some pretty serious racism. Almost all of that racist what-not came with religious undertones. You have some serious clout right now, but you tend to screw things up in the end (cf. Dr. Bo’s fumble).
Lisa – Kentucky
You serve no other purpose than ruining things for everyone else. Especially for Marty (see below).
Reggie Ledoux – LSU
You saw this one coming too. You use “x” in a way that no one on earth really understands. Moreover, you’re crazy and your craziness manifests itself as aggression. You also absolutely know someone who does one or both of the following: 1.) cooks crystal 2.) lives in shack on the bayou. Bonus points if you know someone who does both of those things. Not saying you’re terrible. You mean a lot to the story, and everyone wants to understand you. But, well, if we let you hang around too long (and drink enough) you’re likely to do some messed up stuff.
Beth – South Carolina
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Things really sucked for you in the early days. Like really really really really sucked. But then you found the right guy via the right amount of money and things are better now. Sure you try to entice everyone with naked photos (see Spurrier “thrust” dot gif) and offers of kinky sex (why do you always play on Thursday nights?) but in the end you’re not a main character and no one ever expects you not to be anything other than a ticking dumpster bomb.
Billy Lee Tuttle – Auburn
We’re pretty sure you were into some pretty shady shit (Cam, Real Sports). But no one ever really caught you for it. Since that time you have gained lots of power and influence. And that makes most of us hate you.
Maggie – Florida
You are as good a character as your marriages. You had a great one to begin with that ran its course (Spurrier). Then one that was just about money and success (Meyer). There was that time in between those two that you did something you really regret (Zook), but all in all you are a key character. As much as I wanted to say you were the lady the Killer was banging I just can’t. You’re better than that. But we don’t respect you as much as we used to (Muschamp).
Errol/Yellow King? – Alabama
Come on, now. You saw this one coming. Anything involving incest, psychosis, and a desire for your crazy ass obsession to turn you into some sort of deified legend obligates me to equate that with Bama. Sorry.
Marty – Tennessee
You are so convinced you are good. Like so convinced. And maybe you are. For a moment. But then you’re back to banging stenographers or contemplating having anal sex with a former trailer park hooker (cf. buttchuging). You also tend to rage out a lot man. I mean why are you so angry all the time? You’re a big deal. You don’t have to prove it all the time. You can turn it around. But you seem so unable to get out of your own way. We love you. We want you to do good things. But we know better.
Cohle – Texas A&M
This one is exactly what you think it is. You’re the most interesting character in this story. But your inability to stop drinking or to just stop in general will be your undoing. Or will it perhaps make you even better than before? We don’t know. Because this is the last season we get to watch you.
Det. Papania – Georgia
Yes, UGA fans this is us. Here’s how I got here. We’re pretty much a nice guy but we do dumb shit all the time that gets in our way. More accurately, we make really stupid EARLY MOVES (smoke pot, boat under the influence, etc.) that bar us from any of the glory at the end. We have the killer fall in our laps only to get directions from him and drive away. Will we finish strong? Oh yeah. Will we get the killer? Nope, nope, nope. But we will show up at the crime scene and people will be like, “Man, I wonder what that guy is gonna do NEXT season.”
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That’s all I got/
I wasn’t pulling your leg yesterday when I said this was one of the best recruiting classes of the Mark Richt era (more thoughts on episode 35 of the DudeYouPodcast). This class has stars, depth, position-fillers and everything one could hope for. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that may not be enough.
Lost in the hoopla of yet another Top 10 recruiting class is the fact that a Top 10 class is hardly a point of differentiation within the SEC. Over the past five years, seven SEC teams (Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, LSU, Tennessee and Texas A&M) have pulled in Top 10 classes. All seven of those teams have done it more than once.
The data is even more discouraging when those seven teams are analyzed over four-year periods to reflect the entire team’s talent. In other words, if we measure the classes from 2011-2014 to identify how much talent Georgia should (in theory) have on its roster next season, the results are equally lacking in distinction. The chart below shows how these seven teams stack up over four-year trailing averages.
In 2014, Georgia will be the SEC’s fourth most talented team for the third straight season. Each year, Alabama, LSU and Florida have held an edge over the Dawgs.
That’s all I got/
The SEC pulled in a ridiculous amount of talent this week. You can’t argue with that. No conference signed more Top 10, Top 20, Top 50 or Top 100 players. The SEC signed more 5-star recruits than the rest of the nation combined, and no conference signed more 4-star prospects. Seven of the nation’s 10 best recruiting classes hail from the Southeastern Conference. The SEC notched 10 Top 25 classes. No SEC class dropped out of the Top 50.
The SEC dominated National Signing Day. There’s no other way to put it.
Unfortunately, the conference has been building to this level of recruiting success for several years and the lasting impact on the league could be drastic—in a negative way.
Parity is already at an all time high in the SEC, and that parity (as you can read here) is erasing margin for error in the nation’s best football conference. This combined with both a top-heavy core of talented teams and the rise of bottom-feeders makes perfection hard to achieve. What does that mean? The SEC is beating itself.
That’s not a new concept, but the influx of talent in 2014 will worsen its effects. And while a college football playoff may make it easier for a one (or even two) loss SEC team to continue to contend for national championships, a more alarming trend may reduce the conference’s chance for success: The SEC’s most talented team is rarely winning the conference title.
Read more on the thoughts and the impact of the SEC’s recruiting dominance here (warning: lots of stats).
That’s all I got/
Hey, how’s your Thursday going?
Like SEC football?
Feeling productive today?
How would you like it if you all of a sudden…weren’t so productive today?
Good Bull Hunting has put together an interactive map of all of the SEC commits by hometown, name, and star rating, and it is absolutely fascinating. I meant to post this last night but I got too involved in this thing. DID YOU KNOW ALABAMA AND ARKANSAS BOTH PULLED 4-STAR O-LINEMEN FROM MINNEFRICKINSOTA?
Enjoy, folks. All we have between now and August is Spring Practice. And soul searching on the fact that the SEC pulled zero commits from Canada and Mexico combined.
Giving you the business,