Category Archives: NFL

NFL Football: #FreeGurley + Week 6 Picks


So…any big UGA news these days?

Look, I’ve we’ve long crowed on this site about how much we hate the NCAA, and how it’s a corrupt institution and needs to be razed off of the landscape of sports. Hell, I’ll even save you the trouble of linking each blog, but rest assured they’re out there. Bottom line, this is ANOTHER symptom of the vileness of the most corrupt institution in sport (non-FIFA and IOC division), and if this is what it takes for you to care about the injustice carried under the pretense of amateurism, then you are a self-absorbed insular fan, and I will openly mock your old line of thinking.

That said, welcome aboard!

We all get here different ways, but I’m glad we’re all united under #DeathToTheNCAA. Not just for this RIDICULOUS Gurley suspension, but for every kid whose name we don’t know who should have guaranteed scholarships, better protection against brain trauma, access to funds to cover living expenses, the ability transfer without penalty, and sports related medical expenses NOT come from their own pocket. Pretty crazy stuff, right? I’m sad it took Todd getting in trouble for more people to get on board, but if that’s what it takes to get change, well, it’s not worth it because dammit I want to see him holding the Heisman above his head this year.

We went through most of this on the podcast last night, but some final thoughts:

1. There is no way that he should sit for more than a half if what we’re hearing is true.

2. Todd, I KNOW I can get you more than 5 bucks an autograph. Holla at your boy.

3. I want Evil Mark Richt to play him without asking anyone and giving the middle finger to the camera if asked about his decision. TELL THE PEOPLE CAM.

Now, PICKS. Home teams, as always, in bold.

Colts (-2.5) over Texans

Handing out Thursday night winners, while maintaining an unimpressive overall win/loss record. IT’S WHAT I DO.

Falcons (-3) over Bears

I’m petitioning to have the Falcons change the team name to the vampires, since this squad seems to die in direct sunlight.

Titans (-1) over Jaguars

Welcome to the official “if you’re betting this game, seek help” line of the week!

Ravens (-3) over Buccaneers

Tampa Bays friskiness against the Saints ain’t fooling me!

Lions (+2) over Vikings

Is it possible this Detroit team’s unpredictability without Calvin Johnson is a good thing? Yeah, I didn’t think so, but I like betting against rookie quarterbacks.

Patriots (-2.5) over Bills

The Neckbeard is dead. Long live the Neckbeard.

Bengals (-6.5) over Panthers

Is the AFC North sneaky the best division this year? I was blown away by how bad Cincy looked against New England, but I think that was an outlier for both sides. Either way, this Carolina team is no angry Tom Brady.

Browns (-1.5) over Pittsburgh

Have the Browns covered every game this year? It feels like they have.

Packers (-3) over Dolphins

If I watch 1 second of this game, something has gone horribly awry.

Chargers (-7) over Raiders

The “Who’s moving to LA in the next 18 months” Bowl!

Seahawks (-8) over Cowboys

Chill in the air. Dominant defensive backfield. Pundits telling us that Romo is back. IT’S ABOUT THAT TIME FOLKS.

Cardinals (-3) over Washington Professional Football Team

My favorite analogy for the NFL season is the sandwich one. We all love a good sandwich, and building one is a pure joy we can all empathize with. Once you take a few bites, you’re so enamored with everything, you barely realize you’re devoring a masterpiece, and maybe not enjoying it as much as you should. We’re at week 6 folks, and a quarter of our NFL season sandwich is gone. Let’s enjoy the rest of it. Maybe I shouldn’t write these around lunch.

Eagles (-2.5) over Giants

After how Odell Beckham looked last week, and the fact that the Philly offense has been misfiring, the logical pick is the Giants. BUT, Boyz II Men are performing at halftime, so Philly wins by 40. Fact.

Niners (-3) over Rams

What’s an Austin Davis?

Last Week: 8-7

Season: 36-37-3

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Thursday Night Is a Joke + Week 5 Picks


I am done. I’m done pretending to care about these Thursday games, and I’m done pretending that these are watchable football exercises. The Falcons ethering the Bucs notwithstanding, none of the games this year haven’t been great, and in years past they were just as bad. The average margin of victory in the NFL this season is 12.5. On Thursday night that number jumps to 31.25. Maybe there really IS something to making a team play two games in 4 days that leads to such a bad, unwatchable product, but if there’s one thing the NFL is sure of: we’re gonna watch.

