Category Archives: NFL

The Officially Official DYC Super Bowl Preview


Here we are again; the inevitable end of the football season, and the inevitable begin of counting down to the next football season. Make no mistake – this is America’s Game now, and waiting for more football is the second most popular sport. The NFL has had the PR season from hell, and ratings haven’t budged. As a nation, we get outraged over the audacity of the League to lie to us on multiple fronts…during the week. Come Sunday? A collective voice rings out across the land, echoing from all 50 states:

“GIVE US OUR FOOTBALL.”

And give us football they shall. The most dominant 15 year run in the salary cap era vs. an emerging defensive dynasty is a helluva storyline the NFL has handed us. We’re going to go over what happens when each team has the ball, some friends of the blog are gonna make some picks, and we’re gonna have some fun. I’ll be checking in Sunday with all your prop betting needs, but I want to do more. I want to help you win even more money with a prop in this blog, so this next one’s on me. Four straight years I’ve won this bet, and it’s the first prop I find when the line comes out.

National anthem over/under.

This year, we’ve got Idina Menzel singing the anthem, and Wikipedia says she’s a Broadway singer who used to be married to Taye Diggs. Sure, her ex-husband doesn’t matter at all, but this was literally the only name I recognized on her Wikipedia page. The line this year is a logical 2:01, which means that someone is paying attention to the money I’ve been winning. It’s safe to assume that she’s not going for the record (Alicai Keys , 2:36), but she want’s to be respectable. Toss in the fact that they’re in Glendale with good conditions, and I get the feeling she’ll want to show off. Bang the over.

(Blah blah I’ve overthought this blah blah crippling gambling addiction. Grow up.)

I’ve been made aware that Ms. Menzel sings the Frozen song. As a 29-year old man with no children, I remain blissfully under informed about this movie or song. Back to the blog!

I have no rooting interest in this game, as both teams are generally unlikable. Except for these two guys.

Get them a sitcom, a buddy cop movie, or an advice column ASAP.

On to the Super Bowl. FWIW, I reserve the right to Chad Ford any pick that I get wrong going forward. Didn’t know that was an option until now, to be honest. Next year, when I’m retroactively perfect against the spread, thank Chad Ford.

NEW ENGLAND @ SEATTLE

When We Last Saw New England: They were murder-death-killing the Colts by a billion points, which everyone has conveniently forgotten about in the face of BALLGHAZI. A couple of quick points about this non-scandal: 1. Every quarterback adjusts inflation to their own liking, and if you believe every other quarterback is within the acceptable parameters all the time, you’re crazy. 2. We’ve seen grown men on television nearly cry over deflated ball, impassioned calls for justice from owners, and the swift moving machine of the NFL collect video and statements and commission reports. But they never saw the Ray Rice video. Right.

Moving on so the Shield doesn’t shut down this blog, the Patriots played basically their dream game against the Colts. Passing at will, they were able to even activate their heretofore optional running game, all stemming from the abilities of their monster tight end to affect the defense. The Pats pass to set up the run, and early success downfield against the Seahawks will allow them to control the clock. Gronkowski’s presence on the field will force adjustments out of this Seattle defense, and New England’s ability to utilize him to occupy the safeties in the passing game will decide their offensive success.

Defensively, I don’t feel great about this Patriot side. They are going against a multifaceted offense with a front that has generated a grand total of ZERO sacks in the playoffs thus far. And you know what? Russell Wilson is TONS more mobile than Flacco or Luck. Then again, the defense has stepped up when they needed to (twin comebacks in the same game against Baltimore). Plus, who’s really betting against the bad guys?

When We Last Saw Seattle: Seattle was finding a way to win (copyright every coach ever) in overtime against the Packers. Russell Wilson looked super pedestrian (or concussed!) for the majority of the game, but cleared out the cobwebs in time to scratch and claw his way back to another Super Bowl. Take away that Matthews hit and subsequent crappy quarterback play, and the Seattle offense looked the same way it has all year; dominant running game setting up big plays downfield. No team has really thrown a wrench in this plan since Seattle’s last loss before Thanksgiving, and that kind of consistency is rare these days. Every team since Week 12 knew this was their plan, and could do absolutely nothing to stop it. Also – #WheelRoutes. They’re coming.

The Patriot offense appears to match up on paper well with this Seahawks Voltron-esque defense. Chancellor and Thomas will have their attentions focused on the middle of the field with the propensity of Brady to look for both his tight ends and his running backs when the outside receivers are taken away, and trust me: Maxwell and Sherman will help take the outside away. The Patriots offensive line has gotten exponentially better over the course of the season, but the Seattle front four is a unique challenge that they need to be ready for. Old timey land baron Pete Carroll says they won’t be.

pete carroll

THE PICK: I’ve got my opinion, but I turned to friends of the blog for their opinions because hey, the more the merrier.

