Category Archives: NFL

NFL Football: Week 11 Picks


For Auburn thoughts, take a listen to the not yet award-winning Dude You Podcast, as this week I got to sit with Andrew and Jason and break down the #BEATEMDOWN Georgia’s gonna hand the Tigers/War Eagles/Whatevers. That means no pomp, no circumstance, just straight FIRE picks this week.

As always, home team is in bold.

Dolphins (-4) over Bills

Nailed it.

Falcons (-1) over Panthers

Look, I’ve accepted that the NFC South is a straight up dumpster fire, but the fact that the Falcons are JUST outside playoff hunt is the most compelling argument for playoff seeding reform I’ve ever heard. That said, if I can watch the Falcons lose in the first round at home over Christmas, I’ll take it.

Bears (-3) over Vikings

I’ll bet the “teams hanging 50 on the Bears” streak ends this week.

Browns (-3) over Texans

Serious question: are Bryan Hoyer and Ryan Mallett happy to be starting, or quietly pining for those clipboard days in New England? Seriously. These guys were getting paid to get Tom Brady coffee and collect AFC East Championships, and now they’re starring in the Brady Backup Bowl for these teams.

Chiefs (-2) over Seahawks

So, Kansas City STILL hasn’t allowed a rushing touchdown this season, and the defending champs are allergic to covering this season. Easy money. Me writing this pretty much solidified a Seattle win.

Bengals (+7) over Saints

Oh, Vegas still thinks New Orleans is good? That’s hilarious.

Washington Professional Football Team (-7) over Buccaneers

Is there an option not to pick either team? No? Dammit.

Broncos (-9.5) over Rams

Don’t love this bet, but at the same time I don’t think this Rams team is built to play from behind, and you’re going to be behind at some point against Peyton.

Niners (-4) over Giants

How do you fire Tom Coughlin? I’m not entirely sure you can. After this season, he’s gotta go, but do the Mara’s just call him in and convince him to step down, or mutually part ways? He feels like a tenured professor, or a college coach with a prohibitive buyout. Fortunately, Bomani Jones has a solution.

Chargers (-29) over Raiders

Just kidding, but you’d be on board with this pick, right?

Chargers (-10) over Raiders

The Chargers are falling apart, but they are still a bunch of professional football players. The Raiders, I’m pretty sure is just performance art on how bad a team can be.

Packers (-6) over Eagles

Everyone says this Chip Kelly offense is quarterback proof. I’m pretty sure Mark Sanchez will be testing this theory.

People don’t forget Mark.

Cardinals (-1) over Lions

I do not enjoy picking against Matt Stafford, but I think lack of Carson Palmer down the stretch is going to be good for this Arizona team.

Patriots (+3) over Colts

Tom Brady at night y’all.

Steelers (-6) over Titans

In another string of great Jason Smith predictions, I drafted Titans receivers on my fantasy team. I hate Jason.

Enjoy the games.

Last Week: 7-6

Season: 61-53-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

 

 

NFL Football: Florida Hate Week + Week 9 Picks


If you’re up to date with the not-yet award winning Dude You Podcast, then you know how lukewarm this hate week has been for me. Not because I don’t hate Florida, never that; this is a school that ruined my childhood of Georgia fandom. I was pretty sure that it was a rule that Georgia lose this game until I was about 20, and by then, I had the warm embrace of alcohol to numb the sadness. We sit on the cusp of not only an expected strong showing against the school in Gainesville, but for an opportunity to produce secure a senior class that has NEVER lost to Florida.

Read that again. N-E-V-E-R. 16 year old Daniel’s head just exploded.

Georgia stealing one of these games used to be a rarity, and last night, Jason and I (Run The Pod) basically joked about margin of victory after he went on one of his patented ridiculous fan fiction stories outlining how Florida can win this game. So, please recognize that my lukewarm approach to #FloridaHateWeek is not a dimming of passion against the Gators, oh no. It’s more a quiet recognition that I’m screaming into the abyss that has become the Florida fan base. Whether it’s ones who can write (Spencer Hall) or ones who shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard (twitter), the reaction from Florida faithful has been somewhere between apathy and openly cheering against their team. Hey Florida fans, can you at least fake it so that I don’t feel like we’re all on the same team? Takes all the fun out of beating you.

Nailed It.

Well, not ALL the fun. ON TO THE PICKS.

As always, home team is in bold.

Panthers (-3) over Saints

That thing little kids do to make a fart noise by blowing against their hand? That’s the sound of the NFC South.

Browns (-6.5) over Buccaneers

In winning this bet, please be sure not to be exposed directly to the NFC South. These warnings are for your own well being.