Not me. I’ll pick the games, I’ll post some gifs, I’ll even make fun of the results, but I am done with non-Thanksgiving NFL Thursday Night games.

*Makes sure the Falcons aren’t playing any more Thursday night games this season*

DONE. See, if you got sucked into that game last night, you surely missed Oregon pooping on themselves on national television. While I was far from excited to watch Aaron Rodgers burn one down against the Vikings, I WAS interested in watching the Oregon Highlighters Ducks lose on a Thursday night.

I cheer for chaos in non-Georgia college football, and Arizona beating Oregon in Eugene is simultaneously the most chaotic and non-Georgia thing that could have happened. Now, I get to relax as Georgia goes to beat up on Troy Vanderbilt, and the woodchipper that is the SEC West schedule picks up.

PICKS! Home team, as always, in bold.

Packers (-7.5) over Vikings

And that’s BEFORE I knew that Teddy wouldn’t play.

Falcons (+4) over Giants

Gimmie dem points, gimmie the return of Harry Douglas, gimmie the bounce back and the reemergence of Bad Eli.

Bears (+2.5) over Panthers

Cam Newton is WAY more hurt than he’s letting on, there are no effective running backs left on the joint Carolina team, and last week showed that no matter how good that front 7 is, the back-end is a little suspect.

Browns (+1) over Titans

Two teams going in very different directions, as I can believe the Browns have gotten better, and I blame Jason for the fact that I have a Titans receiver on my fantasy team.

Eagles (-7) over Rams

I told myself that I was going to bail on the blingee once Foles had a bad game, and HOLY CRAP that San Francisco game was the PICTURE of terribleness.

Buccaneers (+10) over Saints

New Orleans, come on down! You’re our latest contestant on “the NFL team that everyone is going to realize is bad at the last possible second since they’ve been perceived as good for a while now.” Also appearing on the show this season: the Patriots!

Cowboys (-6.5) over Texans

I’m betting on the Cowboys to stay with the dominating running game, which means Tony Romo is going to drop back 45 times this weekend. I hate Dallas because there is a legit 85% chance this is going to happen.

Lions (-7) over Bills

WELCOME BACK NECK BEARD! By the way, the fact that they are pulling the plug on their second year quarterback after 4 games for the DEFINITION of short-term solution that is Kyle Orton tells you 1. how bad the AFC East is, B. how bad Manuel was and IV. that everyone thinks this division is wide open since the Patriots might be terrible.

Colts (-3.5) over Ravens

So, because I have the best girlfriend in the world, I’m going to WWE Smackdown taping here in Philly next Tuesday. Do me a solid, and shoot me sign suggestions either in the comments or on twitter. Thanks.

Steelers (-6) over Jacksonville

Um, did Jacksonville sign Superman? Why is this line so low? You’d think that I would do a LITTLE research for this blog. You’d be wrong.

Cardinals (-7.5) over Broncos

Arizona covers and Peyton wins. He’s gonna cross the 500 touchdown barrier in this game because the world is unfair.

Niners (-5.5) over Chiefs

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE A RUNNING TEAM SO I DON’T BENCH FRANK GORE FOR STEPHEN BLEEPING JACKSON! No wonder ownership is trying to get rid of Harbaugh. He’s the worst.

Chargers (-6) over Jets

They want to keep starting Geno, I’ll keep taking the easy win in the picks blog.

Bengals (-1) over Patriots

Watching the Patriots be bad is ALMOST as good as laughing at the Saints. Almost.

Seahawks (-7) over Washington Professional Football Team

Style on em Pete.

pete carroll

 

Last Week: 6-6-1

Season: 28-30-3

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Homecoming + Week 4 Picks


I got nothing.

I’ve spent the last (looks at calendar) call it 2 months reasonably outraged by sports, but I say no more. I’m in Atlanta for the weekend, UGA is going to DOMINATE that godawful Tennessee team on Saturday, and I refuse to let a bunch of idiots mess up my mood any more. There are way too many good stories in sports these days for me to focus on the other stuff.

Being home puts things in perspective that way, and the fact that I am going to see the greatest rap duo of all time (at least) once this weekend helps that perspective. If you’re in Atlanta, I implore you to beg, borrow and steal you way into Centennial Olympic Park this weekend, and find Chad Floyd and pepper him with ACC football questions. And take pictures with him. Lots of pictures.

