Category Archives: Big 12

Schadenfruede Alerts All Over the Country: Your Week 9 Viewing Guide

Hustling through this because its currently 11:15 and this is supposed to go live in 20 minutes… shoddy scheduling on my part this week.

Thursday Thrillers

And by ‘thrillers’, I mean in the Halloween way, not the games themselves:

1) Miami at Virginia Tech, 8, ESPN: Oh, the ACC Coastal. Coastal

Seriously though, that’s amazing. Only Georgia Tech among these seven has played more than three conference games, and the transitive property has eaten the whole division. GET YOUR FLORIDA STATE vs. <insert 7-5 team here> TICKETS NOW!

2) Connecticut at #18 ECU, 7, ESPNU: ECU in the AAC feels like they’re swimming way out of their depth based on opponent cache alone, but they’re really, REALLY fun to watch and could be a (whatever they call the BCS 6 now) bowl buster.


1) #6 Oregon at Cal, 10, FS1: The over/under on total yards for this game has to be in the 1600 range. We know what Oregon does, but what Cal does is even more impressive. They gave up 723 passing yards and WON a game this year, took UCLA to the wire, and have hung (and given up) 50 on about everyone. This is football on crack.

2) BYU at Boise (9, ESPN) and USF at Cincinnati (7, ESPN2) exist for people with no life. Of which I hope I’m not one with this oncoming cold.


This is the most deplorable noon slate of the college football season, I think. A total of two ranked teams, one of whom doesn’t count because B1G.

1) Texas at #11 Kansas State (12, ESPN): Texas schadenfruede is always fun, Bill Snyder is always heartwarming, and…Texas schadenfruede is always fun.

2) Rutgers at #16 Nebraska (12, ESPN2): What’s more vomit-inducing: including this game on the viewing guide, or cheering for Rutgers to further destroy the B1G’s rep? I don’t know and I don’t want to know, but I suppose we can all laugh that the state universities of New Jersey and Nebraska are in the same athletic conference.

Beyond: Nothing really. Like at all. UNC at UVA intrigues only me, and I realize that. UAB at Arkansas is on the SECN and may draw an eyeball or two. Just stay away.


There’s a lot of good, not great, viewing interest for the 3:30’s, but we need TV execs to balance their stuff out a little better.

1) Michigan at #8 Michigan State (3:30, ABC): For pure “what will Brady Hoke do to get himself and the AD’s asses canned this week?” purposes.

2) #1 Mississippi State at Kentucky (3:30, CBS): Just like we predicted in the preseason. I guess we cheer for MSU to eliminate the BlueCats.

3) #22 West Virginia at Oklahoma State (3:30, ESPN): My two favorite likely-to-find-meth-den Power Five cities face off in a game between teams we forget about now but will randomly be playing for the XII title in a month.

4) Georgia Tech at Pitt (3:30 ESPNU): See chart above, insert ‘watching GT lose in front of 25k fans’, and enjoy watching the world burn in the stadium where….well, that’s happened before:

5) Missouri at Vanderbilt (4, SECN): Pure, unadulterated unintentional comedy potential.


Seriously. All of the good SEC games are under the lights.

1) #3 Ole Miss at #24 LSU (7:15, ESPN): Again begs the question “How is LSU ranked?”, but that’s neither here nor there, I guess. Tuning in to continue my unhealthy man crush on Mississippi’s D.

2) #4 Alabama at Tennessee (7:30, ESPN2): Pure. Lane. Kiffin. Knoxville. Comedy. Gold.

3) #20 USC at #19 Utah (10, FS1): I’m interested in seeing if Utah is actually good or not, and bipolar USC is totally not the opponent for me to make this determination.

4) South Cack at #5 Auburn (7:30, SECN): So…uh…do we…cheer for SC in this game? I think we do! (Vomits up blood) GO COCKS!

5) #13 Ohio State at Penn State (8, ABC): Go Pedobears, please kill this discussion of tOSU in the CFP with fire.