Cardinals (+4) over Cowboys

Time to play Who is Going to Ruin this Cowboys Season? Early leader is Jerry Jones in the being Jerry Jones division, but let’s not forget Tony Romo’s Back, Jason Garret’s Gingerness and the fact that Brandon Weedon might be involved in some of these upcoming games. You can play at home too! Just remember, Jerry Jones being Jerry Jones is undefeated for like 20 years now.

Eagles (-2) over Texans

You’ve really got to ask your self if getting Clowney back offsets trotting out Ryan Harvard Fitzpatrick again this week. I think not. #SafetySchool EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL.

 

Chiefs (-9.5) over Jets

How does Rex Ryan still have a job? I mean, I’m not great at this, but it’s not technically a job. Still, if I showed the general lack of competency week after week, the Dude would either sit me down to fix things, or just change the site password so I couldn’t post. This isn’t a shot at Chad’s DudeYouGamblin posts, but it’s not not a shot at Chad’s DudeYouGamblin posts.

Bengals (-11) over Jags

Rough week for the people of Jacksonville. First they get to watch a man get fired on the field (sorry Will!) but then they get treated to watching their hometeam get beat up by the Bungals. Good times!

Dolphins (-2.5) over Chargers

West coast playing an early game back east. Old gambling trick.

Vikings (EVEN) over Washington Professional Football Team

I got in a real life conversation with a mouth-breather regarding the name of Washington’s football team, and if your best defense is, ‘this is the way it’s always been done,’ then congrats on being the NCAA.

Niners (-10) over Rams

Please don’t gamble on this game.

Patriots (+3) over Broncos

THIS is a marquee matchup that should probably be in primetime so I could bet on Peyton and not watch it.  Now I honestly have no idea what’s going to happen, but I have learned my lesson about betting against the Pats at home this season.

Seahawks (-15) over Raiders

NOPE.

Ravens (-2) over Steelers

I know it’s not logical to think that Ben threw all his touchdowns last week, but you can’t prove it’s not true.

Colts (-3) over Giants

Don’t watch this game. Watch Killer Mike give you advice on life. First time I clicked on this video, I thought it would be a joke too, but it’s actually just legit life advice.

Last Week: 9-6

Season: 54-47-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Fantasy Football + Week 8 Picks


Minor technological hiccups ate the blog last week, but I’m back to continue the war against the machines today. I know you all appreciate my efforts. This year, I saw two fantasy leagues I was in dissolved and I desperately rushed into a league JUST so I could light an undisclosed sum of money on fire. At press time, my best running back beats his kid, my best receiver has a busted foot in Cincy, and my flex specialist just got traded to the Jets.

What’s the point?

Seriously. At least once a year, I get violently angry at myself, vow to quit and never come back, and envision a world where the yardage totals in a game I care nothing about don’t matter to me at all. I want to enjoy a football season without hoping that Percy Harvin won’t cost me money by being an asshole in the locker room. I miss being disappointed by the Falcons, and moving on with my day. Someone find this post, and when I start getting weird about football next year (over/under the MLB All-Star break), throw this in my face and convince me not to flush an undisclosed sum of money down the toilet.

We missed last week, but let’s be honest, the picks would have continued my trend of sustained mediocrity. As always, home teams are in bold.

Broncos (- Don’t bet against Peyton Manning at night) over Chargers

I was too busy trying (and failing) to log on to Skype last night for the podcast to tweet out this pick before the game, but the Peyton Manning at night thing is real. If gambling were legal, I would have figured this out in college when I lost an undisclosed sum of money betting against 18 in a night game. If gambling were legal.

Falcons (+3.5) over Lions

HOLY CRAP 9:30 AM FOOTBALL! I’m excited and scared all at the same time; mostly because Columbia’s homecoming is this weekend, and god knows where I’ll be at 9:30 Sunday morning. Oh, and I’m glad we get to continue the tradition of passive-aggressively sending two crappy teams to play in front of a disinterested crowd in London. I’m less glad that the Falcons are one of these crappy teams. Damn you Hard Knocks/offensive line depth.

Chiefs (-7) over Rams

I don’t think Jeff Fisher will be trying that cute ish on the road.

Texans (-3) over Titans

Mettenberger is the best quarterback involved in this game, but the Texans are the better team.

Vikings (+2.5) over Bucs

The NFC South is historically horrific part 1!

Seahawks (-4.5) over Panthers

The NFC South is historically horrific part 2! I remember looking on the schedule, and being excited for this matchup. now, the NFC South is a tire fire, and Percy Harvin is a Jet. Thanks Obama.

Ravens (-1) over Bengals

Can we start a GoFundMe for AJ Green, Andre Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald to be liberated off of their current squads, and shipped to teams with actual NFL caliber quarterbacks so we can more super-watchable games? Please?

Dolphins (-6) over Jaguars

Not fooling me Jags. I know your dirty tricks.