Kriss (owner/operator of Movie Trailer Reviews, tolerates me ruining his podcast once a week, @insanityreport) – “I’ll take the Seahawks but only because I don’t want to get fined.”

Leonard (owner L. Brothers Media, viewer of life through Tar Heel blue lenses, @LBrothersMedia) – “Seattle. I just hope to see Skittles flying and Marshawn trolling in the post game interviews.”

Chad Floyd (writer at DudeYouCrazy.net, former intern, @Chad_Floyd) – “Seahawks. Thank you, Patriots, for again making a mockery of Super Bowl week and providing our mainstream media with extreme #HOTSPORTSTAKES. I hope you burn in hell.”

Brandi Mills (writer at The Big Spur , Google Hangouts beard gang member, @brandicmills) – “34-23 Seahawks.”

I then asked Brandi to elaborate for the blog. So what happened next is my fault.

“To the window
(/•_•)/
to the wall
\(•_•\)
Till the air drips out my balls

I’m so ashamed”

Michael Felder (lead college football writer at Bleacher Report, drinker of beer(s), @InTheBleachers) – “I don’t know about lines but gimme the Seahawks for sure. Love #AllRussellWilsonEverything & the LOB is going to put the paws on the Pats.”

Rodimus Prime (host of the award-winning podcast The Black Guy Who Tips, better at podcasting than us, @rodimusprime) – “ I say the Seahawks win by 16. Black quarterback power and a dominant defense will expose Tom Brady’s spaghetti arm for what it is!”

Andrew Hall (site runner at DudeYouCrazy.net, mid-podcast vanisher, @DudeYouCrazy) – “Picking last huh? Taking the Patriots because if I’m right, I get to beat more people than if I take the Seahawks. That’s what we call fading the public. Old gambling secret.”

Partially because I’m a lover of defense at heart, and mostly because betting with Andrew is always a horrible idea, I’ve made my decision.

Seattle (+1) over New England

Get drunk, make deflation jokes during Katy Perry’s halftime show, and enjoy the game.

Oh, and buy Lipitor. Just in case they really are giving out money. DudeYouCrazy – Not for sale, but we’re taking payments.

CUE THE PATRIOTS’ MUSIC!

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air. Follow me at @dpalm66.

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FOOTBALL: Cardale Jones + NFL Championship Weekend Picks


Yesterday, Cardale Jones (he of the three starts and the national title and the amazing tweet) announced in a high school gym that he’d be returning to THE Ohio State University for another season of MeyerBall. Unlike what these festering wounds on the face of sports journalism would have you believe, he is not the first player to announce that he’s staying with an event. Hell, he’s not even the first Urban Meyer quarterback to do it. Remember Tim Tebow, walking journalist wet dream and weirdo evolution denier? He did this in The Swamp, and you’ve got a problem with a kid doing it in a high school gym?

Having dismissed problems with the delivery of this announcement, I’m of two minds of the actual announcement itself. On the one hand, it’s always a good thing when kid makes his education paramount, and that should be applauded. I personally made my college choice based on post-graduate opportunity (and now I’m writing for you people. Ball dropped, past Daniel), so maybe I should support this return to school. Hell, this kid said he wasn’t here to play school, and now he sees the value of education. On the other hand…

He wasn’t just handed a lottery ticket, he was handed an actual CHECK. People got mad about the ‘not here to play school’ tweet, but his scholarship says FOOTBALL, and this was the best situation he could have hoped for. Three games equals small sample size, but you want to tell me NO TEAM would take a flier on this kid? The only thing scouts love more than proven commodities is a prospect with a limitless upside that they can sell to their bosses. “Strike while the iron is hot” is the well-worn saying, not “Let hot irons cool, and hope they heat up again via a similar unforeseeable, unprecedented series of events”.

Why come back? J.T. is going to be the starter, since he’s Urban’s recruit and Cardale isn’t. Which means he’s going to spend ANOTHER year on the bench learning Meyer’s offense for free, as opposed to learning an NFL offense and getting paid to do so. He’s going to be a 23-year-old back up on a VERY good football team who will be hoping all this goodwill he’s gained through his play has a 1 year shelf life. Good luck with that.