Georgia Football: Categorizing Threats to the Dawgs’ Playoff Hopes

While I never went so far as to project a loss in either of Georgia’s two Todd Gurley-less trips to two of America’s more anonymous states, I am <insert giddy Madlib here> that the Dawgs are going into the bye and November with a stranglehold on the SEC East. Ranked #9 in both polls, Georgia finds itself in very good position to make the first College Football Playoff assuming they win out. With extremely winnable games against Florida, Kentucky, Charleston Southern, and Georgia Tech, one pins his hopes on beating Auburn and whomever emerges from the SEC West nuclear holocaust.

The Bulldogs are in better shape than you think for the playoff. According to ESPN’s Playoff Predictor Index, the Dawgs are #4 behind Auburn, Alabama, and Ole Miss with a 24% chance of being included in the final four. Even a loss to Auburn followed by a win in Atlanta puts the Dawgs in incredible shape. Let’s analyze what stands in their way.

The SEC West

Unless the SEC Champion (i.e. the team who beats Georgia) is the West’s representative, the toughest division in college football will not have more than one team in the playoff. Let’s assume one gets in. That eliminates three from the group of Mississippi State, Ole Miss, Alabama, and Auburn. This’ll be settled on the field (with current AP rankings).

1) Mississippi State: 11/15 @ Alabama, 11/29 @ Ole Miss
3) Ole Miss: 11/1 vs. Auburn, 11/29 vs. MSU (and a visit to LSU for Gameday this weekend)
4) Alabama: 11/15 vs. Mississippi State, 11/29 vs. Auburn
5) Auburn: 11/1 @ Ole Miss, 11/29 @ Alabama (and @ Georgia on 11/15)

One is inclined to think that Ole Miss and Alabama have the clearest paths to the SEC West championship. Were they both to win out, Ole Miss would go to Atlanta and (fairly or unfairly) Alabama would be a CFP lock.

Florida State

I mean, after beating Notre Dame they’re essentially in. They’ve played the three toughest games on their schedule, although an October 30 trip to Louisville looms as a trickier game than pundits will allow.

A one-loss Florida State team, at this point, would be at a disadvantage against a Michigan State team whose one loss was to much better competition.

One-Loss Powers

(LOL at referring to Notre Dame as a power). Georgia fans need to become fans of whoever is matched up against the Irish, Sparty, and Oregon from here on out.

Oregon: Currently sixth in the AP, the PPI has the Ducks at 23.2% to get in, ranking only behind the SEC teams, Florida State, and Ohio State? Looking at the schedule, Stanford doesn’t seem to have the firepower to win in Autzen, and a road trip to #19 Utah doesn’t quite incite fear. An injury to Marcus Mariota or a slip-up in the Pac-12 championship eliminates UO.

Michigan State: In my opinion the biggest threat as a one-loss team, because they play in the B1G. The PPI has them at 17.5% to get in, because apparently it thinks Ohio State is going to beat them in East Lansing on November 8th. Nobody else in that league stands a chance.

Notre Dame: A one-loss Notre Dame team gets in, and you know this. Arizona State/Northwestern/Louisville/USC, don’t allow this to happen.

And Finally, the XII

The Big XII champion comes into play for the Dawgs if, as I alluded to, we lose to Auburn and then win the SEC. A two-loss Georgia team likely wouldn’t get in in front of a one-loss XII champ.

Luckily for us, it’s not likely that we see a one-loss XII champ.

AP #10 TCU still travels to West Virginia in a must-see November 1st matchup, and hosts #11 Kansas State the next week. The fighting Bill Snyders have NO shot, as they travel to both TCU and WVU, as well as Baylor.

And what of Baylor, you ask? At #12 in the AP, they’re still the likely favorite in the XII. Their only road game is a trip to Oklahoma on November 8th, and that’s going to determine their viability as a playoff team.

So How Does This Play Out? 

Thanks for asking. First of all, Georgia has to win the SEC. A second loss in Atlanta costs the Dawgs just based on timing and the committee’s efforts to avoid rematches (plus, Georgia’s inclusion would likely mean three SEC teams in the CFP– ain’t gonna happen).

Let’s rank and seed, as of today.

Locks (yanno, until they lose)

1-2) SEC West Champ, two if Alabama and Ole Miss win out (and division winner wins SEC).
3) Florida State


4) Oregon: win out and they’re in.
5) Georgia: win out, cheer for Auburn to beat either Ole Miss or Alabama, and they’ll jump Michigan State and Notre Dame (I think/the world hopes).
6) Notre Dame: a one loss Notre Dame team is in.
7) Michigan State: the first team that could actually lose a spot because of their schedule.
8) A one loss Big XII Champion.