Patriots (-6) over Bears

Remember when I got to make all those ‘Brady is done’ comments? It feels like a year ago.

Bills (+3) over Jets

Hey, network TV. Stop trying to sell me the World Series. No one – AND I MEAN NO ONE – cares. So, toss me a few thousand more Gotham (Batman Begins minus Batman!) or Red Band Society (because real life isn’t depressing enough!) promos, and stop selling me baseball. It’s football season for god sakes.

Eagles (+2.5) over Cardinals

Chip Kelly back y’all.

EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL .

Browns (-6.5) over Raiders

This is the time to start JFF. Let his reign of terror begin!

Peter King’s head would explode. Which is good for everyone.

Colts (-3.5) over Steelers

Andrew Luck continues to have a horseshow both on his helmet and shoved way up his <redacted>.

Packers (+1.5) over Saints

WHAT YEAR IS THIS? How are the Saints favored over the Packers? Does the public REALLY like Drew Brees that much? Look, the NFC South is trash, and the Pack has looked great since Rodgers proved he could spell.

Cowboys (-10) over Washington Professional Football Team

Colt McCoy. #HesStillInTheLeague All-Pro. Keep getting them checks Colt.

Last Week: 9-4-1

Season: 45-41-4

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: #FreeGurley + Week 6 Picks


So…any big UGA news these days?

Look, I’ve we’ve long crowed on this site about how much we hate the NCAA, and how it’s a corrupt institution and needs to be razed off of the landscape of sports. Hell, I’ll even save you the trouble of linking each blog, but rest assured they’re out there. Bottom line, this is ANOTHER symptom of the vileness of the most corrupt institution in sport (non-FIFA and IOC division), and if this is what it takes for you to care about the injustice carried under the pretense of amateurism, then you are a self-absorbed insular fan, and I will openly mock your old line of thinking.

That said, welcome aboard!

We all get here different ways, but I’m glad we’re all united under #DeathToTheNCAA. Not just for this RIDICULOUS Gurley suspension, but for every kid whose name we don’t know who should have guaranteed scholarships, better protection against brain trauma, access to funds to cover living expenses, the ability transfer without penalty, and sports related medical expenses NOT come from their own pocket. Pretty crazy stuff, right? I’m sad it took Todd getting in trouble for more people to get on board, but if that’s what it takes to get change, well, it’s not worth it because dammit I want to see him holding the Heisman above his head this year.

We went through most of this on the podcast last night, but some final thoughts:

1. There is no way that he should sit for more than a half if what we’re hearing is true.

2. Todd, I KNOW I can get you more than 5 bucks an autograph. Holla at your boy.

3. I want Evil Mark Richt to play him without asking anyone and giving the middle finger to the camera if asked about his decision. TELL THE PEOPLE CAM.

Now, PICKS. Home teams, as always, in bold.

Colts (-2.5) over Texans

Handing out Thursday night winners, while maintaining an unimpressive overall win/loss record. IT’S WHAT I DO.

Falcons (-3) over Bears

I’m petitioning to have the Falcons change the team name to the vampires, since this squad seems to die in direct sunlight.

Titans (-1) over Jaguars

Welcome to the official “if you’re betting this game, seek help” line of the week!

Ravens (-3) over Buccaneers

Tampa Bays friskiness against the Saints ain’t fooling me!

Lions (+2) over Vikings

Is it possible this Detroit team’s unpredictability without Calvin Johnson is a good thing? Yeah, I didn’t think so, but I like betting against rookie quarterbacks.

Patriots (-2.5) over Bills

The Neckbeard is dead. Long live the Neckbeard.

Bengals (-6.5) over Panthers

Is the AFC North sneaky the best division this year? I was blown away by how bad Cincy looked against New England, but I think that was an outlier for both sides. Either way, this Carolina team is no angry Tom Brady.

Browns (-1.5) over Pittsburgh

Have the Browns covered every game this year? It feels like they have.

Packers (-3) over Dolphins

If I watch 1 second of this game, something has gone horribly awry.

Chargers (-7) over Raiders

The “Who’s moving to LA in the next 18 months” Bowl!

Seahawks (-8) over Cowboys

Chill in the air. Dominant defensive backfield. Pundits telling us that Romo is back. IT’S ABOUT THAT TIME FOLKS.

Cardinals (-3) over Washington Professional Football Team

My favorite analogy for the NFL season is the sandwich one. We all love a good sandwich, and building one is a pure joy we can all empathize with. Once you take a few bites, you’re so enamored with everything, you barely realize you’re devoring a masterpiece, and maybe not enjoying it as much as you should. We’re at week 6 folks, and a quarter of our NFL season sandwich is gone. Let’s enjoy the rest of it. Maybe I shouldn’t write these around lunch.