On to this weekend’s games. As always, home team in bold:

Green Bay at Seattle

When We Last Saw Green Bay: Aaron Rodgers carried his team past America’s Team the Cowboys on a leg and half. Much has been made of the Dez Bryant catch/non-catch, but what no one is talking about is that even if Dallas had scored, they had yet to demonstrate an actual ability to stop and/or slow down the Green Bay hydra offense. Let’s say Dallas scores there; anyone want to bet against Rodgers in crunch time on a big stage? That’s what I thought.

Week 1 saw the defending champs take the Packers out behind the woodshed, and that was with a healthy Aaron Rodgers. I think he’ll be better in regards to attacking the secondary, but this is a Seattle team in full Spurs playoff ass-kicking mode. Eddie Lacy has taken more of the load down the Packers’ stretch run which should help tire out the Seattle defense, but Rodgers’ health and willingness to challenge the secondary will make the difference in this game.

When We Last Saw Seattle: Kam Chancellor and company were reminding the Panthers front office that they really need to build their skill positions more thoroughly to make their team more competitive. The Seattle octopus defense was in full display, slowly chocking the life out of Carolina over the course of a few hours. Offensively, Russell Wilson did Russell Wilson things, and the coaches were able to hold Marshawn to 17 touches, presumably so he can do things like this against Green Bay:

Lost in the domination that was the Seattle win last week, Carolina did put up a fight and more than few numbers. Cam Newton completed 23 of 36 passes and two touchdowns, and Green Bay is better offensively in every way to Carolina. A lot of the effect of the octopus plays out via intimidation, and it appears Rodgers has passed the point of being able to be shook.

THE PICK: Let’s not bury the lede: the Seattle defense is like Devestator, and is appropriately terrifying for opposing offenses. Especially on the biggest stages. Especially IN Seattle. But this Green Bay offense is the perfect storm; there’s no way to cue on a single receiver, they have a punishing running back who is an effective receiver in the passing game, and the offensive line does a great job against a 4-man rush. Seattle wins, but the smart play is that Green Bay is going to cover. This is going to be the best game of the weekend, and I can’t wait.

Packers (+7.5) over Seahawks

Indianapolis at New England

When We Last Saw Indianapolis: The Colts were presiding over the funeral pyre for Peyton Manning, and getting John Fox fired in Denver. I watched this game, I’m staring at the stats as I type this, and it still makes no sense to me. Luck turned in a very Luck-ian performance (not great, but with high points), ending up completing 63% of his passes for 2 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. Adding in a running game that could be generously called anemic, and…nope. Still makes no sense.

Logical or not, this Colts team spent the year beating up on the AFC South (congrats on winning your division by having a quarterback!), and now they’re in the AFC Title game. There’s much to be said about Andrew Luck vanquishing the quarterback standard bearers of the AFC on his way to a Super Bowl. Sounds like a great story. But, that’s a real tall order.

When We Last Saw New England: Baltimore and New England met again, and again produced another instant classic, where the Pats erased two 14-point deficits to take the win. This time, it took New England pulling out all the stops; getting a touchdown pass from Julian Edelman, and exploiting a loophole to confuse the Baltimore defense as to who was a legal receiver. If you ain’t Belicheatin’, you ain’t tryin’!

The biggest variable for the Patriots this year has been the health of Rob Gronkowski, as their entire offense seems to hinge on that giant meathead’s ability. He clocked in last week at 7 catches for 108 yards and a touchdown, so it’s safe to assume he’s feeling fine. If this were some other team, their lack of a running attack would worry me and any other logical observer of football. Since it’s the Patriots, I’ll assume this is the logical evolution of football, and I’m just behind.

THE PICK: Last week, these two teams ran the ball for a combined 41 times, with neither team breaking a hundred yards. I don’t know what game these two are playing, but I bet it’s built on a passing attack and being super watchable and entertaining. Points are going to come in bunches, and I’ve learned about betting against Tom Brady.

Patriots (-7) over Colts

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

 

NFL Football: Who Ate My Sandwich + Week 16 Picks


Remember that ham-fisted sandwich analogy we laughed about weeks ago? No? Well, I likened an NFL season to a well made sandwich, one that you enjoy more with every bite. But now, we’re staring at crust people, CRUST. All we’ve got left is this week, next week, and the whirlwind that is the NFL Playoffs.

Before we move forward, I wanted to thank everyone here at the DYC team for another great year, but especially all our new and old readers. This has been a great year for the site and podcast, and it’s only going to get better from here.

Now, on to the PICKS.

As always, home teams in BOLD

Jaguars (-3.5) over Titans

This is it. The final argument against Thursday night football. Good. Grief. If you’re gambling on this game, close this webpage and seek help immediately. In July, when I’m ignoring baseball, I’ll point to this to remind myself that more football isn’t always the answer. Ugh.