Beyond that, a few teams for whom anonymity is still a factor are very much on the ‘outside and need some help’ looking in. Among them are both Arizona schools, Ohio State (ugh), Nebraska (haha), and…well, that’s pretty much it.

If Georgia takes care of business, the Dawgs should be in the first CFP. With 12 days to watch this thing continue to shake out, let’s hope our friends at the UGA Vault are ready to add a Final Four to the archives.

Football Season Should Be Year-Round: The Week 7 TV Viewing Guide

There was a rumor floating around in the spring that non-power 5 conferences (Or was it non-FBS? Who remembers?) were discussing moving their seasons to the spring. This rumor had me positively giddy for a few days, as we’re not even getting Tuesday/Wednesday night #MACtion yet. Imagine instead having #MarchMACtion. It would be glorious, you’d get to see potential NFL stars without them being overshadowed by the A.J. McCarrons of the world while getting beat 48-7 in a season opener, AND the product for the football we care about in the fall would be improved by more standardized competition.

Win, win, WIN!

This notion really hit home again when realizing that most teams were playing their sixth game of the season this week, meaning football is about to reach its halfway point. As a guy who only has a cursory interest in the NFL (go Ravens and my unmentionable fantasy team name), the promise of not having eight cold football-less months per year would vastly improve my life.

Thursday Night- Meh.

BYU at UCF, 7:30, ESPN: No Taysom Hill for BYU, UCF’s two losses to mediocre teams…there’s no real College Football Bowl Playoff Rotation Bowl (do they call those BCS bowls still?) interest in this game. I may actually recommend whatever NFL game hits Thursday night for once.

Friday Night- Maybe? 

Washington State at #25 Stanford (9, ESPN) is a game I wouldn’t expect to take place on a Friday night (not on Stanford’s campus, anyway), but this COULD be compelling if Connor Halliday throws for another 734 yards. In case you missed it, Connor Halliday threw for 734 yards in a LOSS to California last Saturday. That ain’t right. He’s got a future dashing some poor fanbase’s hopes for a few years on the next level.

Worth a mention because they exist: San Diego State at New Mexico (9, ESPNU), and Fresno at UNLV (10, CBSSN).

Saturdays in October- Where Even Noon is a Good Time to Drink

1) #13 Georgia at #23 Missouri (CBS, noon): Wait, I didn’t realize there was a CBS doubleheader already this week? I got one shot at previewing this one in here. This should be a great game.
2) Texas vs. #11 Oklahoma (ABC, noon): Not terribly compelling, which is usually when it becomes compelling. Can Charlie Strong and his no-name bunch of misfits take down the Sooners, who are reeling from a loss at TCU last week? Nah.
3) Duke at #22 Georgia Tech (ESPN3, 12:30): This’ll be on one of the local networks here in Atlanta. The Nerds are ranked, but can eliminate Duke from the ACC Coastal race. I’m torn here.
4) Indiana at Iowa (ESPNU, noon): See the team that beat Missouri here in case it looks like we don’t. Switch to bourbon if that’s the case.
5) #1 Florida State at Syracuse (ESPN, noon): Obligatory ‘FSU-is-still-kinda-on-upset-watch’ mention, but I don’t even want them  to lose to Syracuse.

A 3:30 Slate Where I’m Not Trapped in a Church for a Wedding

1) #2 Auburn at #3 Mississippi State (CBS, 3:30): I’m not sold on MSU yet, as I mentioned here. So watch them roll over Auburn.
2) #12 Oregon at #18 UCLA (FOX, 3:30): Loser fades into East Coast bias-laden obscurity, winner maintains an outside shot of getting back into the playoff picture (because they’ll probably both lose again).
3) #9 TCU at #5 Baylor (ABC, 3:30): This is sick. TCU probably shouldn’t have jumped all the way to 9, but oh well. A win and they’re the MAJOR favorites in the XII, which is nuts considering they went 4-8 last year. Baylor? Well, you know:

4) Louisville at Clemson (ESPNU, 3:30): Bobby Petrino said he expected Syracuse’s crowd in the Carrier Dome was louder than what the Cards would face in Death Valley. Hokay.
5) UNC at #5 Notre Dame (NBC, 3:30): I’m not doing this to myself again.

