Category Archives: NFL

NFL Football: Death to Fantasy + Week 14 Picks


You see that? Week 14, that’s NUTS. We’ve got one more month of regular season football, some playoffs, then it’s all over. Then, I get basketball drunk until June, ignore sports all summer (GO AWAY BASEBALL), and after what feels like 50 years, I FINALLY get football again. Knowing this, you’d assume that I’d be soaking in every precious drop of life sustaining football before being cast out into the sports desert that is the offseason. You’d be wrong. Why am I actively cheering for the end of the regular season?

Fantasy football.

The rule of thumb is that no one ever cares about your fantasy team, mostly because discussing it is selfish, and this is the second time this season I’ve whined about this voluntary activity. But this is it. I’m going to wave goodbye to my League fees this year and walk away for at least a year. Why you ask? I spent last Sunday cheering specifically AGAINST the Broncos defense which is a ridiculous thing to say, and maybe a year off will make me care more about games, and less about how many yards Frank Gore is going to get this week (the answer is a million now because I missed the playoffs and it doesn’t matter). When I am bitching about my fantasy team next year because I get roped into playing because I’m an idiot, feel free to throw this blog in my face.

Let’s get to picks before I get sad(der).

Home team in bold.

Cowboys (-???) over Bears

Clearly, I’m not counting this one after the fact, but man oh man, the Cowboys won 9 games. I bet they still find a way to go 8-8.

Bengals (+3) over Steelers

Gibe me the team with the better defense playing at home. The Benagls have flirted with the stupid elusive ‘elite’ tag all year, teasing their fans with the prospect of back to back division titles, but this might be another year where Marvin Lewis coaches well until the playoffs.

Rams (-3) over Washington Professional Football Team

Be a bigger dumpster fire Washington. You can’t . You can’t.

Giants (-1) over Titans

When the season ends, do you think they just change the locks on the facility, and let Coughlin slowly figure out he’s fired, or what? Maybe he can stay on like the last 10 years of Bobby Bowden, standing around as a monument to past greatness without actually doing anything.

Panthers (+10) over Saints

*WARNING* Repeated gambling exposure to NFC South football can result in abject hatred of self and lack of money.

Vikings (-6) over Jets

The upside to having no more bye weeks is more football. The downside is this entire early slate of games. Go to the park or something.

Ravens (+2.5) over Dolphins

That’s from last week’s game, where time ran out because the receiver didn’t get out of bounds. Try not to stupid away this week Ravens.

Colts (-3.5) over Browns

FREE JOHNNY FOOTBALL. Although…

#Smart

Lions (-10) over Buccaneers

*NFC SOUTH ALERT*

Texans (-6) over Jaguars

I was cheering for Clowney to be good, so his slow start has been disappointing. But then I watched everything JJ Watt is doing this season, and realized that Clowney being great would ruin the league. Good god, Watt is TERRIFYING.

Broncos (-10) over Bills

This week, the new Bills ownership got them out of that colossally stupid Toronto deal. Only one piece of good news a week Bills fans. That’s the deal you made with Ymir the Frost Giant.

Chiefs (-1) over Cardinals

I bet Patrick Peterson learned the dangers of chirping at Julio. It’s funny to slowly watch the entire Cardinals fanbase re-learn the dangers of hope.

Seahawks (+1) over Eagles

Mr. Sherman, this is Mark Sanchez. He’ll be throwing you the ball Sunday.

Niners (-8) over Raiders

Winner gets Harbaugh. Just kidding, he’s going to Michigan while the Raiders continue to Raider.

Patriots (-3.5) over Chargers

Tom Brady at night? Tom Brady at night.

Falcons (+13) over Packers

I need this. Sure, Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback int he NFL, but 13 points is a lot and…sigh. I guess I hate real football almost as much as fantasy.

Enjoy the games.

Last Week: 9-5

Season: 70-58-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Week 11 Picks


For Auburn thoughts, take a listen to the not yet award-winning Dude You Podcast, as this week I got to sit with Andrew and Jason and break down the #BEATEMDOWN Georgia’s gonna hand the Tigers/War Eagles/Whatevers. That means no pomp, no circumstance, just straight FIRE picks this week.

As always, home team is in bold.

Dolphins (-4) over Bills

Nailed it.

Falcons (-1) over Panthers

Look, I’ve accepted that the NFC South is a straight up dumpster fire, but the fact that the Falcons are JUST outside playoff hunt is the most compelling argument for playoff seeding reform I’ve ever heard. That said, if I can watch the Falcons lose in the first round at home over Christmas, I’ll take it.