Displaying IMG_2257.JPG

Never Forget

Now, for the one thing that could even POSSIBLY ruin my weekend: NFL Picks. As always, home teams are in bold.

Washington Professional Football Team (-3) over Giants

In my Steve Spurrier voice, “WHELP!” Look, prior to last night, Thursday night road teams were outscored by a total of 82 points over the first three weeks of the season. I apologize for nothing.

Bears (+2) over Packers

Yeah Packers fans, your team is just in the bottom half of the NFL in both passing and rushing, and their traveling to take on a very good Bears team.  PERFECT time to relax.

Texans (-3) over Bills

Welcome to the noodle arm quarterback bowl! In all seriousness, there’s a contingent of Bills fans who think that my picking against them is good luck. I mean, there has to be SOME reason they won those first two weeks, I just don’t know it. If I have this power, I plan to wield it unjustly and unfairly.

Colts (-7.5) over Titans

Remember when Jake Locker was a thing? The way we were, am I right?

Ravens (-3) over Panthers

It’s here guys. The Steve Smith Sr. Revenge Bowl is here. If I told you that he was going to play free safety, blitz every play and somehow still go for a 100 yards, you’d believe me. And THAT’S why this is a much watch. DeAngelo Williams knows.

Lions (-2) over Jets

LOLGENOSMITHLOL

Steelers (-7.5) over Buccaneers

I feel a little bad for Lovie Smith. Just a little.

Raiders (+3.5) over Dolphins

Our passive-aggressive war against England continues with our annual tradition of shipping an unwatchable football game to Wembley. 1776! 1776! 1776!

CUE THE MUSIC!

Falcons (-3) over Vikings

Teddy, welcome to the NFL. Try not to take this ass whipping personal, it’s just business. (Pun not intended, but totally intended)

Chargers (-13) over Jaguars

Every week, I think that the Jags line is too high, and every week I pick against them reluctantly. And then I win. The Streak lives.

Eagles (+5) over Niners

The Eagles are by far the best second half team in the league. The Niners are being outscored 52-3 in second halves this season. CUE THE BLINGEE!!

Cowboys (+3) over Saints

Irrational Totally rational hatred of the Saints notwithstanding, I think they might be the team Vegas doesn’t realize is bad yet. Stay tuned.

Patriots (-3) over Chiefs 

And the Andy Reid Kool-Aid Man goes back into hibernation. It was a good one game winning streak for KC.

WEEK 4 BEST BETS: Patriots, Falcons, Chargers

Last Week: 8-7-1

Season: 22-24-2

Best Bets Last Week: 0-3

Best Bets Season: 1-8

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

 

NFL Football: Week Three GIF Round Up


The UGA Vault is giving away a VIP Game Day Experience for the Tennessee/Georgia game complete with tickets and tailgating supplies! Entering the contest just takes two minutes.  Go here to learn more!

 

Welcome to your weekly NFL GIF round up. Please stay seated, and keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times,.

Falcons 56, Buccaneers 14

So much abuse in this game, the NFL is going to claim they never saw the tape.

hester

Cowboys 34, Rams 31

A pick six happened, and Tony Romo didn’t throw it (jk lol, he totally threw one, but this one ended the game).

Washington Professional Football Team 34, Eagles 37

DJacc made a splashy return to Philly, but the Eagles won the fight started by the second GIF, and then they won the game.

DeSean Jackson Scores 81-Yard Touchdown, Taunts Former Team

Big Hit On Nick Foles Sparks Brawl Between Eagles And Washington

Vikings 9, Saints 20

Saints got their first win of the year, but there was no way I was not gonna run this GIF. BAH GAWD, THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY! (Jim Ross voice, of course)

brees

Titans 7, Bengals 33

Titans fans: Andy Dalton is stylin’ on you. That is all.

a

Ravens 23, Browns 21

I am absolutely giddy at the idea of the Steve Smith Sr. revenge tour vs. the Panthers next week. He may ask to play offense AND defense.

Packers 7, Lions 19

Stephen Tulloch tore his ACL celebrating a sack. It’s not indicative of the game, but it IS indicative of the Lions.

Raiders 9, Patriots 16

FATMAN TOUCHDOWN INTERCEPTION!

Vince Wilfork Pinball Interception Locks Up New England Win

Broncos 20, Seahawks 26

INSANE fourth quarter and overtime, as the Broncos put up a better showing than the Super Bowl, just not good enough. Not the way you want to come back from suspensions/concussions for Welker here.