F*** It. You’re Drunk Anyway. 

1) Evening Doubleheader of SEC West Matchups on ESPN (6 and 9): #7 Alabama at Arkansas is moderately compelling even though Bama has won 7 straight, the last two by a combined 104-0. Following that, #3 Ole Miss travels to #14 Texas A&M in what is sure to be a Rebel Black Bear letdown game, right?
3) USC at #10 Arizona (ESPN2, 10:30): This is your solid weekly nightcapper. Calling the USC ‘upset’, because how does an unranked, hardly-voted-for team all of a sudden vault (Download the UGA Vault!) into the top 10?
5) Not subjecting you to any of the other games on the tube. Here’s the link if you want something miserable and boring.


Epic Speech From Mathew McConaughey To Texas Football Team, Dan Mullen Back To Florida, And More

Alright, Alright, Alright

Mathew McConaughey spoke to the Texas football team after practice on Wednesday, and now they will go on to win every single game on their schedule. Honestly, he gave a really great speech and even brought out the Wolf of Wall Street chest thump. I wouldn’t mind him coming to Tuscaloosa and giving a similar speech, because I feel like running through a wall after watching it for the fourth time. Here is the full video.

CJ Putting Ole Miss In Their Place

CJ Mosley was the leader of the Alabama defense last year that held the Ole Miss Rebels scoreless, after Bo Wallace ran his mouth saying he was not impressed with the defense of Alabama. Mosley took it personally and lead the Tide to an impressive victory over the Rebels last season. Clearly the Rebels have not learned their lesson about running their mouths, so CJ Mosley trolled some Rebels on Instagram this week. Here is the full article, but the picture he put on Instagram can be seen below.


Mullen Back To Florida? 

Florida can pay anyone to come to coach their football team once they fire Muschamp after they lose to UT this weekend. The real question is, who would they take? A lot of people believe it could be Dan Mullen or Kevin Sumlin, but I do not see either one leaving the schools they are at. Mullen has a great setup at State because he can literally win 8 games, and they are happy! Sumlin can do whatever he wants as long as they win one or two games they are not supposed to each year, so he is not going anywhere. Who do you think Florida would go after? Here is Bleacher Reports Q&A on the topic.



By God, October Brings a Good Slate: The Week 6 Viewing Guide!

I’m not a big proponent of the exclamation point. Blame Elaine Benes, blame the AOL Instant Messenger culture and its lingo, blame whatever. This week, I’m a huge fan of the exclamation point as it pertains to the college football slate (almost none of which I will be watching). You can spend 11 hours getting fat only on the SEC West and be better for it this weekend. You could expand your horizons and check out a couple of meaningful (not quite pivotal) games out West, in the ACC, or laugh at Texas.

The pattycake BS is over. This is college football.

Thursday: Your Weekend Starts Here.

I’m a hard worker (shameless plug: a damn good realtor in Atlanta), but circumstances have arisen to where I am done working for the week by about, oh, 7 pm tonight. Or maybe 10:30, because…

1) Arizona at #2 Oregon (ESPN, 10:30): Last year, the Wildcats took advantage of a sore and hobbled Marcus Mariota and stunned us with a whooping of the previously-undefeated Ducks. Do they have an encore in them? Would Michigan take Rich Rodriguez back? You have zero excuse to not watch Oregon and be informed about what they do– still the most fun program in the nation to watch.
2) UCF at Houston: No, I don’t actually care, but its on at 7 on ESPN.

Friday: If You Don’t Have A Life, There’s Decent Football?

MY GOD. Even Friday is palatable, even if its the Rocky Mountain Oysters of palatability (the squiggly red line tells me ‘palatability’ is not a word. Webster’s just added ‘selfie’ to the dictionary, so bite me.)

