SEC Contenders: Each Team Gets One Player From Last Season

If you could have one player off of last years team who would it be? Once player that would help your team the most. There is only one stipulation, it cannot be a quarterback. Every contender in the SEC lost their starting QB for the most part, so clearly you would all take the signal caller. I am asking you to look deep and really think about who would make the biggest impact on your team. Here is my recommended players for each SEC contender.

Alabama: Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix

  • The Tide need some DB help. They have been struggling on the deep ball all season and a play maker like Ha-Ha would make a huge difference. Also, it is funny hearing Gary and Verne say his name. I believe that with Ha-Ha it would take the Alabama defense to 2011 levels of lockdown.


Auburn: Void 

  • No one. They cheat so they do not get help.


Georgia: Josh Harvey-Clemons 

  • Listen I know he had his issues, but my goodness could he cover some ground. I believe he could be one of the best players Jeremy Pruitt has ever coached at the star position. He would help a UGA defense that was gashed by South Carolina, and I believe that with his help they could have won that game. One player like Clemons could have made the difference in getting one or two more key stops.


South Carolina: Jadeveon Clowney 

  • Duh. I mean you have to game plan around this guy. Whether you liked his attitude or not, he is one of the most intimidating players to ever play in the SEC. With Clowney, SC would have a little easier time stopping the run, and a much better pass rush.


Florida: Do They Really Want Anybody? 

  • Last year was a dumpster fire so I believe it is in the best interest of their entire program to just start from scratch. The only person I would recommend would be Percy Harvin. I know he has been gone for a while, but if there is anyway they could get him back, they should really consider doing it.



Who would you want on your team from last year? We all know UGA fans want Aaron Murray (even though he had a worse performance against SC then Mason), the Tide wants McCarron, and SC wants Conner Shaw. Even though they would make a huge difference on each of these teams, I am sure you can think of a position that is so depleted that you are begging for the guy who was at you school last year to come back.



SEC Power Rankings, Week 4

Don’t look at this as me mailing it in, look at this as me giving you a fairly precise idea of how the league stacks up.

1) SEC West: 17-1, with one inevitable Arkansas loss because they don’t do ties in college football anymore.  There are five (5) FIVE! West teams in the top 10 of this week’s poll. That ish cray.  As ‘challenger to the SEC throne’, the Pac-12 has five teams ranked in the top 25, and #6 (Washington) comes in at 38. Hell, Arkansas is dead last in the division and comes in at 41. The Big XII boasts 4 total teams, the B1G somehow has 3, and the ACC has 2 thanks to UNC dropping after a convincing win over ‘bye’ and Virginia Tech losing to directional Carolina.

2) SEC East: 12-4, because Vanderbilt no longer counts. 0-1 vs. the SEC West, 2-2 versus itself, o-1 versus Oklahoma. But HEY, FLORIDA BEAT EASTERN MICHIGAN!

101) Vanderbilt: Falling out of the top 100 in a measure that (at most) covers 14 teams is an impressive feat, but the ‘Dores done did it in a game that only counts as a win on the scoreboard.

Giving you the business,


The One Coaching Decision That Has Shifted the SEC East Landscape, And Why Nobody Is Talking About It

Heading into the season, we podcasted a preview of every single SEC team.  During our talk about Vanderbilt, Chad and I opened by discussing a controversy at a crucial position on the Commodores’ roster.  In case you missed that conversation, here’s the transcript (not a joke):

Andrew: There’s a punting controversy brewing in Nashville, Tennessee.  You’ve got the top two returning punters coming back for Vanderbilt.  One of them is obviously more experienced; I think he had 48 kicks last year and that is Taylor Hudson.  The other—Colby Cooke, great name for a punter by the way.  Colby Cooke is coming back. He only kicked 14 times but he had a higher average and he pinned eight of those 14 kicks inside the 20, so maybe he’ll just be used situationally.  But who do you have coming back and winning this punting job?

Chad: I mean it all depends on Derek Mason’s philosophy.  If he’s big on seniority then unfortunately Taylor Hudson, as a junior, is going to stick it out.  But Colby Cooke had eight of his 14 punts downed inside the 20, averaged 45 yards a kick.  I mean that is some stout, stout punting.

Andrew: It’s going to be interesting to see—you mentioned the new coach there—his philosophy on punting.  I think this is a team that’s gonna be punting the ball a lot.  Phil Steele actually has Colby Cooke winning the job as a sophomore.  But if we’re looking for a guy who’s gonna be able to punt the ball and also be a safety valve in punt coverage we might end up going with Hudson.  They’re both 6’3”, but Hudson’s 225 and gonna be able to wrap up a little bit better than Cooke, who’s a little bit lanky at 6’3”, 208.

Chad: I will tell you this though, both punters have good size.  We could be looking at our next two Brad Wing’s in the SEC at Vanderbilt University.

Andrew: I’m for it.  Again, talk about things we never thought we’d say.  Two Brad Wing’s playing at Vanderbilt.  These guys are gonna get a lot of work.


That was the preseason chatter.  Now we’re three games into the season, and a few things are clear:

  1. Derek Mason doesn’t care about seniority.
  2. Derek Mason doesn’t care about controversy.
  3. Derek Mason might have made a mistake.