Eagles (-7.5) over Washington Professional Football Team

Jay Gruden has moved to the ‘openly trying to get fired’ phase of his Washington tenure, at a near record pace. A Jim Zorn-esque tour de force that continues to find new lows for the Dan Snyder era.

Chargers (+1) over Niners

Ladies and gentlemen, the newest coach of the Michigan Wolverines*…

*I mean, if he says yes. He probably won’t, so brace yourselves for THAT Michigan fans.

Falcons (+6) over Saints

I need this. Plus, LOOK AT ALL DEM  POINTS. I don’t know who wins this game, but I do know I’m looking forward to betting against the Big 10 NFC South representative in the playoffs.

Dolphins (-6.5) over Vikings

Miami throwing it’s hat in the ring for ‘team that gets frisky late, engendering irrational offseason confidence in fans and pundits”.

Ravens (-6) over Texans

Can JJ Watt play quarterback? Aren’t we as a nation ready to find out?

Lions (-8.5) over Bears

The Bears are starting Jimmy Clausen Sunday. So, how was the Marc Trestman era for you?

Never forget:

Panthers (PICK) over Browns

I’m not out on JFF yet, but that was NOT an encouraging start to what may yet be a promising career. Small sample size and all but this…this was not good.

Packers (-10.5) over Buccaneers

Related to the last pick, are we sure Mike Evans wasn’t making JFF look good down in Aggieland? Cause he’s the only watchable thing in Tampa these days.

Steelers (-3) over Chiefs

Be less dependable Steelers. I swear, every week is a coin flip with this team. At least they show you early who they have chosen to be.

Patriots (-10) over Jets

That’s a WHOLE bunch of points for a division game. Then again, it’s the Jets.

Rams (-5) over Giants

Odell Beckham is the only reason to watch any part of this game.

Bills (-6) over Raiders

Do me a quick favor. Close your eyes, and think about every Bills fan you knew at the start of the season. Shouldn’t take long. Now, open your eyes and search twitter for #BillsMafia, particularly those time stamped for last Sunday. Crazy, right?

Cowboys (-3) over Colts

Jinxing like you read about.

Seahawks (-7.5) over Cardinals

Bruce Arians is hands down Coach of the Year, but I gotta think this whole “next guy who can physically throw a football” quarterbacking system has problems against this Seattle team, which has turned it on down the stretch like the Spurs.

Broncos (-3) over Bengals

Go ahead and bet against Peyton Manning at night. Really good way to lose money.

Last Week: 9-5-1

Season: 79-63-5

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Death to Fantasy + Week 14 Picks


You see that? Week 14, that’s NUTS. We’ve got one more month of regular season football, some playoffs, then it’s all over. Then, I get basketball drunk until June, ignore sports all summer (GO AWAY BASEBALL), and after what feels like 50 years, I FINALLY get football again. Knowing this, you’d assume that I’d be soaking in every precious drop of life sustaining football before being cast out into the sports desert that is the offseason. You’d be wrong. Why am I actively cheering for the end of the regular season?

Fantasy football.

The rule of thumb is that no one ever cares about your fantasy team, mostly because discussing it is selfish, and this is the second time this season I’ve whined about this voluntary activity. But this is it. I’m going to wave goodbye to my League fees this year and walk away for at least a year. Why you ask? I spent last Sunday cheering specifically AGAINST the Broncos defense which is a ridiculous thing to say, and maybe a year off will make me care more about games, and less about how many yards Frank Gore is going to get this week (the answer is a million now because I missed the playoffs and it doesn’t matter). When I am bitching about my fantasy team next year because I get roped into playing because I’m an idiot, feel free to throw this blog in my face.

Let’s get to picks before I get sad(der).

Home team in bold.

Cowboys (-???) over Bears

Clearly, I’m not counting this one after the fact, but man oh man, the Cowboys won 9 games. I bet they still find a way to go 8-8.

Bengals (+3) over Steelers

Gibe me the team with the better defense playing at home. The Benagls have flirted with the stupid elusive ‘elite’ tag all year, teasing their fans with the prospect of back to back division titles, but this might be another year where Marvin Lewis coaches well until the playoffs.

Rams (-3) over Washington Professional Football Team

Be a bigger dumpster fire Washington. You can’t . You can’t.

Giants (-1) over Titans

When the season ends, do you think they just change the locks on the facility, and let Coughlin slowly figure out he’s fired, or what? Maybe he can stay on like the last 10 years of Bobby Bowden, standing around as a monument to past greatness without actually doing anything.

Panthers (+10) over Saints

*WARNING* Repeated gambling exposure to NFC South football can result in abject hatred of self and lack of money.