1) Utah State at #18 BYU (10:15, ESPN): Seriously, totally worth having a football hangover for Saturday (or just skipping perpetually overrated College Gameday) to watch. BYU is a legitimate threat to go undefeated (and hear pundits vouch for them as a playoff team, so go Utah State). Utah State has Chuckie Keeton. Great stuff.
2) Louisville at Syracuse (7, ESPN): Bobby Petrino isn’t quite must-see-TV again yet. This game makes a combined SEVEN Friday night appearances between the four most Big East of the ACC’s Big East teams (Syracuse, Pitt, BC, and Louisville). Ugh.

How Did aTm/MSU Slip into the Noons?

Starkville’s loss is your gain. Usually Starkville’s loss goes undocumented, so this is a major step up for the city, team, and program.

1) #6 Texas A&M at #12 Miss. State (noon, ESPN): Damn, this actually starts at 11am local time. As much as we Georgians like to bitch and moan about noon kickoffs, I’m expecting Starkville to be mimosa-and-screwdriver drunk, having never made the transition to beer.
2) Florida at Tennessee (noon, SECN): JesuChristo. The cheapest ticket on Stubhub is $143 as of this writing. TAKE THAT, MICHIGAN’S ATTENDANCE PROBLEMS! I picked Tennessee to win, but that kind of anticipation leads me to believe that they’ll let us down.
3) #20 Ohio State at Maryland (noon, ABC): Noted because I don’t know if aTm/MSU will be on ABC or ESPN locally. Because this one has Pam Ward game written all over it. I’m having visions of an Ohio State/Michigan game in November with both fighting for bowl eligibility, so *gags* GO TERPS!

Mid-Afternoon, Where I Humbly Submit That You DVR Georgia/Vandy and Watch Actual Good Football Games

Seriously. Expand your horizons, because you’ll be hard-pressed to find a slate like this again this season.

1) #3 Alabama at #11 Ole Miss (3:30, CBS): Or maybe watch this one on mute. Hearing Uncle Verne fawn over Oxford, The Grove, Tony Connor and Laquon Treadwell is already making me ill.
2) #14 Stanford at #9 Notre Dame (3:30, NBC): I am quite guilty on this column for making fun of Notre Dame’s preferential TV slots, but let’s give credit where credit is due. Everett Golson is a STUD, and you can’t spell stud without Stanfurd.
3) Vandy at #13 Georgia (4, SECN): I’ll give the Bulldogs the bump to 3 on this list, because Todd Gurley is Todd Gurley and we need to see Hutson Mason with the rest of the WR’s at his disposal.
4) #4 Oklahoma at #25 TCU (3:30, FOX): OH WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Gary Patterson has had his share of struggles since moving to the XII. Oklahoma already has one tricky league road win under its belt. I get strange vibes about this one, man.
5!!!!!!!) #7 Baylor at Texas (3:30, ABC/Gameplan): I’ll be honest, I wanted to put this at #1. This is going to be soooooooo much friggin’ fun, man.

Always appropriate.

6) Six. Jesus. Wake Forest at #1 Florida State (3:30, ABC/Gameplan): Florida State, as long as they’re ranked #1, is must-track TV until they figure out how to play defense or throw to anyone not named Rashad Greene. Wake Forest is (excluding sacks, which is the most amazing part) averaging 1 yard per carry this season.

Good Slate at Night, But You’ll Never Top That 3:30

GUESS WHAT?!!? We start in the SEC yet again!

1) #15 LSU at #5 Auburn (7, ESPN): Geaux Tigers (so yes, the Bayou kind). This is the typical Les Miles ‘oh we’re not GREAT but we ain’t rolling over just yet’ game.
2) #19 Nebraska at #10 Michigan State (8, ABC): I have no desire to watch it, but hope one of you does and tells me ALL about it. A Nebraska win and we can eliminate the B1G from the Playoff, and I’m totally down for that.
3) Not here to discriminate, so PICK EM time! The best game is probably Arizona State at #16 USC (7:30, FOX) as the Trojans break out shiny chrome helmets. And I’m not convinced Arizona State’s D is as bad as they let on last week. Miami visits Georgia Tech (ESPN2, 7:30), and ATLiens could probably go for like, $5. Unranked (HA!) South Carolina is at Kentucky (7:30, SECN), and I’m not going to sit here and say that won’t be compelling.


Enjoy the games, folks!


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