I don’t want to read too much into this, but this team has taken a few steps back.  Maybe the departure of Head Coach/Inspirational Speaker James Franklin has hurt more than some thought.  Or maybe—just maybe—this team is better when Taylor Hudson is punting the football, which he hasn’t done all season.

Locker room chemistry aside, Colby Cooke, talented as he may be, is a volatile performer.   He’s hot then he’s cold.  He’s yes then he’s no.  He’s in then he’s out.



When Cooke is good, he’s great.  He punted two balls out of bounds inside the 10-yard line in the season opener.  That’s good Colby Cooke.  When he’s bad, he’s not good.  Against Ole Miss he booted two 55-yarders; both resulted in touchbacks and net yardage of 35 yards.  Later that afternoon he booted a 49-yarder that was returned 24 yards to the middle portion of the football field.

So how volatile is he?  I created the DudeYouCrazy TPR (Total Punter Rating) to demonstrate his ups and downs.  The formula is simple:

  • Punt Distance: 1 Point Awarded Per Yard
  • Punt Return: 1 Point Deducted Per Yard Allowed (20 Points Deducted for Touchbacks)
  • Net Punt Position Between the 10 and 20-Yard Line: 5 Points Awarded
  • Net Punt Position Inside the 10-Yard Line: 10 Points Awarded
  • Return to 50-Yardline: 5 Points Deducted
  • Return for Touchdown: 10 Points Deducted
  • Divide Total Points By Number of Punts


Here’s how he’s looked over three games:


Click to Enlarge.

Click to Enlarge.


Vanderbilt doesn’t need that kind of volatility.  But as a result of it, this behemoth of football prowess has diminished and the SEC East is now wide open.  So maybe as Georgia (or Missouri or Tennessee or Florida or South Carolina or Kentucky) fans, we should be thankful that Mason has allowed punt volatility to drive Vanderbilt away from its course of dominance.



That’s all I got/




Weekly Schadenfreude: Florida Fans, Fake Punts, and Flipping Mormons

Week 3 of College Football was bananas.

It was particularly delicious for those of you that don’t have much of a dog in the hunt per se but love to watch the game because the players are juuuuuust bad enough to troll the living hell out of organized play. This week was full of goodies for folks like you.

Last week we treated a single story (Florida having to pay Idaho a million dollars for kicking them the football.) This week there were too many tasty disasters out there to limit it to just one.

So here’s the rundown. Starting with the Thursday Night game!



Yup, you are flying through the air right now this is not good.

Like this is the definition of getting “de-cleated.”

Fun scenario: you’re the linebackers coach at BYU and you have the following Friday to the next Saturday to rub this in. How many times do you play it during film study? I’ve played it upwards of 15 times and I still find myself chuckling and I don’t even know this guy. Do work!



My favorite part of this is the Ref confirming that this is actually a TD then doing the “beat-just-dropped-but-I-can-only-dance-by-head-nodding” move that every middle-aged white male has known since birth.



UGA fans are used to games against cupcakes ascending to the “might induce cardiac arrest” level (cf. Colorado 2006). Florida fans, on the other hand, well….

They seemed to hit most of the Five Stages of Grief.

First, denial.

Then, anger


Finally, Depression.

Florida fans eventually got around to Acceptance, as they managed to fall backasswards into the win column after 4OT’s.

Still, I can’t accept the physics of this game-tying Kentucky Field Goal.

I mean what the damn hell….



This may be one of the greatest GIFs I’ve ever seen. Definitely a GIF of the year nominee. Maybe not as good as Antonio Brown curb-stomping a punter, but man this is excellent.

Watch this Arkansas State defender do what can only be described as the “worst trust fall ever attempted” during this fake punt.

Now, before you play it again and again and again (which you will), check out the reverse angle WHEREIN THE MIAMI PLAYER ASSIGNED TO THIS FOOL DOES WHAT WE ALL HOPED HE WOULD DO…

Here are my preliminary questions for the “play dead” guy:

1.) What were the exact words your special teams coach used to describe your task on this particular play?

2.) Were you going for “sad kid with no friends does a trust fall” or was there perhaps a bit of “protest deforestation by imitating a falling Barrigona tree?”

3.) You seemed to get up only after you realized the ball had been intercepted. If the ball had not been intercepted how long would you have lain prostrate upon the turf? Till the end of the play? The Game? Until life regained its meaning for you?

4.) Was it in fact that you had forgotten your assignment, were afraid you were going to get lit up by the Miami player across from you, and in the heat of the moment adopted a strategy from your brief knowledge of Kevin Hart..?

Fun Project: go back and watch the first vine and imagine the offensive lineman goin, “Wayne. WAYNE?!” and then the guy on the ground being like “you better shut up before you get shot.”

God bless you, Arkansas State.








Georgia Football: Mark Richt as Charlie Brown? Ouch, Rolling Stone

Georgia is now the lovable underdog, according to Michael Weinreb of Rolling Stone.

In one of the biggest kicks in the nuts I’ve ever read, Good Grief: Mark Richt is College Football’s Charlie Brown pretty much sums up the Georgia fan experience of recent years: close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

There is no doubt you’re a good man, Mark Richt, but in a profession as nasty as this one, and in a conference as relentlessly vicious as the SEC, I’m not sure that’s much of an asset.

This whole thing is just gut-wrenching to read, and could easily have been written by our Jason Smith in one of his bouts of Georgia-related depression.

If you haven’t read it yet, I’ll warn you: love hurts.


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