Chiefs 34, Dolphins 15

Hartline sunk the putt, but the Chiefs won their first game.  CUE KOOL-AID ANDY REID!

Brian Hartline Flagged For Golfing Touchdown Celebration

Steelers 37, Panthers 19

This is an interpretive GIF, wherein Joey Porter represents the Carolina Panthers.

Careful, Joey!

Bears 27, Jets 19

This is who you are Jets
jets
Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

It’s never too early to get ready for the next game! Some of the greatest plays in Georgia history came against the Tennessee Volunteers. Get ready for the matchup with the Vols by watching those highlights for free on The UGA Vault. Click here to download it for FREE!

NFL Football: Redemption + Week 3 Picks


A wise man once said, to be the man, you gotta beat the man.

Now, I’m not saying I’m going to let the Tao of Flair (not a religion, but should be) COMPLETELY guide my picks, but something has gotta give. Classic overreaction to week one by my resulted in the not-so-great record you see below, but at least we can agree that last week’s picks column at least had a well-written preamble.

Maybe? No?

Whatever.

Bottom line is that I’m back, we’re back, and we’re not gonna quit picking these things until I run out of metaphorical money. Especially after watching the mighty Falcons DOMINATE last night, I’m inspired to both be great, and to publicly embarrass my enemies. If you want to know how bad it got for the Bucs, you really only need one tweet:

Ouch. On to redemption week picks. As always, home teams are in bold.

Falcons (-7) over Bucs

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, and the ‘your pick was in after the game’ crowd? Find me a time over the last two years I picked against the Falcons. You can’t. You can’t. #EarlyGIFRoundUp

hester

Bills (-1) over Chargers

All my Bills fan friends, I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY. The fact that I have Bills fan friends means that I have made seriously poor choices in life.

Cowboys (-1) over Rams

It’s not December, so Romo should be fine. Yes, I used that joke in week three last year, but if it ain’t broke…

Texans (-2) over Giants

Jason Pierre-Paul said that he’s not worried about stopping the Texans offense. I think he should be worried about stopping his own offense. Thanks, I’m here all week, tip your bartenders. 0-2 Giants chirping in the media: good idea or bad idea?

Saints (-10) over Vikings

(insert joke about the Saints getting moved to the Exempt/Commissioner’s Permission List for the beating they are going to put on Minnesota)

Bengals (-7) over Titans

The Bengals have a great defense that ran roughshod over my Birds last week. I don’t mean to suggest by any means that the Titans are better than Atlanta, but they have weapons, a decent quarterback, and a pretty good defense of their own. Nope, couldn’t do it. Switched the pick.

Ravens (-2) over Browns

The Browns barely lost to the Steelers in an overtime game in week one. The Ravens and Bengals might be the class of this division. G’night Browns. Upside, this is going to get us closer to JFF’s first start in Week 10 with the returning Josh Gordon.

Packers (+1) over Lions

Aaron Rodgers likes your indoor football field and climate control and – MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THE TOUCHDOWNS.

Colts (-7) over Jags

The Jags are the worst team in football…

Patriots (-14) over Raiders

I stand corrected.

Eagles (-6.5) over Washington Professional Football Team

Both teams beat the Jags, but one team is starting Kirk Cousins. The other team is starting THIS MAN:

Cardinals (+3) over Niners

Did you know that the underdogs are 20-13 against the spread this season? Cold world.

Seahawks (-4.5) over Broncos

I feel like this could be the movie sequel no one asked for, and makes everyone uncomfortable. Like Cruel Intentions 2. DID YOU KNOW THERE’S A CRUEL INTENTIONS 2?

Dolphins (-3.5) over Chiefs

There are more and more rumors coming out regarding the status of Jammal Charles, but it’s not like Andy Reid uses his running backs anyway.

Panthers (-3) over Steelers

Gonna be a LONG year for Ben and company.

Bears (+2.5) over Jets

Brandon Marshall is the fantasy player who is probable all week, then a game time decision so you sit him. But then of course he plays, and scores 3 touchdowns, and you’re the idiot who left a ton of points on the bench. This happened to a friend of mine. Seriously, it wasn’t me; I’m the idiot who drafted Adrian Peterson.

WEEK 2 BEST BETS: Bills, Texans, Colts

Last Week: 5-10-1

Season: 14-17-1

Best Bets Last Week: 0-3

Best Bets Season: 1-5

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

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