Bears (-3) over Vikings

I’ll bet the “teams hanging 50 on the Bears” streak ends this week.

Browns (-3) over Texans

Serious question: are Bryan Hoyer and Ryan Mallett happy to be starting, or quietly pining for those clipboard days in New England? Seriously. These guys were getting paid to get Tom Brady coffee and collect AFC East Championships, and now they’re starring in the Brady Backup Bowl for these teams.

Chiefs (-2) over Seahawks

So, Kansas City STILL hasn’t allowed a rushing touchdown this season, and the defending champs are allergic to covering this season. Easy money. Me writing this pretty much solidified a Seattle win.

Bengals (+7) over Saints

Oh, Vegas still thinks New Orleans is good? That’s hilarious.

Washington Professional Football Team (-7) over Buccaneers

Is there an option not to pick either team? No? Dammit.

Broncos (-9.5) over Rams

Don’t love this bet, but at the same time I don’t think this Rams team is built to play from behind, and you’re going to be behind at some point against Peyton.

Niners (-4) over Giants

How do you fire Tom Coughlin? I’m not entirely sure you can. After this season, he’s gotta go, but do the Mara’s just call him in and convince him to step down, or mutually part ways? He feels like a tenured professor, or a college coach with a prohibitive buyout. Fortunately, Bomani Jones has a solution.

Chargers (-29) over Raiders

Just kidding, but you’d be on board with this pick, right?

Chargers (-10) over Raiders

The Chargers are falling apart, but they are still a bunch of professional football players. The Raiders, I’m pretty sure is just performance art on how bad a team can be.

Packers (-6) over Eagles

Everyone says this Chip Kelly offense is quarterback proof. I’m pretty sure Mark Sanchez will be testing this theory.

People don’t forget Mark.

Cardinals (-1) over Lions

I do not enjoy picking against Matt Stafford, but I think lack of Carson Palmer down the stretch is going to be good for this Arizona team.

Patriots (+3) over Colts

Tom Brady at night y’all.

Steelers (-6) over Titans

In another string of great Jason Smith predictions, I drafted Titans receivers on my fantasy team. I hate Jason.

Enjoy the games.

Last Week: 7-6

Season: 61-53-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

 

 

NFL Football: Florida Hate Week + Week 9 Picks


If you’re up to date with the not-yet award winning Dude You Podcast, then you know how lukewarm this hate week has been for me. Not because I don’t hate Florida, never that; this is a school that ruined my childhood of Georgia fandom. I was pretty sure that it was a rule that Georgia lose this game until I was about 20, and by then, I had the warm embrace of alcohol to numb the sadness. We sit on the cusp of not only an expected strong showing against the school in Gainesville, but for an opportunity to produce secure a senior class that has NEVER lost to Florida.

Read that again. N-E-V-E-R. 16 year old Daniel’s head just exploded.

Georgia stealing one of these games used to be a rarity, and last night, Jason and I (Run The Pod) basically joked about margin of victory after he went on one of his patented ridiculous fan fiction stories outlining how Florida can win this game. So, please recognize that my lukewarm approach to #FloridaHateWeek is not a dimming of passion against the Gators, oh no. It’s more a quiet recognition that I’m screaming into the abyss that has become the Florida fan base. Whether it’s ones who can write (Spencer Hall) or ones who shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard (twitter), the reaction from Florida faithful has been somewhere between apathy and openly cheering against their team. Hey Florida fans, can you at least fake it so that I don’t feel like we’re all on the same team? Takes all the fun out of beating you.

Nailed It.

Well, not ALL the fun. ON TO THE PICKS.

As always, home team is in bold.

Panthers (-3) over Saints

That thing little kids do to make a fart noise by blowing against their hand? That’s the sound of the NFC South.

Browns (-6.5) over Buccaneers

In winning this bet, please be sure not to be exposed directly to the NFC South. These warnings are for your own well being.

Cardinals (+4) over Cowboys

Time to play Who is Going to Ruin this Cowboys Season? Early leader is Jerry Jones in the being Jerry Jones division, but let’s not forget Tony Romo’s Back, Jason Garret’s Gingerness and the fact that Brandon Weedon might be involved in some of these upcoming games. You can play at home too! Just remember, Jerry Jones being Jerry Jones is undefeated for like 20 years now.

Eagles (-2) over Texans

You’ve really got to ask your self if getting Clowney back offsets trotting out Ryan Harvard Fitzpatrick again this week. I think not. #SafetySchool EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL.