Vikings (-6) over Jets

The upside to having no more bye weeks is more football. The downside is this entire early slate of games. Go to the park or something.

Ravens (+2.5) over Dolphins

That’s from last week’s game, where time ran out because the receiver didn’t get out of bounds. Try not to stupid away this week Ravens.

Colts (-3.5) over Browns

FREE JOHNNY FOOTBALL. Although…

#Smart

Lions (-10) over Buccaneers

*NFC SOUTH ALERT*

Texans (-6) over Jaguars

I was cheering for Clowney to be good, so his slow start has been disappointing. But then I watched everything JJ Watt is doing this season, and realized that Clowney being great would ruin the league. Good god, Watt is TERRIFYING.

Broncos (-10) over Bills

This week, the new Bills ownership got them out of that colossally stupid Toronto deal. Only one piece of good news a week Bills fans. That’s the deal you made with Ymir the Frost Giant.

Chiefs (-1) over Cardinals

I bet Patrick Peterson learned the dangers of chirping at Julio. It’s funny to slowly watch the entire Cardinals fanbase re-learn the dangers of hope.

Seahawks (+1) over Eagles

Mr. Sherman, this is Mark Sanchez. He’ll be throwing you the ball Sunday.

Niners (-8) over Raiders

Winner gets Harbaugh. Just kidding, he’s going to Michigan while the Raiders continue to Raider.

Patriots (-3.5) over Chargers

Tom Brady at night? Tom Brady at night.

Falcons (+13) over Packers

I need this. Sure, Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback int he NFL, but 13 points is a lot and…sigh. I guess I hate real football almost as much as fantasy.

Enjoy the games.

Last Week: 9-5

Season: 70-58-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Week 11 Picks


For Auburn thoughts, take a listen to the not yet award-winning Dude You Podcast, as this week I got to sit with Andrew and Jason and break down the #BEATEMDOWN Georgia’s gonna hand the Tigers/War Eagles/Whatevers. That means no pomp, no circumstance, just straight FIRE picks this week.

As always, home team is in bold.

Dolphins (-4) over Bills

Nailed it.

Falcons (-1) over Panthers

Look, I’ve accepted that the NFC South is a straight up dumpster fire, but the fact that the Falcons are JUST outside playoff hunt is the most compelling argument for playoff seeding reform I’ve ever heard. That said, if I can watch the Falcons lose in the first round at home over Christmas, I’ll take it.

Bears (-3) over Vikings

I’ll bet the “teams hanging 50 on the Bears” streak ends this week.

Browns (-3) over Texans

Serious question: are Bryan Hoyer and Ryan Mallett happy to be starting, or quietly pining for those clipboard days in New England? Seriously. These guys were getting paid to get Tom Brady coffee and collect AFC East Championships, and now they’re starring in the Brady Backup Bowl for these teams.

Chiefs (-2) over Seahawks

So, Kansas City STILL hasn’t allowed a rushing touchdown this season, and the defending champs are allergic to covering this season. Easy money. Me writing this pretty much solidified a Seattle win.

Bengals (+7) over Saints

Oh, Vegas still thinks New Orleans is good? That’s hilarious.

Washington Professional Football Team (-7) over Buccaneers

Is there an option not to pick either team? No? Dammit.

Broncos (-9.5) over Rams

Don’t love this bet, but at the same time I don’t think this Rams team is built to play from behind, and you’re going to be behind at some point against Peyton.

Niners (-4) over Giants

How do you fire Tom Coughlin? I’m not entirely sure you can. After this season, he’s gotta go, but do the Mara’s just call him in and convince him to step down, or mutually part ways? He feels like a tenured professor, or a college coach with a prohibitive buyout. Fortunately, Bomani Jones has a solution.

Chargers (-29) over Raiders

Just kidding, but you’d be on board with this pick, right?

Chargers (-10) over Raiders

The Chargers are falling apart, but they are still a bunch of professional football players. The Raiders, I’m pretty sure is just performance art on how bad a team can be.

Packers (-6) over Eagles

Everyone says this Chip Kelly offense is quarterback proof. I’m pretty sure Mark Sanchez will be testing this theory.

People don’t forget Mark.

Cardinals (-1) over Lions

I do not enjoy picking against Matt Stafford, but I think lack of Carson Palmer down the stretch is going to be good for this Arizona team.

Patriots (+3) over Colts

Tom Brady at night y’all.

Steelers (-6) over Titans

In another string of great Jason Smith predictions, I drafted Titans receivers on my fantasy team. I hate Jason.

Enjoy the games.

Last Week: 7-6

Season: 61-53-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

 

 

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