Eagles (-2.5) over Giants

After how Odell Beckham looked last week, and the fact that the Philly offense has been misfiring, the logical pick is the Giants. BUT, Boyz II Men are performing at halftime, so Philly wins by 40. Fact.

Niners (-3) over Rams

What’s an Austin Davis?

Last Week: 8-7

Season: 36-37-3

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

NFL Football: Thursday Night Is a Joke + Week 5 Picks


I am done. I’m done pretending to care about these Thursday games, and I’m done pretending that these are watchable football exercises. The Falcons ethering the Bucs notwithstanding, none of the games this year haven’t been great, and in years past they were just as bad. The average margin of victory in the NFL this season is 12.5. On Thursday night that number jumps to 31.25. Maybe there really IS something to making a team play two games in 4 days that leads to such a bad, unwatchable product, but if there’s one thing the NFL is sure of: we’re gonna watch.

Not me. I’ll pick the games, I’ll post some gifs, I’ll even make fun of the results, but I am done with non-Thanksgiving NFL Thursday Night games.

*Makes sure the Falcons aren’t playing any more Thursday night games this season*

DONE. See, if you got sucked into that game last night, you surely missed Oregon pooping on themselves on national television. While I was far from excited to watch Aaron Rodgers burn one down against the Vikings, I WAS interested in watching the Oregon Highlighters Ducks lose on a Thursday night.

I cheer for chaos in non-Georgia college football, and Arizona beating Oregon in Eugene is simultaneously the most chaotic and non-Georgia thing that could have happened. Now, I get to relax as Georgia goes to beat up on Troy Vanderbilt, and the woodchipper that is the SEC West schedule picks up.

PICKS! Home team, as always, in bold.

Packers (-7.5) over Vikings

And that’s BEFORE I knew that Teddy wouldn’t play.

Falcons (+4) over Giants

Gimmie dem points, gimmie the return of Harry Douglas, gimmie the bounce back and the reemergence of Bad Eli.

Bears (+2.5) over Panthers

Cam Newton is WAY more hurt than he’s letting on, there are no effective running backs left on the joint Carolina team, and last week showed that no matter how good that front 7 is, the back-end is a little suspect.

Browns (+1) over Titans

Two teams going in very different directions, as I can believe the Browns have gotten better, and I blame Jason for the fact that I have a Titans receiver on my fantasy team.

Eagles (-7) over Rams

I told myself that I was going to bail on the blingee once Foles had a bad game, and HOLY CRAP that San Francisco game was the PICTURE of terribleness.

Buccaneers (+10) over Saints

New Orleans, come on down! You’re our latest contestant on “the NFL team that everyone is going to realize is bad at the last possible second since they’ve been perceived as good for a while now.” Also appearing on the show this season: the Patriots!

Cowboys (-6.5) over Texans

I’m betting on the Cowboys to stay with the dominating running game, which means Tony Romo is going to drop back 45 times this weekend. I hate Dallas because there is a legit 85% chance this is going to happen.

Lions (-7) over Bills

WELCOME BACK NECK BEARD! By the way, the fact that they are pulling the plug on their second year quarterback after 4 games for the DEFINITION of short-term solution that is Kyle Orton tells you 1. how bad the AFC East is, B. how bad Manuel was and IV. that everyone thinks this division is wide open since the Patriots might be terrible.

Colts (-3.5) over Ravens

So, because I have the best girlfriend in the world, I’m going to WWE Smackdown taping here in Philly next Tuesday. Do me a solid, and shoot me sign suggestions either in the comments or on twitter. Thanks.

Steelers (-6) over Jacksonville

Um, did Jacksonville sign Superman? Why is this line so low? You’d think that I would do a LITTLE research for this blog. You’d be wrong.

Cardinals (-7.5) over Broncos

Arizona covers and Peyton wins. He’s gonna cross the 500 touchdown barrier in this game because the world is unfair.

Niners (-5.5) over Chiefs

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE A RUNNING TEAM SO I DON’T BENCH FRANK GORE FOR STEPHEN BLEEPING JACKSON! No wonder ownership is trying to get rid of Harbaugh. He’s the worst.

Chargers (-6) over Jets

They want to keep starting Geno, I’ll keep taking the easy win in the picks blog.

Bengals (-1) over Patriots

Watching the Patriots be bad is ALMOST as good as laughing at the Saints. Almost.

Seahawks (-7) over Washington Professional Football Team

Style on em Pete.

pete carroll

 

Last Week: 6-6-1

Season: 28-30-3

Love this? Hate it? Think I’m an idiot? Don’t just curse at me under your breath, head to the Dude You Podcast iTunes page, and leave a 5-star review to make sure I know it, and have your voice heard on the air.

Looking for Georgia Bulldogs football highlights on your phone? Download the UGA Vault for free from the iTunes App Store. Just click here. It’s that easy.

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