 

Chiefs (-9.5) over Jets

How does Rex Ryan still have a job? I mean, I’m not great at this, but it’s not technically a job. Still, if I showed the general lack of competency week after week, the Dude would either sit me down to fix things, or just change the site password so I couldn’t post. This isn’t a shot at Chad’s DudeYouGamblin posts, but it’s not not a shot at Chad’s DudeYouGamblin posts.

Bengals (-11) over Jags

Rough week for the people of Jacksonville. First they get to watch a man get fired on the field (sorry Will!) but then they get treated to watching their hometeam get beat up by the Bungals. Good times!

Dolphins (-2.5) over Chargers

West coast playing an early game back east. Old gambling trick.

Vikings (EVEN) over Washington Professional Football Team

I got in a real life conversation with a mouth-breather regarding the name of Washington’s football team, and if your best defense is, ‘this is the way it’s always been done,’ then congrats on being the NCAA.

Niners (-10) over Rams

Please don’t gamble on this game.

Patriots (+3) over Broncos

THIS is a marquee matchup that should probably be in primetime so I could bet on Peyton and not watch it.  Now I honestly have no idea what’s going to happen, but I have learned my lesson about betting against the Pats at home this season.

Seahawks (-15) over Raiders

NOPE.

Ravens (-2) over Steelers

I know it’s not logical to think that Ben threw all his touchdowns last week, but you can’t prove it’s not true.

Colts (-3) over Giants

Don’t watch this game. Watch Killer Mike give you advice on life. First time I clicked on this video, I thought it would be a joke too, but it’s actually just legit life advice.

Last Week: 9-6

Season: 54-47-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Fantasy Football + Week 8 Picks


Minor technological hiccups ate the blog last week, but I’m back to continue the war against the machines today. I know you all appreciate my efforts. This year, I saw two fantasy leagues I was in dissolved and I desperately rushed into a league JUST so I could light an undisclosed sum of money on fire. At press time, my best running back beats his kid, my best receiver has a busted foot in Cincy, and my flex specialist just got traded to the Jets.

What’s the point?

Seriously. At least once a year, I get violently angry at myself, vow to quit and never come back, and envision a world where the yardage totals in a game I care nothing about don’t matter to me at all. I want to enjoy a football season without hoping that Percy Harvin won’t cost me money by being an asshole in the locker room. I miss being disappointed by the Falcons, and moving on with my day. Someone find this post, and when I start getting weird about football next year (over/under the MLB All-Star break), throw this in my face and convince me not to flush an undisclosed sum of money down the toilet.

We missed last week, but let’s be honest, the picks would have continued my trend of sustained mediocrity. As always, home teams are in bold.

Broncos (- Don’t bet against Peyton Manning at night) over Chargers

I was too busy trying (and failing) to log on to Skype last night for the podcast to tweet out this pick before the game, but the Peyton Manning at night thing is real. If gambling were legal, I would have figured this out in college when I lost an undisclosed sum of money betting against 18 in a night game. If gambling were legal.

Falcons (+3.5) over Lions

HOLY CRAP 9:30 AM FOOTBALL! I’m excited and scared all at the same time; mostly because Columbia’s homecoming is this weekend, and god knows where I’ll be at 9:30 Sunday morning. Oh, and I’m glad we get to continue the tradition of passive-aggressively sending two crappy teams to play in front of a disinterested crowd in London. I’m less glad that the Falcons are one of these crappy teams. Damn you Hard Knocks/offensive line depth.

Chiefs (-7) over Rams

I don’t think Jeff Fisher will be trying that cute ish on the road.

Texans (-3) over Titans

Mettenberger is the best quarterback involved in this game, but the Texans are the better team.

Vikings (+2.5) over Bucs

The NFC South is historically horrific part 1!

Seahawks (-4.5) over Panthers

The NFC South is historically horrific part 2! I remember looking on the schedule, and being excited for this matchup. now, the NFC South is a tire fire, and Percy Harvin is a Jet. Thanks Obama.

Ravens (-1) over Bengals

Can we start a GoFundMe for AJ Green, Andre Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald to be liberated off of their current squads, and shipped to teams with actual NFL caliber quarterbacks so we can more super-watchable games? Please?

Dolphins (-6) over Jaguars

Not fooling me Jags. I know your dirty tricks.

Patriots (-6) over Bears

Remember when I got to make all those ‘Brady is done’ comments? It feels like a year ago.

Bills (+3) over Jets

Hey, network TV. Stop trying to sell me the World Series. No one – AND I MEAN NO ONE – cares. So, toss me a few thousand more Gotham (Batman Begins minus Batman!) or Red Band Society (because real life isn’t depressing enough!) promos, and stop selling me baseball. It’s football season for god sakes.

Eagles (+2.5) over Cardinals

Chip Kelly back y’all.

EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL .

Browns (-6.5) over Raiders

This is the time to start JFF. Let his reign of terror begin!

Peter King’s head would explode. Which is good for everyone.

Colts (-3.5) over Steelers

Andrew Luck continues to have a horseshow both on his helmet and shoved way up his <redacted>.

Packers (+1.5) over Saints

WHAT YEAR IS THIS? How are the Saints favored over the Packers? Does the public REALLY like Drew Brees that much? Look, the NFC South is trash, and the Pack has looked great since Rodgers proved he could spell.

Cowboys (-10) over Washington Professional Football Team

Colt McCoy. #HesStillInTheLeague All-Pro. Keep getting them checks Colt.

Last Week: 9-4-1

Season: 45-41-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: #FreeGurley + Week 6 Picks


So…any big UGA news these days?

Look, I’ve we’ve long crowed on this site about how much we hate the NCAA, and how it’s a corrupt institution and needs to be razed off of the landscape of sports. Hell, I’ll even save you the trouble of linking each blog, but rest assured they’re out there. Bottom line, this is ANOTHER symptom of the vileness of the most corrupt institution in sport (non-FIFA and IOC division), and if this is what it takes for you to care about the injustice carried under the pretense of amateurism, then you are a self-absorbed insular fan, and I will openly mock your old line of thinking.

That said, welcome aboard!

We all get here different ways, but I’m glad we’re all united under #DeathToTheNCAA. Not just for this RIDICULOUS Gurley suspension, but for every kid whose name we don’t know who should have guaranteed scholarships, better protection against brain trauma, access to funds to cover living expenses, the ability transfer without penalty, and sports related medical expenses NOT come from their own pocket. Pretty crazy stuff, right? I’m sad it took Todd getting in trouble for more people to get on board, but if that’s what it takes to get change, well, it’s not worth it because dammit I want to see him holding the Heisman above his head this year.

We went through most of this on the podcast last night, but some final thoughts:

1. There is no way that he should sit for more than a half if what we’re hearing is true.

2. Todd, I KNOW I can get you more than 5 bucks an autograph. Holla at your boy.

3. I want Evil Mark Richt to play him without asking anyone and giving the middle finger to the camera if asked about his decision. TELL THE PEOPLE CAM.

Now, PICKS. Home teams, as always, in bold.

Colts (-2.5) over Texans

Handing out Thursday night winners, while maintaining an unimpressive overall win/loss record. IT’S WHAT I DO.

Falcons (-3) over Bears

I’m petitioning to have the Falcons change the team name to the vampires, since this squad seems to die in direct sunlight.

Titans (-1) over Jaguars

Welcome to the official “if you’re betting this game, seek help” line of the week!

Ravens (-3) over Buccaneers

Tampa Bays friskiness against the Saints ain’t fooling me!

Lions (+2) over Vikings

Is it possible this Detroit team’s unpredictability without Calvin Johnson is a good thing? Yeah, I didn’t think so, but I like betting against rookie quarterbacks.

Patriots (-2.5) over Bills

The Neckbeard is dead. Long live the Neckbeard.

Bengals (-6.5) over Panthers

Is the AFC North sneaky the best division this year? I was blown away by how bad Cincy looked against New England, but I think that was an outlier for both sides. Either way, this Carolina team is no angry Tom Brady.

Browns (-1.5) over Pittsburgh

Have the Browns covered every game this year? It feels like they have.

Packers (-3) over Dolphins

If I watch 1 second of this game, something has gone horribly awry.

Chargers (-7) over Raiders

The “Who’s moving to LA in the next 18 months” Bowl!

Seahawks (-8) over Cowboys

Chill in the air. Dominant defensive backfield. Pundits telling us that Romo is back. IT’S ABOUT THAT TIME FOLKS.

Cardinals (-3) over Washington Professional Football Team

My favorite analogy for the NFL season is the sandwich one. We all love a good sandwich, and building one is a pure joy we can all empathize with. Once you take a few bites, you’re so enamored with everything, you barely realize you’re devoring a masterpiece, and maybe not enjoying it as much as you should. We’re at week 6 folks, and a quarter of our NFL season sandwich is gone. Let’s enjoy the rest of it. Maybe I shouldn’t write these around lunch.

Eagles (-2.5) over Giants

After how Odell Beckham looked last week, and the fact that the Philly offense has been misfiring, the logical pick is the Giants. BUT, Boyz II Men are performing at halftime, so Philly wins by 40. Fact.

Niners (-3) over Rams

What’s an Austin Davis?

Last Week: 8-7

Season: 36-37-3

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

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